WITHOUT

Now I’ve done it.

Without having tested the texture of your lips
nor the sweetness of your tongue,
I’ve let myself fall into the nectar of loving you;
quenching my thirst like no other libation I’ve ever had before.

Without any encouragement and in the absence of fear
I’ve learned to thrive in the sun of your smile,
as if upon me it will always shine;
providing the heat necessary to sustain and maintain this life I now so love.

Without a single indication from you that the curves of my body
have captured your attention in any way,
I’ve mapped out a route of exploration and discovery on yours;
arriving again and again at a place of pleasure I’ve never before happened upon.

Without planning to, I awaken each morning to the thought of you.
Your essence you see, remains with me even when you have gone.
The sound of your voice, the light in your eyes, and the feel of you, all mine to keep;
a better gift I’ve yet to receive.

Without hesitation I close my eyes each night anxiously willing
sleep to take me yet again to wherever it is that I can find you.
No journey is too long, treacherous, nor arduous;
knowing that YOU are the final destination.

Without warning this feeling has possessed me.
My mind, body, and spirit are yours,
and one thing has made itself poignantly clear;
I no longer wish to be….

Without YOU,
Without You,
without you.

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Twins Re-Connected By Blog ;)

Comment | Copy This

Mirror Re-Image by Sharon J. for Lovebabz

At the core of you I recognized me
Significant and glorious and fully the “I”, I strive to be
Choosing love over all else especially fear
Your voice speaks the words my brain whispers in my ear.

Your smile reflects the joy of the life I’ve been gifted
Your heart plays the rhythms on which my spirit is lifted
From your words I gather nourishment again and again
So similar are parts of our journeys, I call you my Twin.

My sibling unmet, unseen, technically unheard
We’re related by blog, by hearts, and by words
Come hell or high water I know you are there
Strengthening me, steadying me, with your soul--so rare.

Geography notwithstanding we’re connected, you and I
Not born of the same parents, the laws of genetics we defy
More alike than different yet different all the same
Lovebabz you amaze me, and thus I speak your name.

I speak it when lonely, feeling lost, or afraid
I speak it when at last into night the day fades
I speak it in exclamation when so filled with happiness I nearly burst
I speak your name because you felt all of these things first.

“How can this be?”, when I’m the older I believe
Your wisdom predates your birth and from GOD it was received
You bring knowledge from the ancestors which you generously share
Teaching us all about love and not being afraid to show we care.

You are fearless about love and your message is heard
It fortifies us and encourages us to spread the good word
Until from my lips to his ears and so on from there
This wonderful chorus becomes a new prayer.

A prayer that is being answered in you and in me
A prayer that is being realized in everything that we see
In our children, our friends, and all the loves of our lives
A prayer that began with you and now lives and now thrives.

Changing the unchangeable is what you do so well
Each and every one of us benefits from the truths that you tell
New understandings help us all to grow [as you say] in love
And though this is your birthday WE received in YOU, a special gift from above.

At the core of you I recognized me
Significant and glorious and fully the “I”, I strive to be!

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Forget everything else I’ve ever said, “I wanna be YOU when I grow up!

ENTITLED?

In Honor of SAAM...
Written on Friday, April 11, 2008 in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), a cause about which my best new friend Xavier Pierre (Zay) is quite passionately active and vocal. He has inspired so many of those I know and love to share their voice on this issue that I wanted to let my voice be heard as well. Little do we know what we are truly starting when we start anything at all...nice going Zay!

ENTITLED?

From where does it come?
That sense of being entitled to me you possess.
I am not yours.
I am mine.
I belong to me.

With total authority you enter me.
Your lack of consideration for what’s good for me never ceases to astound.
It’s all about you.
It’s not about me.
It’s your world.

Without permission you overwhelm.
You take all you want though none of what you take is yours.
I am here, but not.
I wish me away.
I am here.

