The Arrival of A Prince

He's Heeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeee!!!


After nine months of preparation a new royal has arrived....

INTRODUCING SHAYNE KRISTIAN SMITH...the newest member of the Just Write Now clan!

Born on last Monday, September 28th and having arrived home for the very first time yesterday (Friday, October 2nd), Shayne is happy to make your acquaintance.

His first name means "Gift from GOD" and is the result of blending his Mom and Dad's first names (Sharon and DeWayne); as you can see, he clearly is GOD'S GIFT!

Shayne weighed in at 7 pounds 13 ounces and measured 21 1/4 inches long. His entrance was scheduled well in advance and took place as planned after 3 false starts a week or two earlier.

The Little Prince's birth was attended by his mother, Queen Just Write Now (who would have been there even if it wasn't necessitated by nature!) and his father, King Sergeant Daddy. Following the long awaited birth, The Little Prince was greeted by many excited members of the Just Write Now clan!

Suffice it to say that the Just Right Now clan is rejoicing in the arrival of its newest Prince and wanted to share the blessed news with the rest of you as soon as we could. So that you blog members of the Just Right Now clan can join the rest of us in our rejoicing, I am attaching the following video so you can BE THERE as our newest Prince spends his first minutes at home.

Thanks for being family and sticking with the Just Write Now Clan!!!

83 Days Between Now and the Start of Mommyhood: Part Two

So I'm sure most of you who frequent that Original Oldgirl Ladylee's blog have figured out by now that Ms. Just Write Now is going to be a Mommy all over again in just a few short months! For those of you who were not aware, I'm here to say that Yes! It is true and I could not be happier about it.


I am beginning a whole new life and the most amazing thing about it all was that I saw none of it heading my way before it landed literally in my lap.

As I started to say back in March (when I left many of you hanging so unceremoniously...I apologize but there were good reasons for that) it all started with the picture in the last post. While trying to delete a profile the PO had used to communicate with me on a social networking site, I was sent the previously mentioned photo. I don't know what it was, but something about the photo spoke to me and though I had never before responded to an online request to communicate with someone I didn't either already know or minimally been exposed to through someone I knew, I decided to respond. In a very short period of time, I found myself completely enchanted by this soldier who at the time was stationed in Iraq.

In a very short time, we were communicating regularly and extensively first via the social website, then via email, and finally through Yahoo chat. Our chats lasted for hours on end (one of the reasons I was MIA around here so much....sorry ;), and our ability to communicate was so easy and natural that I knew before ever meeting in person that this individual would be a pivotal relationship in my life. From the very start, there was an ease in our ability to chat and a natural honesty in every exchange we shared. As I became more comfortable (because as many of you know, I tend to be somewhat paranoid about my personal safety when it comes to the internet), we finally moved to phone calls.

By nature a person who puts a lot of emphasis on her auditory sense, as I awaited that first phone call from Iraq, I prayed that his voice would be pleasing to my ear. I was NOT disappointed by what I heard and sometime during that very first phone call I knew I was speaking with my personal destiny.

From there, things progressed and we became closer and closer with both of us realizing even before meeting that we were in love with each other....at least on an emotional/spiritual/mental level and all that remained was to meet in person once he returned from Iraq to determine if the connection we felt would translate into the physical realm.

Well, we did meet and in answer to that particular query, I'll say this..."Today, I am six months, two weeks pregnant with our son!" His third and my second, bringing us to a grand total of 4 sons between us!

So, at this point what I can tell you is that all is great and with all the changes my life is what I think of as a compilation of moving parts. Right now the plan is for me to move to the New Orleans (where he is currently stationed) late this summer / early this fall once the baby arrives (due date: September 28th). I am currently in the process of pursuing a new job with my current company that will allow me to transfer to the NOLA region. This process should be completed by September 1st according to the current timelines. I am also trying to get Ryan (my 19 year old son who will be heading into his Sophomore year of college next month) situated in his own apartment as he does not wish to move to NOLA with us. Simultaneously, I am in the process of sorting out my house and trying to determine what to keep and what to eliminate before the move.

Like I said, my life is ALL MOVING PARTS right now but you know what, I could not be happier or more excited about how very unpredictable it all is!

GABBY'S NEW COUSIN IS COMING SOON....SO STICK AROUND!

She Was Gone.....

until one day, out of the blue and just like that she was back! Hello all you loves of my life! I'm back and to all those who let me know I was missed "Thank you so much for letting me know I am loved!" To those who missed me in silence, I know you all love me too! To all of you, I apologize for staying away so terribly long this time but believe me when I tell you that my life has been absolutely unbelievable in the time I have been away. So much has happened that I don't know where to begin telling the story. Should I go back to last fall when it all began or should I start today when things are so wonderfully and amazingly beautiful I can't begin to make you all understand how happy I am?!!!!

You all have "heard" me say time and again how dramatically a life can change in a year....525600 minutes. Well believe me when I tell you that the life I'm living today, March 31st 2009 is a work of art that I could never have conceived could ever exist 525600 minutes ago! Where do I begin?

I guess the best thing to do is to begin at the beginning so I guess that's what I'll do.....

It all started with this picture.

Gabby's Fabbies

This is my great neice Gabriela [Gabby for short] and her favorite great aunt, TeTe (that would be me for the picture illiterate amongst you ;) LOL! Gabby is in a word.....FABULOUS! She is 3 years old and full of the most brilliant light I've ever had the pleasure to see.

A few weeks ago, Gabby and her mother, my beautiful neice Crystal moved in with me. The timing could not have been better considering the love of my life, my BabyMAN Ryan, was heading off to college leaving me to manage living in a house that would have been waaaayyyyyy too quiet without him. With Gabby around, I assure you that things are never quiet for long and that's exactly the way I like it!

Since Gabby has been here, she has said things that have shocked and amazed me and then in the very next moment she has said things that have cracked me up. Sometimes, she does all three simultaneously. With so much material available to me, I have decided to start a regular blog series called GABBY'S FABBIES. Here is the first installation.....

Labor Day weekend, I went to Nebraska to visit my best friend who lives in a small town; Gabby and her mother accompanied me there. On Saturday, my Godson wanted to go to the local college's season opening football game, so I took him, my nephew Justin, and Gabby.

Arriving at the game, Gabby and I sat in the bleachers and as expected, we were the only black folks there. As you can see, Gabby is an adorable child; those surrounding us in the bleachers thought so too. As is the tradition at sporting events in this country, the color guard took the field to the music of the Star Spangled Banner; this is when the Fabby occurred.

