I'm In A New York State Of Mind...

I know it has been quite a while since you all have heard from me and the only thing I can say is that I have been on the move for the last month. I went to San Francisco over Halloween on business, and upon returning from that trip, I immediately began preparing for my long awaited family cruise which was just around the corner as our departure date was November 21st. That trip was an absolute blast, and I will be blogging about it as well as sharing pictures and video when I have the time to do so during my Christmas break from work. After our family cruise, I was home for exactly one week during which I was sick the entire time only working 1.5 days over the course of the week. The next Sunday, I had to depart for New Jersey on business for the week and having made my travel arrangements months earlier, I had the bright idea to extend the trip through the weekend so that I could spend some time in New York.

The week in New Jersey was productive even though I was still not recovered from my illness of the previous week AND I developed an ear infection while there. By Friday of that week, all I wanted to do was to go home and sleep in my own bed but in my infinite wisdom, I had extended my trip and one of my Blog BFFs had agreed to provide me with shelter while I got to know her city over the weekend so I was pretty much locked in so to speak.

You all have heard me say what I am about to say next before....THANK GOD that HE and not I get to decide what I will or won't do. If I had been able to have my way, I would not have stayed the weekend in New York. I just wanted to go home and go to bed but I could not...GOD and NYC were not having that!

I had the best time ever and I am so grateful for the experience. I got to see NYC in ways I had never seen her before and she was graceful enough to allow me to become a part of her. I made amazing new friends (I love you Dari and Robert), did the tourist thang....Rockefeller Plaza and Bryant Park YOU ROCK, met friends for drinks at the tres chic Greek restaurant KELLARI and dined in diners where breakfast was served 24 hours a day...oh so New York, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, got my spoken word on at the very historic and perfectly representative of what a New York Jazz Club should be, St. Nick's Pub...located on Harlem's famed Sugarhill!!!!

BEFORE I FORGET....let me just say that never in the history of the world and visits was there EVER a better hostess than Ms. Cap City! In every conceivable way, she made me feel more welcomed than I do even at my own home! She made ME and MY WISHES, DESIRES, WHATEVER her priority for the entire weekend in addition to driving all the way to New Jersey and back just to facilitate my visit. I owe her more than I will ever be able to repay, and here and now I want to make one thing forever clear....Cap City will always have a place to lay her head in my home!!! Thank you again my sistah....I will never forget my New York or YOU!!!

So if you are so inclined, please flip through my Smilebox and join me in my NEW YORK STATE OF MIND!!!

Make a Smilebox photobook

Passion and Desire Baby....

It was less than a year ago, that I first kinda met my real-life [well "virtual real-life"] romantic couple idols....my virtual friends Ali and Zay.

You see, though I have yet to meet either of them face to face and have as of yet never even spoken with the Ali half of this amazing lovers equation, their love story is one that I treasure and place right up there with those of the greats such as Romeo and Juliet, Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, and Thomasine and Bushrod!

I met Zay via the blogosphere, and through him I learned of Ali and his over-arching love for her. If you knew him, even if you only knew him through his blog, you would know of his passion for his Ali for he expressed it effortlessly through his poetry there:

She Used Me

She used my brush to paint a masterpiece on the canvas in her belly
Delicate strokes applied in living color within her flesh
She used my pen to write a novel on the pages of her thighs
A manuscript to be read aloud over and over
She used my marker to write a label across her chest
My name in big bold glistening letters
She used my pillar to support her fantasies
Until I made each one come true
She used my key to unlock her inner self
To be the woman of my dreams
She used my ruler to measure our love
Inch by inch as it grew

She yearned to give me her living heart
Even as it beat within her chest but
Her life is much too precious
So she gave me the key
To it instead

If you could hear the passion in his voice when he speaks of her or the fierce protectiveness that comes through the phone lines whenever he feels that she is in any way threatened by anything, then you would know what it is that I am talking about when I say I can only pray that one day a man [as amazing and in touch with himself as my friend Zay is] will feel that way about me.

Never having actually spoken with Ali, I've heard her voice and the passion it carries for Zay as well via the blogsphere. A visit to Zay's blog before it was closed would have allowed you to witness hauntingly beautiful photography of Ali such as the one I stole up above. Just stop and take a look at that photo for a second will you; even though you can see less than half of Ali's beautiful face, what does what you can see say to you? To me, it says this is a woman in love who is passionately at peace and happily enveloped in the love of the man with whom GOD has gifted her.

A deeper dive into Zay's blog would have led you to this photo and this anecdote about Ali in which her feelings for Zay are painfully clear....