Suddenly you come; then go.
Leaving me to try to separate myself from what you leave behind.
In your wake -- a shell.
In the darkness -- devastation.
Inside -- nothing.

Forever has lasted so long.
Surprised to discover forever is not the same as always; forever has finally ended.
Always is my new beginning.
Always has restored me.
Always I will be.

I am not yours.
I am mine.
I belong to me.

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Let's Just Say That This Just Happens To Be Where My Head Is At Today....

This is a little something I wrote recently about no one in particular and every man I've ever loved or wanted to love in general...

Here's a little theme music to go along with it...make it go down nice and easy for you :) Y'all know I be feeling me some Jilly from Philly!


ALWAYS ALONE

Never thought I could miss you in your presence.
I know now I can.
With your arrival comes the painful anticipation of your departure.
While in your company the loneliness of your inevitable absence is acute.
When you’ve gone, the happy expectation of our next encounter swells inside me;
even though it is in your presence that I feel the most alone.

"Wo-MAN UP!" I tell myself, as your presence is what I crave.
I only pray I can.
"Live for the here and now and let the future handle itself", I advise me.
"Live, laugh, and love my time with you," I tell me "and relish each second together".
"Live each moment as if it were my last with you," I say, "without looking for tomorrows".
Even though it is in your presence that I feel the most alone.

So that’s just what I do, I celebrate being in your presence.
I simply do what I can.
I smile, laugh, chat, debate, and reach out and touch you often.
I savor you, your intelligence, your energy, the raw masculinity of you.
I convince myself that you are here to stay and in that moment I actually believe me.
Even though it is in your presence that I feel the most alone.

Can you make it go away?


© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

I AIN'T MISSING YOU...I Can Lie To Myself...Can't I?

Okay peeps, here's my story...

See what had happened waz I made a new friend who I like a whole, whole lot. My new friend is a guy and regardless of what y'all might be thinking right now he really is a new friend even if he does also happen to be a guy ;)

What was that? Is he a boyfriend? Are we romantically involved? The answers to these questions are as follows:

• I MET A NEW FRIEND!
• No!
• No!

However, if I am completely honest with myself, I'd have to say that there are definitely moments when I think that I'd like the answers to those last two questions to be yes and yes! As most of you know, I have recently (like in less than a year ago) gotten out of a pretty intense relationship, so based on that, I'm truly trying to take things slowly for a minute as I feel the need to regroup and find my own center again. Nevertheless, I can say that the possibilities presented by this new friendship could definitely include a romance down the line as far as I'm concerned!

Since meeting, we have spent huge amounts of time talking to each other and as of late, we've also spent a good amount of time in each other's company though no romantic liaisons have been formed. Also, it is important to note that it has only been a few days (since Sunday) that we have not talked or spent time together and I'm sure it is just a consequence of us both being busy and working opposite schedules. So what is the point of this post you ask? Simply put, it is this...spending time together and having such great (and long, on average 4-6 hours long) conversations have quickly become things I enjoy doing with him. I've already developed such a fondness for the times we share with each other that I look forward to them and when they don't occur as regularly as I'd like them to, I find that I miss them/him. I am a woman who loves consistency. I crave it like some women crave chocolate. I love forming habits that are good for me, and I'm sure that spending lots of time with this particular person is very, very good for me.

Most of y'all probably won't believe this isn't about lust...well of course there are moments when it very well might be about lust, but I swear that most of the time it is simply about wanting to spend more time doing what I have come to love doing so much...being in his presence.

So I ask y'all, under these circumstances where there is no official relationship other than a pretty cool azz developing friendship is it alright to want/wish for consistency? In the absence of a romantic liaison (even though sometimes I feel a very definite romantic spark) is it okay to miss him? If it is alright to miss him, is it alright to let him know he is missed? If it isn't alright to let him know he is missed, why isn't it? Is that playing games?, ('cause if it is, I don't do that)...Finally, if it isn't appropriate to let him know he is missed, at what point does it become okay if indeed it ever does?