Sitting in my lap chattering away with those around us, Gabby looked out on the field and spotted the "stars and stripes". Immediately she became visibly excited, bouncing on my lap and clapping her hands. With the wonderful innocence one possesses only in early childhood, Gabby turned to me and said:

"TeTe!! Look! Look at them! They got them a

AFRICAN-American flag!"

Believe me when I tell you that there are several folks in a small town in middle Nebraska who are nursing whiplashes as we speak. It turns out that Gabby was recently taken on a field trip where she learned a thing or two about Black history and she now claims the stars and stripes as her own in the most literal sense of the word.

Yesterday when Gabby's mother was relaying this story to her teacher as she picked Gabby up from school, the teacher called Gabby over. The following exchange occurred:

Teacher: Gabby, what does the color red mean in the African-American flag?

Gabby: The blood our forefathers shed for freedom.

Teacher: What does the black mean?

Gabby: The color of our skin.

Teacher: What does green mean?

Gabby: Green means GO!

Passion and Desire Baby....

It was less than a year ago, that I first kinda met my real-life [well "virtual real-life"] romantic couple idols....my virtual friends Ali and Zay.

You see, though I have yet to meet either of them face to face and have as of yet never even spoken with the Ali half of this amazing lovers equation, their love story is one that I treasure and place right up there with those of the greats such as Romeo and Juliet, Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, and Thomasine and Bushrod!

I met Zay via the blogosphere, and through him I learned of Ali and his over-arching love for her. If you knew him, even if you only knew him through his blog, you would know of his passion for his Ali for he expressed it effortlessly through his poetry there:

She Used Me

She used my brush to paint a masterpiece on the canvas in her belly
Delicate strokes applied in living color within her flesh
She used my pen to write a novel on the pages of her thighs
A manuscript to be read aloud over and over
She used my marker to write a label across her chest
My name in big bold glistening letters
She used my pillar to support her fantasies
Until I made each one come true
She used my key to unlock her inner self
To be the woman of my dreams
She used my ruler to measure our love
Inch by inch as it grew

She yearned to give me her living heart
Even as it beat within her chest but
Her life is much too precious
So she gave me the key
To it instead

If you could hear the passion in his voice when he speaks of her or the fierce protectiveness that comes through the phone lines whenever he feels that she is in any way threatened by anything, then you would know what it is that I am talking about when I say I can only pray that one day a man [as amazing and in touch with himself as my friend Zay is] will feel that way about me.

Never having actually spoken with Ali, I've heard her voice and the passion it carries for Zay as well via the blogsphere. A visit to Zay's blog before it was closed would have allowed you to witness hauntingly beautiful photography of Ali such as the one I stole up above. Just stop and take a look at that photo for a second will you; even though you can see less than half of Ali's beautiful face, what does what you can see say to you? To me, it says this is a woman in love who is passionately at peace and happily enveloped in the love of the man with whom GOD has gifted her.

A deeper dive into Zay's blog would have led you to this photo and this anecdote about Ali in which her feelings for Zay are painfully clear....

[There are absolutely no words to express how
privileged I feel to be loved as strongly, trusted as completely, let in as deeply as how
Ali loves me, trusts me and let’s me in. The photo above was taken on my first trip to
Jamaica. While Ali and I were together I was very surprised to see her crying. I mean
we were having the most wonderful time in the world and there she was crying. I
asked what was wrong and without looking at me she just said in that soft voice of
hers. “I know you’re not leaving until tomorrow, but I miss you already.” ]
*******************
- as told by Zay of A Lover's Dream

as well as these comments from Zay which demonstrate that he knows exactly where he stands with this woman....

Bad...
Being madly in love with a woman in another country
Good...
The absolute certainty she gives me that she is just as crazy about me. All evidenced by her words, her actions, her sacrifices, and the incredible efforts she puts out to always make me feel that I am the most important person in her life.
Bad...
She lives in Jamaica.
Good...
She lives in Jamaica ;-) 7 trips in 2007. Some people in blogland be hatin' but I still got mad love for ya'll LOL ;-) Besides, very soon she will be here with me and there wont be any more Jamaica trips for a while.

See why these two are my romantic idols? When at longlast I finally grow up and fall in love, I wanna be like my friends Ali and Zay! In my mind, their names could just as easily have been Passion and Desire because to me, that is exactly what their love represents.

As Zay said in the post excerpted above, Ali was scheduled to be here with him very soon. Well blog friends, VERY SOON IS NOW and Ali should already have arrived if the weather and all else cooperated. Oh how I hope she is here so that my friend Zay will at long last have what he has wanted for so very long....his Ali! If indeed she is here, I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome her home and into the family she may not even know she has as of yet.

Ali, please know that though you may feel very far from your own family and what has been home to you for as long as you can remember, you have a home and a family here as well that is looking forward to welcoming and embracing you with outstretched arms. Please feel free to think of me as the long-lost sister you've only just now learned of and know that I am here whenever and if ever you need me and even if you find you don't need me at all.

You have given my friend Zay a joy and a light that I can HEAR in his voice, and a woman capable of giving a light that one can hear when it can't be seen, is definitely a woman I would feel privileged and honored to get to know.

Congratulations to you both, Ali and Zay; and please accept this gift from me via my gurl Jilly from Philly as the very first time I heard this a month or so ago, it brought the two of you to mind. Blessings and continued love to you and the beautiful, black family you will create together.

When Happiness (or what looks like it) Is Not Worth What It Costs....

I don't know if you guys realize this or not, but I am a very introspective person in many ways and as such, I find myself spending quite a bit of time reflecting on events that have occurred during my life and how those things impact me and my outlook. The last few days have been an absolute exercise in introspection for me; let me explain.

I am blessed or cursed [depending on how you look at it], with a really good memory for dates and events. If a date is special to me for any reason, good or bad, I will always remember it. Today, August 18th, is the birthdate of my ex. Over the weekend I was acutely aware that this day was coming and it still carried the significance of being my ex's B-day in my mind. From the moment the thought of his impending birthday popped into my mind, I found myself doing what I do...reflecting back on his previous birthdays.

Two years ago as his birthday approached, I was busy as a bee as I ran around purchasing special gifts for him which I arranged to have delivered along with each course of the delicious dinner I had arranged for us at a premeire restaurant here in St. Louis. I picked him up from the airport the night before his birthday while my girlfriend delivered his wrapped presents to the restaurant on my behalf where they would be stashed until his birthday dinner the following night.

When his birthday actually arrived, as it turned out, we spent the entire day arguing and almost did not go to dinner as I had planned. It was one of the most trying days I have ever spent with anyone as he was angry with an administrator at his college but chose to take out his frustrations on me all day. I remember thinking "Buddy, you are going to feel so badly once you see all of the trouble I've gone to trying to make this a special day for you." I wrote this post about him and how blessed I felt to have him in my life and what I hoped the future held for us. Somehow, we made it through the day and when we finally arrived at the restaurant, we had the best date of our lives together. That was the high point of my time with him....I was happy.