[There are absolutely no words to express how
privileged I feel to be loved as strongly, trusted as completely, let in as deeply as how
Ali loves me, trusts me and let’s me in. The photo above was taken on my first trip to
Jamaica. While Ali and I were together I was very surprised to see her crying. I mean
we were having the most wonderful time in the world and there she was crying. I
asked what was wrong and without looking at me she just said in that soft voice of
hers. “I know you’re not leaving until tomorrow, but I miss you already.” ]
*******************
- as told by Zay of A Lover's Dream

as well as these comments from Zay which demonstrate that he knows exactly where he stands with this woman....

Bad...
Being madly in love with a woman in another country
Good...
The absolute certainty she gives me that she is just as crazy about me. All evidenced by her words, her actions, her sacrifices, and the incredible efforts she puts out to always make me feel that I am the most important person in her life.
Bad...
She lives in Jamaica.
Good...
She lives in Jamaica ;-) 7 trips in 2007. Some people in blogland be hatin' but I still got mad love for ya'll LOL ;-) Besides, very soon she will be here with me and there wont be any more Jamaica trips for a while.

See why these two are my romantic idols? When at longlast I finally grow up and fall in love, I wanna be like my friends Ali and Zay! In my mind, their names could just as easily have been Passion and Desire because to me, that is exactly what their love represents.

As Zay said in the post excerpted above, Ali was scheduled to be here with him very soon. Well blog friends, VERY SOON IS NOW and Ali should already have arrived if the weather and all else cooperated. Oh how I hope she is here so that my friend Zay will at long last have what he has wanted for so very long....his Ali! If indeed she is here, I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome her home and into the family she may not even know she has as of yet.

Ali, please know that though you may feel very far from your own family and what has been home to you for as long as you can remember, you have a home and a family here as well that is looking forward to welcoming and embracing you with outstretched arms. Please feel free to think of me as the long-lost sister you've only just now learned of and know that I am here whenever and if ever you need me and even if you find you don't need me at all.

You have given my friend Zay a joy and a light that I can HEAR in his voice, and a woman capable of giving a light that one can hear when it can't be seen, is definitely a woman I would feel privileged and honored to get to know.

Congratulations to you both, Ali and Zay; and please accept this gift from me via my gurl Jilly from Philly as the very first time I heard this a month or so ago, it brought the two of you to mind. Blessings and continued love to you and the beautiful, black family you will create together.

She's Baaaaaaaackkkkkkkk....well, almost ;)

Hey blog fam!

Sorry for the long absence, but as I stated in my last post, the last couple of weeks were a beast! I am sitting in the airport at Chicago Midway as I type while awaiting my DELAYED plane which is scheduled to have me back in The Lou by 3pm this afternoon. I am not overly confident about my chances, so I thought I might post this quick blog to pass the time as I wait.

The party was a blast though Mother Nature got a bit pissy with us and tried to rain us out. I don't know what her problem was since she was sent a gold engraved invitation inviting her to attend. No matter though cause as y'all know, Ms. Just Write Now don't let a little Mother Nature piss stop no show! I have been too busy with business travels the last week to upload my pictures or to create my movie but as soon as I do, they will be shared here along with all the details of the festivities. However, I would like to thank my blog bro Mega Rich and his spectacularly beautiful family for gracing my affair with their presence ;)

I know I've been off the radar for a bit and my apologies to all of my regular reads for my failure to drop in and to comment. I find that I am so far behind with all of you super regular bloggers that I will never catch up if I comment. So though I will go back and catch up on everything I missed by reading the old posts, I will probably reserve my comments for the most recent posts so that I can get back on track as soon as possible...unless that is I find I simply can't help myself ;b

Even so, when I finally had the time to get online and do me instead of "The Man's bidding" last night, I found my gurls had started THE PUSSY CHATS! Now why they wanna go and do that?! I got caught up over there in a matter of an hour or less and simply couldn't refrain from adding my own two cents once I found my personal invitation to do so! You can see what I had to say here, but there are so many other things you've thought but never had the guts to say all over the place that you simply must stop by whether you have a pussy of your own or not! So at this time, I'd like to give a huge thank you to my blog sistahs Lovebabz and CapCity for RELEASING THE CATS OVER AT THE CHATS! Y'all are my idols!

Well, they are claiming my plane is here so I'd better wrap this now. I'll be back soon and I look forward to stopping by all of y'alls places soon so gone and get the margaritas ready!

What? Stop Blogging...What do you mean stop blogging?!

A week or so ago, I was reading the blog of one of my very favorite bloggers and real life friends the infamous Ladylee, when I came upon this disclaimer:

"Warning: This a long post, maybe the longest I've ever written. I do that for a reason: I know very few will read it, so I can just flow freeeeely. That's cool, because number one, I'm not a "comment whore", and number two, 99.99999% of what I write is for ME."