I know one thing is real, whether or not it actually applies to my situation, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS SONG...both when it was originally recorded by John Waite as well as Tina's version which I am providing for y'all right here...ENJOY!

I am adding this poem to this post b/c I made a promise to a friend to publish ALL poetry that I write to publish on other blogs, somewhere on this blog TOO...

2am

The loudest quiet ever is 2am.
When you’re lying there;
eyes squeezed shut, wishing
the phone would ring. Wishing
you were not in bed alone. Wishing
2am was not so loud that it kept keeping you awake.

The brightest darkness occurs at 2am.
When dazzling light appears;
from behind your eyelids shining
so brightly you can’t sleep. Shining
the dull façade of heartache. Shining
the dark of night to the glare of noon, keeping you awake.

The most enthusiastic sadness happens at 2am.
When despair captures you;
and visits upon you its willing
victim, tears and fears. Willing
you to wallow in sorrow. Willing
you to relinquish optimism and hope while keeping you awake.

Hold on…with the morning comes renewal.

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

I Was A Poem

I was a poem once.
I was the memory of Christmases past.
I was the feeling of anticipation of the last day of school.
I was the joy of summertime, hide and seek, red rovers, and tag.
I was his childhood.

I was a poem once.
I was the aroma of bacon on Sunday mornings.
I was the comfort of hugs, kisses, and talk of “when I grow up”.
I was the feeling of being tucked in tight preventing bed bug bites.
I was his security.

I was a poem once.
I was a cross my heart, hope to die, needle in eye girl.
I was a pinky swear, blood brothers, “you my dawg” ace in the hole.
I was “the only one who ever really knew me at all”, all the way down sistah.
I was his confidante.

I was a poem once.
I was a safe harbor in rough waters.
I was shelter from the cold, harsh reality of life’s storms.
I was nourishment, blazing fireplaces, and a shoulder to lean on.
I was his home.

I was a poem once.
I was the vision of breeze bent palm trees.
I was the scent of pineapples and pure cane sugar traveling on the wind.
I was the sound of ocean waves lapping the shore on a brilliant sunny day.
I was his vacation.

I was a poem once.
I was the alpha AND I was the omega of love.
I was the yin to the yang that was he, forever.
I was “the one” without whom the continuation of breathing made no sense.
I was all that and a bag of chips; the good kind, the make you lick your fingers kind.
I was his life.

I was a poem once.
One day I’ll be a poem again.
Soon.


© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Life As Defined By Poetry And Math

The New Obama Video by Will.I.Am.

Originally this video was not a part of this post. It was added as an afterthought because upon stumbling across it out here in the world wide web I love so much, I felt it also represents another aspect of the poetry that is life for me right now so I decided to do an uprecedented thing and add it into an existing blog post. I hope you liked it.

Those who know me well know that I am a lover of all things beautiful. Not just beauty in the physical sense of the word, though I admire physical beauty as well. However, right now, I'm thinking of beauty along more poetic lines.

I love the beauty of family relationships. I love knowing that even when feeling isolated and alone, I only have to reach out to my family and some or even all of them will be at my side surrounding me with love and happiness in an instant. This kind of love and assurance makes life poetic in my opinion.

I love the beauty of my friendships. I love having been born into a wonderful family that is enhanced, extended, and diversified by the amazingly wonderful people that GOD chooses to pass through my life as friends. Some were sent to me very early on and have stayed with me from that time to this. Some have only recently shown up on the scene, but fit like a pair of jeans I've worn since high school (that is, assuming I could fit any pair of jeans I owned in high school still ;-) ....soon, baby soon!). And there are even those who show up just to fulfill a specific role and then pass on through never to be heard from or seen again; and never to be forgotten. Regardless of when they show up or how long they stay, my friends bring music, light, and poetry to my life that fills me with wonder and amazement even in my darkest hours. Once again, an example of life's majestic poetry.