A year later (last year), as his birthday approached, I was at the lowest point I can ever remember in my life. We (read he), had made the decision to end our relationship against my wishes, and I truly did not see how I was ever going to recover from the heartbreak that came with that decision. I wrote several sad little posts which illustrate the depths to which my spirit had sunken during this time. Never before had I been so depressed, and I hope never again to have that particular experience.

This year as the fact that it was soon to be his birthday once again reached my conscious mind, I found myself reflecting on the last two years and the thought I was left with was this....

What is happiness worth? Two years ago as I planned his birthday surprises, I had never before been happier. However, in the midst of my "happiness", I had to work harder than I ever had before to try to make him happy because he was in my opinion a very high maintenance and temperamental man who was prone to rapid mood swings with which I could barely keep up. When he wanted to, he could make me feel like the world revolved around the two of us, but just as easily, he could erase me from the world if he was of a mind to do such a thing. Then, last year I couldn't spell happiness as he completely changed the world I knew by deciding to no longer be a part of my world as abruptly as one might decide to change one's mind about what to wear. With that seemingly spur of the moment decision, he took away every shred of happiness I felt. Today, though I wouldn't say that I am happy [though I also would NOT say that I am unhappy either], I can say with absolute certainty that I am content and looking forward with boundless optimism to the happiness that I am positive is coming my way. The funny thing is that as much as I appreciate the lifelong love affair I have had with happiness, I must admit that when I think of what the tenuous happiness that he brought to my life cost me and my spirit, I'll pass and take the contentment and peace of mind I am blessed with right now over that particular brand of fleeting, erratic happiness.

Like every major relationship I've ever had with a man has done, this one taught me a valuable lesson as well....sometimes what passes for happiness may not be worth what it costs. Whenever that is the case, I have learned to simply let it go and hold on to my belief and faith in the fact that what is for me is mine as I continue living for the happiness that it sure to find me eventually. I know that whenever it does find me, it will definitely be worth the price I will be expected to pay for it! The take-away?...

Everything costs you something....just make sure it is worth the price!!!

Twins Re-Connected By Blog ;)

Comment | Copy This

Mirror Re-Image by Sharon J. for Lovebabz

At the core of you I recognized me
Significant and glorious and fully the “I”, I strive to be
Choosing love over all else especially fear
Your voice speaks the words my brain whispers in my ear.

Your smile reflects the joy of the life I’ve been gifted
Your heart plays the rhythms on which my spirit is lifted
From your words I gather nourishment again and again
So similar are parts of our journeys, I call you my Twin.

My sibling unmet, unseen, technically unheard
We’re related by blog, by hearts, and by words
Come hell or high water I know you are there
Strengthening me, steadying me, with your soul--so rare.

Geography notwithstanding we’re connected, you and I
Not born of the same parents, the laws of genetics we defy
More alike than different yet different all the same
Lovebabz you amaze me, and thus I speak your name.

I speak it when lonely, feeling lost, or afraid
I speak it when at last into night the day fades
I speak it in exclamation when so filled with happiness I nearly burst
I speak your name because you felt all of these things first.

“How can this be?”, when I’m the older I believe
Your wisdom predates your birth and from GOD it was received
You bring knowledge from the ancestors which you generously share
Teaching us all about love and not being afraid to show we care.

You are fearless about love and your message is heard
It fortifies us and encourages us to spread the good word
Until from my lips to his ears and so on from there
This wonderful chorus becomes a new prayer.

A prayer that is being answered in you and in me
A prayer that is being realized in everything that we see
In our children, our friends, and all the loves of our lives
A prayer that began with you and now lives and now thrives.

Changing the unchangeable is what you do so well
Each and every one of us benefits from the truths that you tell
New understandings help us all to grow [as you say] in love
And though this is your birthday WE received in YOU, a special gift from above.

At the core of you I recognized me
Significant and glorious and fully the “I”, I strive to be!

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Forget everything else I’ve ever said, “I wanna be YOU when I grow up!

Sometimes Long-term Gratification Arrives Sooner Than You Think!

Two weeks or so ago, my son Ryan took me on the most fabulous date of my life; we went to his high school's annual Mom Prom. During this amazing once in a lifetime event, I was presented with a letter my son had written to me. This letter was so amazing that it made me cry as I read it because it was proof positive that much of what I hoped I had taught my son had been absorbed. For the first time in his life, I was able to see that my child indeed had a sensitivity for what it has taken on my part to raise him. Here is what his letter to me said:

Dear Mom,

I wanted to write this letter to thank you for all of the wonderful things you have done for me during my high school career. I really appreciated you giving me the opportunity to go to a school as great as CBC and, even more, I appreciate the many sacrifices you have made to keep me here. You have made financial sacrifices and donated countless hours of your time for not only my academics but my extra-curricular activities as well. Sacrifices this large take not only patience but love and I'd like to thank you for being patient with me and loving me through my high school experience regardless of how hard things may have been at times. I will never forget the sacrifices you have made for me and I plan on passing on the same love and patience when I have kids. Thank you for everything.

Your son,
Ryan

As they say, turnabout is fair play, so on Friday, March 21st when I received a letter from Ryan's school explaining to me that he would be participating in an overnight retreat for seniors at his school on Monday April 14th and asking me to write a letter to my son in which I should say whatever it was that I felt I wanted to say to him at this juncture in his life I jumped at the chance. I was asked to keep the letter a secret from my son and deliver or mail it to his school so that it could be given to him during the overnight retreat. As you can see by the two JPEG files of the actual letter I wrote to my son, I was able to create a watermark using his baby pictures. Since the text in the pictures is probably not legible to the average eye, I have pasted the actual text of the letter below with my son's permission. Keep in mind that since I am 25 years older than my son, I had a bit more to say! ;)

April 13, 2008

Dear Ryan,

I love you.

The day we left home to drive to Nebraska for Easter, I received a letter from CBC asking me to secretly write this letter to you and send it to the school so it could be given to you now during your senior retreat (remember Mom Prom? Turnabout is fair play they say ;). I started working on the letter the next day and only finished it this past weekend because there are so many things I want to say to you that I found it hard to put into words. The most important thing, I have already said but will say again because it is always worth repeating: “I love you”.