I was stopped cold by this statement:

"...I'm not a "comment whore"..."

and of course, me being me I found myself wondering..."AM I A COMMENT WHORE?"

I have been blogging here on blogger since November 2005, and in that time, I have written posts that seemed to inspire a huge amount of conversation and debate and others which received not a peep of a comment out of anyone; if indeed anyone actually read them at all. If I am completely honest with you and myself, I'd have to admit that on the occasions that a post I wrote generated a lot of discussion I was estatic. However, when on the other hand one of my posts appeared to have fallen upon deaf ears based on the fact that it received ZERO comments, I typically find that I am somewhat disappointed.

When I step back and ask myself "Why it is that I blog?", the answer is always the same...I blog because I love writing and I love writing whether or not others respond to what I write. Nevertheless, at the risk of revealing my egotism, I also blog because I CRAVE the feedback some of my posts receive from those of you who honor me with your comments.

These thoughts led me to another question..."Under what conditions would I STOP blogging and if I did, would I actually delete this blog?" Now this is a question I can easily answer...I cannot conceive of a situation that would cause me to stop blogging, and if I ever did, the answer to the question "Would I delete this blog?" is NOT NO BUT HELL TO THE NAWL!! Though I actually know bloggers (through blogging) who have deleted what I thought were absolutely amazing blogs, for me that would be tantamount to amputating one of my limbs myself or killing my own child and I simply could not do it. I sometimes have nightmares about Blogger going mad as it has in the past and inadvertently deleting my blog...this is one of the few things that might keep me awake at night if I weren't such an excellent sleeper ;)

Over the past year, blogging has essentially saved my life as I dealt with the ups and downs of a relationship and its end. Admittedly, there were times when I wished I had not written some of the things I've written and at times I have even considered deleting a post or two, but always the rational side of me asks myself "Why do that?" After all, what is, is and what happened, happened...deleting the post that tells the story doesn't change the fact that it ACTUALLY happened so what would be the point of deleting the post.

I am so grateful to this little blog of mine because it has given me a venue in which I could let this little light of mine shine, shine, shine and believe me, I do my best to let it SHINE!

So now I ask YOU,

• Does the fact that I am somewhat disappointed when a post I write receives no comments make me a "comment whore"?
• Do you consider yourself to be a "comment whore"?
• Would you continue to blog if you NEVER received another comment on any post you write?
• In the event that you ever decided to stop blogging would you delete your blog?

Let me hear from you if you don't mind too terribly as this is something about which I am very curious. Also, before I go, please believe me when I say that "This is NOT the "comment whore" in me trying to solicit more comments!" LOL ;)

Twins Re-Connected By Blog ;)

Comment | Copy This

Mirror Re-Image by Sharon J. for Lovebabz

At the core of you I recognized me
Significant and glorious and fully the “I”, I strive to be
Choosing love over all else especially fear
Your voice speaks the words my brain whispers in my ear.

Your smile reflects the joy of the life I’ve been gifted
Your heart plays the rhythms on which my spirit is lifted
From your words I gather nourishment again and again
So similar are parts of our journeys, I call you my Twin.

My sibling unmet, unseen, technically unheard
We’re related by blog, by hearts, and by words
Come hell or high water I know you are there
Strengthening me, steadying me, with your soul--so rare.

Geography notwithstanding we’re connected, you and I
Not born of the same parents, the laws of genetics we defy
More alike than different yet different all the same
Lovebabz you amaze me, and thus I speak your name.

I speak it when lonely, feeling lost, or afraid
I speak it when at last into night the day fades
I speak it in exclamation when so filled with happiness I nearly burst
I speak your name because you felt all of these things first.

“How can this be?”, when I’m the older I believe
Your wisdom predates your birth and from GOD it was received
You bring knowledge from the ancestors which you generously share
Teaching us all about love and not being afraid to show we care.

You are fearless about love and your message is heard
It fortifies us and encourages us to spread the good word
Until from my lips to his ears and so on from there
This wonderful chorus becomes a new prayer.

A prayer that is being answered in you and in me
A prayer that is being realized in everything that we see
In our children, our friends, and all the loves of our lives
A prayer that began with you and now lives and now thrives.

Changing the unchangeable is what you do so well
Each and every one of us benefits from the truths that you tell
New understandings help us all to grow [as you say] in love
And though this is your birthday WE received in YOU, a special gift from above.

At the core of you I recognized me
Significant and glorious and fully the “I”, I strive to be!

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Forget everything else I’ve ever said, “I wanna be YOU when I grow up!