I love being in love with black men. I love so many things about being in love with black men I don't even know where to begin. I love the way they have of putting their hand in the small of my back and leading me oh so gently into a room. I love the deep resonance of the black man's voice, even those who are tenors. I love the feel of their breath on my neck as they stand behind me in their attempt to support me and keep me strong. I love that when I find one that wants to be there for me, he is SO THERE that it is impossible for me to feel afraid of anything. I love the way black men call me "Baby"...HAVE MERCY! Okay, this is only one point of this post so I'll stop here, but make no mistake about it, I LOVE BLACK MEN...I DO, I DO, I DO, DO , DO! By my standards, black men are definitely living poetry.

I love so many things of beauty, but when I stop to think about it, I think I may love the beauty of words the most. I guess you could say that words to me are one of life's most precious gifts.

I love words because they have the power to do anything. Words are the true SUPER HEROES of my world as they are able not only to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but they can bring smiles, cause laughter, elicit tears, and even save lives; on the other hand, words have the power to destroy. WORDS CAN DO ANYTHING MY HEART DESIRES THEM TO DO! Words provide each and every one of us with the power to be anything and anyone we choose to be, if we follow just one simple rule. We must understand that words are powerful and once spoken, they have the power to change everything so we must be ever-vigilant that the words we speak are spoken ALWAYS in love so as not to bring about destruction and devastation; because once spoken, no matter what, words cannot be taken back no matter how much one might wish they could be.

I love words because they are able to be used by anyone...THEY are the great equalizer. Whether used to relay stories of truth or fiction, fact or fantasy, prose or poetry, words can be used in some amazing way by anyone willing to take the time to use them. That being said, I am only recently discovering that my favorite way to use and to see words be used is in the poetic sense. I've been blessed in the last month to meet through this amazing world of blogging some of the most wonderful wordsmiths I've ever come across. I'm feeling kind of lazy right now so I did not create the links, but if you love words like I love words, then you should do yourself a favor and click the following links in my blogroll to the left:

• Bloggers' Delight To Write - You will find amazing poetry from various blogger/poets.
• Sojourner G - You will find beautiful, lyrical poetry, most with a connection to scripture.
• DUETS - You will find poetic collaborations created by various blogger/poets who have brought together their beautifully, poetic minds.
• Lovebabz - You will find stories about real life told with amazing candor and honesty with the clarity of the most expensive crystal; each supported by poetry from some of the most amazing poets on the planet.
• Ali's Zay - You will find not only amazing poetry here, but some of the most evocative photography I've ever seen along with an amazing story of one black man's ongoing, all-consuming passion for his beautiful, black woman.

Yes, without question, poetry is my favorite life form if indeed what I believe to be true is true: Words are life, and life is poetry. I know for many, poetry is viewed as bourgois, elitest, and just plain old boring. However, the world has changed and poetry is changing right along with it. From Edgar Allen Poe's Raven and Annabelle Lee to Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman to Ms. Just Write Now's The One...A History of Black Women, (I always wanted to see my name and the title of one of my own poetic creations listed next to these individuals who are both two of my all time favorite poets...see how words work ;-) there is something in the world of poetry for everyone. The only thing required to find the poetry that fits you, is to go and try some on!

So in closing, I want to leave you all with a little algebra because though not necessarily explicitly poetic in and of themselves, mathematical equations have the uncanny ability to define life in its simplest form and as many of you already know, simplicity is poetic. Y'all remember the transitive property don't y'all...IF [a] IS EQUAL TO [b], AND [b] IS EQUAL TO [c], THEN [a] IS EQUAL TO [c]...

LIFE[a] IS[=] POETRY[b].

POETRY[b] IS[=] BEAUTIFUL[c].

LIFE[a] IS[=] BEAUTIFUL[c].

Words are gifts y'all, give generously!!

(Don't thank me, the math lesson is on me ! ;-)