I can remember the day you were born and every second of your life with me since so clearly that when I look at you now, I am stunned to see the man you have become. This man seems so far removed from the happy, handsome little boy with the chubby arms that were constantly wrapped around my neck as he whispered “I love you Mommee!” in my ear. I can remember thinking as I watched you grow up that the day would come when you would grow out of “loving your Mommee”, and I was afraid of that day. Thankfully, it has never come because for some reason I will never possibly be deserving of, GOD chose to send me this amazing son who has and continues to show his love for his mother in the face of everything, even other teenagers and his newly found love of girls!

I worry that you fail to understand how truly wonderful and gifted you are so let me tell you again in writing just so you will have something to which you can refer in the future if ever you are unsure. First of all and maybe most importantly, you have a great heart. You care about other people and you show them that you do most of the time. That is a gift from GOD that I pray you will embrace, cherish, and never allow yourself to lose or take for granted. It is your heart, (not your head) that will always help you to do what is right; so give it the respect it deserves always and it will never steer you wrong.

Your personality sets you apart from the rest of the crowd; it has since the day you were born. You are interesting and fun to be around and that is why people have and always will love you and want to be a part of your inner circle. Since you were a very small child, you were a leader amongst other children, and almost every adult to whom I have ever introduced you has said something about having “the feeling” that one day you will be a huge success in this world. You have always inspired that sensation in people which makes you a success even now…you exude potential and as you try to realize as much of your potential as you can, you will experience a life filled with wonder and excitement.

You are a natural-born comedian; face it Dude…you are funny! Additionally, you are much smarter than your mother though you have never believed this to be true. The fact of the matter is, in order to be funny one must first be smart. You are still not convinced of the fact that you are indeed very smart, but one day you are going to be so surprised to learn that a person with the quality of brain DNA you have received from both of your family trees cannot help but have a beautiful mind to go along with that beautiful face ;)

Last but not least by a long shot, let me discuss that awe-inspiring “right brain-ness” of yours. YOU ARE AN AMAZING ARTIST! Way back in time when you were 3 or 4 years old, even I, (the anti-artist ;) could see how artistically talented you are. I have a portfolio of drawings you did then which I kept because they impressed me even then. However, I had no idea about the level of talent you would demonstrate as time passed. The visual art you create is truly world-class. From your cartooning to your logo designs to the computer art that you have breathed life into, I am constantly in awe of what you can do! Little did I know until much later that it went far beyond visual art forms and you were musically inclined as well. My favorite pastime is listening to you play the piano. You have no idea how brilliantly you play but I do, and I hope you will continue to explore and learn more about the piano as well as continue to develop your interests in other areas of music. Music though it does not come directly from me (lol!) is also a gift of both of your family trees which makes it as natural to you as breathing; so please let this gift keep on giving.

I know I have to stop this at some point, but there are so many things I want to say to you and this could be the only/last opportunity I ever have to help you to understand what you have brought to my life; so I will not take it for granted. YOU HAVE BEEN AN ONGOING AND CONSTANTLY THRILLING GIFT TO ME!! Even on our worst days with each other (some report card days, “clean this pit of a room days”, “why do I have to tell you the same thing over and over days”, etc. ;), you have been the best thing that EVER HAS OR WILL happen to me. You have saved my life without knowing it so many times that the only word that really describes you is HERO…my hero that is. As I told you in my email to you last week, your graduation from high school is YOUR accomplishment of which I get to be proud because it is proof positive that you are indeed becoming the man I hoped I was raising. I am very proud of you for graduating high school, but more so for everything else you are and have/will accomplish in your life. You have exceeded all expectations of the kind of person I hoped my son would be. I wish for you as you head out into the world on your own for the first time, what you have brought to me in such abundance: LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!!

One of these days in the not too distant future, some very blessed young woman is going to have the good fortune to have you fall in love with her. She is going to go to bed one night as an ordinary person and then wake up on the day she meets you not knowing that her life is going to be fantastically changed forever that day because of the simple fact that GOD loves her so much! When she wakes up that morning, she is going to be just as clueless as I was on November 14th 1989 because she won’t have any idea that like HE showed me on November 15th 1989, GOD is about to show her HIS love for her by sending to her one of HIS most perfect creations, my son…the smiling, joking, laughing little boy who has matured into the brilliant, talented, awesome man now known as

Mr. Ryan Alexander Jenkins.

Thank you for the privilege and indescribable joy of having been your mother.

Sincerely yours forever,
Ms. Sharon L. Jenkins, preferably known as Mom

My son told me upon returning home from the retreat yesterday that he almost cried when he read his letter. He shared with me that during some of the retreat workshops when other students were asked their impressions of him many spoke of the same characteristics and traits I had spoken of in my letter (i.e. his leadership abilities, intelligence, sense of humor, and artistic skills). In a word, my son was mesmerized by this experience and somewhat shocked to hear the same things being said about him by kids as well as his Mom. Me, I am wholly gratified by the lifelong blessing of getting to be his mother!

In closing, Lauren Hill expresses it best except she mistakenly uses the name Zion instead of Ryan!!! ;)

Hands Down The Best Date Ever!!!

In this world, a girl/woman is lucky if she is gifted with one man who truly loves her. Me...so far I've been blessed with two. It started with my Daddy who I spoke about in this post. It continues with my son who has been the subject of so many posts such as this one, and this one, and this one...you get the point. ***BIG GRIN***

The fact of the matter is that thanks to the blessing of having been loved unconditionally by these two amazing men, this sistah here can recognize a good man when she runs across one. What that means to the rest of the world and especially to any man who might wish to insert himself into this sistah's life is that he better come correct because she has been loved by the best and they have set a standard that he MUST be able to match!

Now if you would be so kind as to join me for a little video montage of my best date ever!!!


And as an added bonus, let's all "Crank That Soldier Boy!!!"

Living My Life Like It's GOLDEN!

The Birthday was an absolute BLAST!!!! And just in case you don't believe me, here's the proof...

BTW, this video is pretty much over at the timepoint 3:40 but I couldn't make the Windows Movie Maker program stop so it just goes on and on and on and on and.... ENJOY ;-)

Also, I wanted to share my birthday present from Ladylee this year...she is the very first blogger I ever met, and she gave me my personal theme song on my birthday last year which I have used as background music for the birthday movie you are about to view! Thanks OG!

LIFE'S A TRIP...If You're Lucky!

The lady in the picture with surprise written all over her face is my grandmother as she entered her Surprise 83rd Birthday Party/Talent Show thrown by my family. She is surrounded by me, the eighth of her sixty-nine grandchildren, my first cousin Mikey (lower left corner) who is the last of her 69 grandchildren, and my second cousin Tracy, one of her 30 or so (at last count) great-grandchildren. I have the extreme privilege of being a member of a five-generation family full of people who enjoy each other just about more than they enjoy anything else! With the exception of two of the smaller branches of my Grandmother's family tree, we all live here in St. Louis and thus every Saturday as I was growing up ended up being a virtual family reunion as we all gathered at my Grandmother's house.

For as far back as I can remember, my Grandmother's house has been my family's gathering place and every major "soul food holiday" celebrated by black American families like mine meant that my Grandma was in the kitchen hooking it up for ALL OF US! I am 42 years old people and my mother, my Grandmother's oldest child is 65. Y'all do the math, that's a HELLA lot of cooking! I try to help her out by taking the load off of her when I can like in this picture which is my basement set for Christmas dinner with 60 of my closest relatives ;)

.

or this picture which shows said relatives in the self-service line getting their eat on!.

This year, as my Grandmother's protector and favorite grandchild (get over it and just accept the facts", said Ms. Just Write Now to her siblings and cousins who have always hated on her for this designation...LOL!), I decided to put an end to her having to work so hard to have us all together on a holiday; so I organized a "vacation on the lay-away plan" for all of my relatives who wanted to come.

So from Friday, November 21, 2008 thru Saturday, November 29th our current address will be here:

We will spend that time cruising and partying from Fort Lauderdale to San Juan to St. Thomas to La Romana to Grand Turk to Nassau and back to Fort Lauderdale on the newest addition to Carnival's fleet The Splendor. In the course of all of this cruising, the first of the major winter "soul food holidays" Thanksgiving, will occur. For the first time in 65 years, my Grandma isn't worried about who's doing the cooking but will still be able to have Thanksgiving dinner surrounded by her family which is and has been the thing that drives everything she does for more than half a century now. Even going on this cruise is in part driven by her love for her family. You need me to prove it? Well, she (like my mother) is pretty much terrified of water. Having convinced my own mother to just try cruising back in 2003 when our branch of the family tree went on a 7 day cruise, I assigned my mother to convince her mother. My mother assured my Grandmother that indeed what I say is true and she never even has to see the water if she does not want to. To add to that endorsement and ensure that my Grandma's fear of water won't lead to a last minute decision to renege, I am paying for her cruise as a gift and I know she would never allow my money to go to waste ;) This is our itinerary,

and to date 38 of my family along with a few close friends of the family have signed up and begun their "lay-away" payments to go. I anticipate a mad rush of relatives trying to sign up in the next few weeks now that tax refund season is here. They too will be able to attend; however, because the rest of us made our initial deposits last August prior to Carnival adding an extra day for which we were not charged, they will not get as great a price as we did (i.e. interior cabins $645 per person).

One of the things I am passionate about is opening up the doors of the world to my family. I come from a family that for the most part dwells in the lowest economic brackets. As a child everyone I was related to lived in "the hood". Born in the projects and having spent my entire childhood in all black, inner-city neighborhoods and schools (and loved it I might add!), it could have been very easy to miss out on all the opportunities available in the wide world. When I was 16 years old, I was blessed to be encouraged by my mother to try for a selection to be a foreign exchange student to another country. I was selected and subsequently spent four months living in Italy. From that point on, the world became a playground for me and I refuse to let myself or those in my family with the desire to play on this playground allow lack of funds to quell what is attainable with just a little advance planning and discipline.

So let the count down begin because in less than ten months my 86 year old Grandma will be leaving this country for the very first time in her life along with the grandchildren and great-grandchild pictured with her above and many of her other descendents not pictured here. The age range of those in attendance based on current reservations will go from 86 all the way down to 3 years old! My Grandma will see, feel, smell, taste, and touch things she never before imagined, and she will have the intensely special sensation of sharing those experiences with four generations of her descendents. Imagine that! One thing's for sure, I know we are ready to go; what I don't know is whether or not the Eastern Caribbean is ready for us!!

Picture taken at my Grandma's house when I was about seven.

(Okay, okay, I'm third from left standing in grey dress with lollipop stick hanging out my mouth and that's Grandma in the middle of the picture in the orange dress and Afro wig ;0)

See What Had Happened Was....

The aftermath of the end of a serious romantic relationship is always difficult to navigate at best. From publicizing the break-up to others, to dealing with the surprise and condolences offered as the word gets around, to deciding when one is at a point that dating again makes sense, there is nothing easy about this predicament.

In the worst-case scenarios, one or both parties can't seem to stay out of each other's lives which only adds to how problematic managing this time in one's life can be. In my case, when I say goodbye to a romantic liaison, I say SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, GOODBYE! I typically am not the type to continue the "friendship" or meet for lunch or any of those types of things (with the exception of one case). I'm not sure why this is unless it is that though I have typically been the one to ultimately fire the bullet that put the injured horse [that was the relationship by that point] out of its misery, I was almost NEVER the one who actually wanted the relationship to end. By forcing me to end something I still wanted to flourish, many of my ex'es wrote themselves off my radar screen, just like that.

I have found that in my own dealings with the opposite sex, even when they want out of the relationship, the men in my life have been unable to simply END IT. I call it the "Good Guy Syndrome"; none of them wanted to be the bad guy, the one who ended it. Even so, most of them found no issues with coming out of the bag on me in ways that left me no choice but to call it quits; effectively avoiding being the one to break it off a.k.a. the bad guy. Nevermind that the shit they did to piss me off enough to let go was worse than simply ending it could ever have been. Yeah, as I think back now, I can not recall even one relationship that was terminated by the man with whom I was involved stepping forward and simply saying "I no longer want to be in this relationship." or any other words to that effect; not even when that was exactly what he wanted.

Anyway, I digress...
What I came here to toss around today is the idea of how long is long enough for someone [man or woman] to get over the emotional trauma caused by the break-up of a serious relationship and start dating again? AND, is it ALWAYS necessary that the individual in question take that time?

As you heard in the audio introduction to this post, one of my ex'es suggested to me a few weeks ago that I had not given myself enough time to get over the PO before considering the option of dating again. My impulse upon hearing his opinion was to tell him to "Kiss My Black Ass", but he might have been pleased by that suggestion so I opted to just get off the phone. LOL.

That was almost 3 weeks ago, but today as I sit isolated in the house with an ear infection and some really funky stuff happening with my throat as evidenced by that extremely "sexy" voice recording I left :), I got to thinking about what he'd said. I found myself wondering whether he might be right on any level or was he just being a typical hater and doing what haters do best:

HATERS HATE.

As I rolled this question over my brain cells until they were well saturated with the issue these thoughts started to take shape.

1. I suppose it could be said that there is a period of time necessary to "mourn" the death of a relationship that at one time was the primary focus in one's life.

-However, it is my opinion that only I can decide for me how long that time period needs to be. For some external force to try to dictate for me how long I should wait when that individual has no real clue of whether or not I am ready to move on, stay still, or heaven forbid even go back and re-visit what I just left behind is absolutely ridiculous.
-Furthermore, I personally don't feel that every break-up even requires a mourning period at all. I know that in some situations what is being left behind was so worthless, meaningless, and shallow that getting out of it is in many ways a relief or cause celebre'! When this is the case, the individuals leaving this train-wreck behind may be ready to become involved [maybe even seriously] immediately thereafter.

2. It seems that most people believe that it is necessary to have a significant "break" from dating following a serious break-up.

-Perhaps, but here's the thing...
I believe in carpe diem....seizing the day, though I don't believe in one single "soul mate" for each of us because I think GOD loves me much too much to make finding happiness so unlikely considering the size of the planet and the sheer numbers of people on it [but this is a post for another day huh-LOL]. Anyway, carpe diem applies in my book no matter what is going on. So imagine a situation where you have recently ended a serious relationship that was everything but good for you. Shortly thereafter, you meet someone who possesses all of the traits you value in a significant other and who wants to be good for you and to you but because of the proximity of meeting him/her to the end of your last relationship you decide that you cannot investigate what could potentially be exactly what you have been dreaming of all along. I say "To hell with that nonsense!" In my opinion, meeting someone who has the potential to make you happy and letting him/her go by because you took longer than you should have to figure out the last person you were with was not good for you is just compounding your mistake. I've said this before, but it warrants repeating again here:

Letting a person who might be capable of making you happy go by without taking the time to investigate is tantamount to being given the POWERBALL numbers the day before they are picked and deciding to wait to play them next week.

People the thing to understand is that sometimes TIMING IS EVERYTHING! So understanding that sometimes a break from dating is needed, I still say no matter what, don't forget to seize the day!!!

3. Rushing too soon into dating again or another relationship means you are on the "rebound".

-Maybe, maybe not. It is that simple. The key is to make sure that whatever you went through that led to the break-up has been as fully resolved as possible. The fallacy in waiting for "total resolution" of previous issues is that most of us never completely resolve the issues with which we are confronted. Sometimes we don't even know what the issue was that led to the demise of the relationship because we were blind-sided by a partner who seemed to do an about-face for no clear and apparent reason. In those cases, I believe the best we can possibly hope for is that we are able to accept the end of the relationship and take the fact that we don't truly understand the how or the why in stride. I have known people who when faced with this situation have spent unimagineable amounts of time just trying to figure it out. Sometimes, (and please understand that this is only sometimes) the thing to understand is that sometimes you don't get to understand much if anything and sooner or later it is time to just move on. Time is not promised and as such should never be wasted.

-The other point to keep in mind here is that you should never feel you have to explain or justify to anyone other than yourself your readiness to step back into dating. I have heard so many people explaining all that they have done to "get their heads together" or why it is "not too soon to be dating again"; when in actuality those things are no one else's business but their own! In my opinion, it is not for me or anyone else to question another's readiness to "get back on the horse" so to speak. So to those of you who find yourself explaining AND those who find yourselves criticizing....STOP!

So if you haven't figured it out yet, my perspective is what it always is...DO YOU! Whatever that is; and you can best be assured that I'm gonna DO ME!

Don't forget, I want to know what you think, what your typical death of a relationship mourning time period is, and when you decide to get back in the game how you go about it....ease in, jump in with two feet and sink up to your neck, or dive in head first and let it flow!

Why I LOVE, Love, love BLOGGING!

Today, while strolling down Ladylee's street, I bumped into an old friend! I can't even tell you how happy I was to see her again; and though I've never actually met her in person nor have I ever actually heard her speaking voice, believe me when I say I could not have been more happy to see her there if we had grown up right next door to each other! Bumping into Chele over on Ladylee's street like that made me realize how much I LOVE, Love, love blogging and what it brings to my life.

Over at Ladylee's, in the last week I have empathized with her over the relationship that she and her father have failed to enjoy to this point in their lives, learned a lil' sumthin' sumthin' about being more dedicated to my writing endeavors, and just had a plain old good time with her and her peeps!

I went from Ladylee's place over to the new space Chele now occupies. There I found that I could indeed hear her TRUE VOICE once again and I realized with glee that the more things stay the same the more they seem to change and I was sooooooooooooo glad.

After I left Chele's, I decided to stop by Diva's and found her there loving her some Scribe as always! The Diva has decided to accept a very worthwhile challenge, one that challenges her to encourage her husband every day and to pray for him with his knowledge every single day. "What a worthwhile and noble thing to do!", is what I found myself thinking. I was impressed if not surprised knowing how very much the Diva and Scribe love each other and cherish their marriage. Not married myself nor involved in a serious relationship currently, I quickly copied the link to this page on her blog to send to my BFF in the hopes that she would choose to follow the Diva's lead and pray for her own husband.

Traveling by blog helps me to get a more clear picture of what good looks like when it comes to really significant other material. From the stories the Diva shares about Scribe to the amazing discovery that REAL MEN DO TALK AND THEY CAN WRITE (will wonders never cease) that hanging out with brothers like That Johnson Boy, Luke Cage, and James Manning elucidated, I believe that I have been more capably equipped to choose better for myself in the future.

Stopping by the ATL over the last couple of days, I found Fergie (whose smile was a gift from the beautiful pair of eyes in the collage above) and Nikki at the Infinite Ink (hands down the best photographer around....check out her gallery) both slightly disgruntled over differing issues. Fergie took issue as do I with this whole idea of cloned animals being used to perpetuate the food supply in America with no mandates for identifying the food products as having been derived from cloned animals. Nikki on the other hand was commenting on the increasing practice of overlaying Dr. Martin Luther King's speeches (and our heritage) over popular music a practice which in my opinion in some situations diminishes the importance of these speeches and desensitizes many to Dr. King's tremendous contributions to society.

From the ATL I went to Charlotte for some Serenity and then took a quick jaunt up to see Safa where tranquility and peace always await me.

In their own unique way, each of the bloggers or their representatives pictured above as well as scores of others who have not been displayed or mentioned here today broaden my horizons over and beyond any geography I would ever be able to travel even if someday I were to win the POWERBALL. From each of the bloggers I read, I find I take away something of value. In some cases it is a thought I never had before, an idea I might never have gotten around to conceptualizing, or a joke that brings a smile to my face I might otherwise have missed experiencing. In other cases, I have been helped to face difficult situations in my own life, I have been given the insight to better understand myself and others, and I have been given the gift of helping someone else to better understand themselves. In all cases, I feel like after a very short while passes with me making regular visits, I am received like I am a long-lost and cherished relative who is happily being welcomed home again! That my friends is love and as most of you know and Luther Vandross and Gregory Hines sang (bless their dear departed hearts),

There's Nothing Better Than Love!

So, this post is a tribute to all of you bloggers who have contributed to my life's happiness in ways most of you will never truly know. I want you ALL to know whether you are mentioned by name or not and whether or not there was an available image of you I could steal from your blog (ROSE and DP!) or not, you are all family to me. I will be forever indebted to each and every one of you for all that you have brought to my life and all that you continue to bring each day. By some miracle, you all always seem to be here blogging away about whatever it is I need to read, learn, know....just when I need to read, learn, or know it....

AND THAT IS WHY I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE BLOGGING!

2007....The Year In Review

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008!

WOW! Just like that, another year gone. Realizing it has been quite some time since I've been heard from around these parts, I doubt if anyone besides me will ever read any of what I write today. That doesn't matter though as I feel the absolute need to re-cap what has been a critically life-changing year in my life so that I can re-visit it in the future just to reinforce how very far I have travelled from where the year 2007 took me.

Without question, I don't ever recall having lived through a year that was quite like the year 2007 turned out to be for me. Though most people in my shoes would say that 2007 was a "bad year", I happen to believe that any year in which I am blessed to inhale and exhale qualifies as a good year. The picture at the beginning of this post is one of me presenting my Grandmother the "Mother of the Millenium" award on behalf of my family. I chose to use this particular picture on this post because I feel that I too deserve an award for having navigated all the trials that came into my life with 2007 without losing the me that I love for long.

The year began as one of the happiest I have ever known as I was happily in love with the person with whom I believed I would spend the rest of my life. It seems impossible now that I ever believed him to be "THE ONE" as he turned out to be everything BUT what he represented himself to be. Unfortunately, the unraveling of this relationship defined much of 2007 for me and thus the year will always be remembered as one of the most pain-filled years I've ever lived through. I had my only true experience with betrayal, and it was like nothing I've ever experienced. Though I have typically been involved in long-term, deeply emotional relationships, no other break-up ever took me out of my game like this one did; and for the first time in my life, I felt that I would have been better off never having known the person with whom I was involved. Following a couple attempts to make things work out and to convince my "other half" to try being honest with everyone involved (himself included), I finally came to the realization that I was not dealing with a person who had any personal integrity nor sense of responsibility for anyone else's feelings other than his own. After a great deal of soul searching, I took the necessary steps to end the situation; it came down to saving the relationship or saving my sanity as I found myself faltering for the first time ever at everything including being the best mother I could be to my son and excelling at work.

The deepest depression I've ever experienced followed, making me question myself at every turn. I could not understand how I could have so severely misjudged the character of someone I had known and loved for so terribly long...more than 20 years. Even worse, for a time I didn't feel that I knew who I was. Never before, and hopefully never again if I am as blessed as I have always believed myself to be, will I ever allow any outside influence to make me feel the way this person left me feeling about myself. Described virtually since birth as a person with the highest possible level of intrinsic self-esteem and mountainous self confidence, I didn't trust myself to decide what I wanted to eat for dinner. Thankfully, I was never alone as GOD as HE always does, was standing guard over me.

Looking back at some of the posts I wrote on this blog during my lowest points, I am amazed by the depths of what I was feeling. However, as always GOD sent his ANGELS to pull me through. Angels named Ryan, Angie, Ladylee, DJ Diva, Jackie, Mama and a host of others rescued me. Some of my angels were aware of what they were doing, while others without knowing it were being sent to help me get through, over, or around obstacles they might not even have known existed.

Though I stopped writing here after awhile because I was worrying the people who love me and read this blog more than I was helping myself, I began a new blog for Ryan's football team which turned out to be just the ticket. I threw myself into my son's football season and found that what always holds true held true; focusing on something other than myself and what I was going through made all the difference.

I have said it before and I'll repeat it here.....the best gift I have ever been given, is the gift of my son Ryan. He will never know how many times he and he alone has saved my life! I worked with a group of senior football moms to coordinate the support activities for the Varsity football team this season. I had the time of my life as my son's team went 6-4 which though not as exciting for some as last year when they went all the way to the state championship game, was a blast for the team as well as me. I worked with students at the school to increase the school spirit around the football team and with the help of the student body, helped to lift team morale when the team was faced with a three game losing streak after winning the first game of the season against a perennial state powerhouse. With our help, the team fought back and pulled themselves out of a slump that might have killed the will of a lesser team. My memories of my son's last season of high school football are something that I will cherish forever. I know this precious time in my son's life has made the wonderful bond my son and I have always shared even stronger, as I became a major part of his football experience.

The last two months of the year have restored me to more than my former self. As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....". I have a refreshed outlook on my life. I once again feel the joy of the blessings that have always been bestowed upon me; even during those times that I felt I had nothing good going for myself.

I have even decided to go back to sporting my natural hair instead of continuing to perm and process it with the multitude of chemicals I have used over the years up to now. Perm-free since September first 2006, I have finally gotten to the point that all of the relaxed hair has grown out and/or been cut from my head. As my mother began with the "press and curls" when I was 5 or 6 years old and moved on to perms around the time I was twelve, I like most black women in America have no true recollection of what it was like to care for my OWN natural hair texture. I have been pleasantly suprised by how much I find myself revelling in my own natural hair textures (of which my head has about four). I plan to continue to care for it without the aid of the harsh chemicals that I believe have caused it to become thin and unhealthy. Other than that, my plan is to allow it to

(Sharon's natural hair....January 1, 2008)

"do what it do"!

I am definitely stronger and more importantly, I am grateful. I am grateful that even in the face of losing that which I most desired, I learned that I am NEVER alone and that I will always have the blessing of those who truly love me to pull me through whatever hardships I am asked to face. I am grateful that the joy for life and the sheer happiness I have always felt as I awaited whatever is next for me has returned even though there was a time when I never thought it would. Most of all, I am grateful that in HIS infinite wisdom, GOD chose me who was strong enough to come through this year instead of someone else who was not. I would not wish what I experienced on my worst enemy, but I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in myself for having found my way to the other side of it all.

Like all years do, 2007 has quickly evaporated, and with it I have sent all of the bad feelings I experienced while it was here. I am excited and hopeful as 2008 shows me its beautiful face and all of the wonderful adventures it has in store for me. No matter what happens, the silver lining is (and of course there's always a silver lining ;) that if I didn't know it before I know for certain now that

I AM ONE PHENOMENAL WOMAN!!!

(Sharon on New Years Eve December 31st, 2007 ready to ring in 2008 in style!)

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME!

That's No Boy...That Man Is My Son!

When I was 25 years old I had no idea that the single most important thing that would ever happen to me in my lifetime had already happened. My son Ryan was born in November 1989, three months before my own 25th birthday. Now of course I knew that this was a big event, but could I possibly have imagined how big? No way! Obviously with a new baby comes change. I'm not talking about the changes that come with having a baby, I'm talking about the way a woman, particularly a self-reliant, independent thinking, got it all together, motivated woman such as I believed myself to be can change. I've heard it said many times that God does not make mistakes. That notwithstanding, I was positive that God (not I) had made a tragic mistake on the day I discovered I was pregnant. Fortunately for us all and me especially, life creates many opportunities for us to learn that it is a really good thing that we are not God. Thankfully, contrary to our own wishes sometimes, we don't rule the world; because I shudder when I think of all I would have been giving up if I had had it in my power to change the result of that pregnancy test.

As the years went by and Ryan grew up, I found that there were many things I didn't know about myself let alone the world. Being Ryan's Mom taught me to stop and smell the roses, a skill I've tried to pass on to him. Before Ryan, though I believed myself to be a cool cookie, I stressed over just about everything. After Ryan, I learned that there are so many more important things than whatever it was that had me "upset" at one point or another. I was able to go with the flow so much better. I'm sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that having this incredible person in my life changed everything for the better. No matter how hard I think about it, I can find no down side to being his Mom. This baffled me for a long time as I believe every cloud has a silver lining so the reverse has to be true as well. I have reconciled this discrepancy by accepting that the fact that the silver lining that is Ryan has no accompanying cloud is the exception that is necessary to prove the rule.

Today was the first day of Ryan's senior year in high school. Damn! where does the time go? My sweet little baby who used to be unable to dunk on his Little Tykes basketball goal now is 6'2" tall and weighs 280 pounds. He is a Varsity football player playing both Offensive guard and Nose Tackle. He is researching colleges and moving at the speed of light towards the day when he will make that first real step towards a life that is all but totally independent of mine. A part of me feels a sense of loss at the impending severing of the "unbilical cord" that though cut at his birth has continued to connect us as he has grown up. A bigger part of me however feels a greater sense of pride than I ever thought was possible. I feel pride that he has turned out to be an even better person than I anticipated. I feel pride because of the role I had in helping him become the person he is. Mostly, I feel pride because even though he was raised almost single-handedly by a woman whose father died when she was only nine years old, my son is no longer a boy, he is a MAN; and a damned good MAN too if I do say so myself!!

525600 Minutes...A Year in the Life (Part One)

By nature I am an upbeat, happy-go-lucky, optimistic kinda person. Even so, sometimes bad things happen to me. More often though, GREAT things happen to me. I believe that we get what we expect out of life, so I guess according to that view one could say that great things happen to me because that is exactly what I anticipate having happen to me. I don't know, maybe it is a "which came first chicken or the egg" type of phenomena; in either event, I don't really believe it is important to know why or even how it happens this way as long as it does happen.


Anyway, this approach to life serves me well and makes it easily possible for me to get through the rough patches in my life. At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna, I have been known to live and give the following advice when I or someone I love is dealing with the lowest points in life:

"I know this is hard. I wish I could change that but I can't. However, try this....Think back to one year ago today and try to remember what you were doing, how you felt, and what the major focus in your life was. Now, imagine this date one year from now and try to imagine what you will be doing, how you will feel, and what the major focus in your life will be. Nine times out of ten, a year ago you were not caught up in whatever it is that has you down today; and more than likely a year from now, what you are going through today will be a distant memory. In a mere 525600 minutes, you might have new problems to replace this one, you may have found your way through the cloud that is this problem and be basking in the silver lining inside of it, or you may even have discovered a completely new and unrelated joy. Either way, you won't ALWAYS be caught up in this or feel the way you do right now, and that in and of itself is THE BLESSING."

The last calendar year has been so incredibly pivotal in my life, that I thought I would spend some time reflecting on it and the wondrous impact it has had on my life as well as the lives of those with whom I come in contact. This may take a few posts, but I'll start with the thing for which I am most grateful to have been a part of in the last year.

A year or so ago I wrote the post you will find here. I was deeply caught up in my concern for the health of my oldest brother, and in an effort to make light of the situation, I created the "Top 10 List". . . I remember receiving so many compliments because I was giving my brother a kidney and thinking, "Who wouldn't give their brother a kidney if they could? What's the big deal?" Today, 525600 minutes (give or take a few hundred minutes or so) later, so many thoughts are racing through my head as I reflect back to that time. My brother and I checked into the hospital for his kidney transplant a year ago yesterday. I remember the week before because I was frantically trying to make sure my son, house, and life were in order just in case things did not go as I knew they would. I was NOT afraid; I just wanted to be careful and make sure my bizness was handled just in case. I EXPECTED things to go well and they did. Scratch that, they went phenomenally! And now, 525600 minutes later, my brother's health is no longer my major focus as it was a year ago; yet, I believe it does warrant an update on this blog because so many of you were an integral part of the journey right along with us last year.


My brother had his last dialysis exactly a year ago today, the morning of our surgeries. Typically, it can be anywhere from 6 months to a year before a transplanted kidney begins to function; thus, many transplant patients continue to require dialysis for some time even after transplantation. This was NOT what we expected to have happen in my brother's case; we prayed that his kidney would work as soon as possible. That was what we expected and it was the outcome following my brother's transplant. His new kidney worked immediately upon being transplanted into his body as if it had been there all along. Like I said, you get what you expect.


Last week, my brother called me with great news, his kidney is still functioning wonderfully. So well in fact that the trips to the doctor he has been required to make every 3 months since our surgeries, have now been decreased to twice yearly appointments. Additionally, the weekly blood tests that have been necessary every Saturday since the week following the surgery (to certify that his body was not rejecting the kidney) have now been reduced to once a month. My brother is living the normal, happy life he deserves and planning to go for the first time on our next family vacation cruise in 2008.


From the moment my brother first became ill, I knew intuitively I would help him. I expected my kidney to be a good match; it was. I expected to be able to undergo the surgery and come through it with no residual complications; I did. I expected my brother to be able to go back to living a normal life again after the surgery; he has exceeded every expectation I ever had relative to this. I'll say it again, you get what you expect.


Great expectations are a wonderful thing. I have great expectations. I can have great expectations because of one thing: prayer and faith. I know some of you sticklers are saying "That's two things", and that is where you would be WRONG. They are one thing because neither works without the other. I have faith in my prayers and I pray faithfully; because of this,

I have GOD's permission not only to have Great Expectations,

but also to expect them to come true!