Sunday, April 27, 2008

What? Stop Blogging...What do you mean stop blogging?!

A week or so ago, I was reading the blog of one of my very favorite bloggers and real life friends the infamous Ladylee, when I came upon this disclaimer:

"Warning: This a long post, maybe the longest I've ever written. I do that for a reason: I know very few will read it, so I can just flow freeeeely. That's cool, because number one, I'm not a "comment whore", and number two, 99.99999% of what I write is for ME."

I was stopped cold by this statement:

"...I'm not a "comment whore"..."

and of course, me being me I found myself wondering..."AM I A COMMENT WHORE?"

I have been blogging here on blogger since November 2005, and in that time, I have written posts that seemed to inspire a huge amount of conversation and debate and others which received not a peep of a comment out of anyone; if indeed anyone actually read them at all. If I am completely honest with you and myself, I'd have to admit that on the occasions that a post I wrote generated a lot of discussion I was estatic. However, when on the other hand one of my posts appeared to have fallen upon deaf ears based on the fact that it received ZERO comments, I typically find that I am somewhat disappointed.

When I step back and ask myself "Why it is that I blog?", the answer is always the same...I blog because I love writing and I love writing whether or not others respond to what I write. Nevertheless, at the risk of revealing my egotism, I also blog because I CRAVE the feedback some of my posts receive from those of you who honor me with your comments.

These thoughts led me to another question..."Under what conditions would I STOP blogging and if I did, would I actually delete this blog?" Now this is a question I can easily answer...I cannot conceive of a situation that would cause me to stop blogging, and if I ever did, the answer to the question "Would I delete this blog?" is NOT NO BUT HELL TO THE NAWL!! Though I actually know bloggers (through blogging) who have deleted what I thought were absolutely amazing blogs, for me that would be tantamount to amputating one of my limbs myself or killing my own child and I simply could not do it. I sometimes have nightmares about Blogger going mad as it has in the past and inadvertently deleting my blog...this is one of the few things that might keep me awake at night if I weren't such an excellent sleeper ;)

Over the past year, blogging has essentially saved my life as I dealt with the ups and downs of a relationship and its end. Admittedly, there were times when I wished I had not written some of the things I've written and at times I have even considered deleting a post or two, but always the rational side of me asks myself "Why do that?" After all, what is, is and what happened, happened...deleting the post that tells the story doesn't change the fact that it ACTUALLY happened so what would be the point of deleting the post.

I am so grateful to this little blog of mine because it has given me a venue in which I could let this little light of mine shine, shine, shine and believe me, I do my best to let it SHINE!

So now I ask YOU,

  • Does the fact that I am somewhat disappointed when a post I write receives no comments make me a "comment whore"?
  • Do you consider yourself to be a "comment whore"?
  • Would you continue to blog if you NEVER received another comment on any post you write?
  • In the event that you ever decided to stop blogging would you delete your blog?

Let me hear from you if you don't mind too terribly as this is something about which I am very curious. Also, before I go, please believe me when I say that "This is NOT the "comment whore" in me trying to solicit more comments!" LOL ;)


CapCity said...

HEY Sharon - i'm so used to talking to myself & writing for myself that I KNOW i'd continue to blog even if no one EVER came to visit! LOL! But, I DO LOVE when folk take the time to come by & whisper sweet thangs, U know;-).
And ALL of my blogs are still available - even if I don't visit them or update them. LOL! Sometimes I'll look at my own inactive blogs & realize that someone has left a message there! lol!
Gurl, do U & don't let others' opinions faze U - if u want comments GO GET 'em! LOL!

Lovebabz said...

I am always surprised that folks come and comment at my blog. When I first started I never responded to comments left on my post because I didn't know I was supposed to. Then I learned blog etiquette. I am however intrigued by the "comment whore" concept.

I do think about the end of my blog. I imagine at some point it will end or morph into something else. I have one other blog a political opinion blog...which I need to pay attention to.

Good post Sharon. I am thinking...

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

I think it's cool to enjoy comments because they can be inspiring, thought provoking, entertaining, etc....However, my hope is that I don't become a "comment whore" looking for validation or for vanity me the comments are conversations that I enjoy holla back! peace

Sharon said...

To the three of you who have graced me with your comments, "Thank you so very each are appreciated!" To those of you who stopped by here and withheld your comments just because I was woman enough to admit to a tiny bit of comment whoredom, y'all know y'all wrong for that ;)

No, for real though, I do appreciate the comments and just so as to alleviate any confusion, as much as I luv, luv, luv my commenters, there is ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE of a lack of comments leading to a day that I would choose to stop blogging. So if any of you think that you can get rid of me by not commenting, a word or two of advice:


I love all y'all, commenters and lurkers alike ;)

Natarsha said...

Hi! I found your blog through a friend of mine. It is very nice! And since this post is about commenting I thought that I would leave Take care!

Seoul to Soul

Rich said...

Ima ho, you know Ima ho, how do you know, because I told you so.


I was a comment whore until I got site meter and realized a lot of people read me, they just don't speak. I'm cool with that. I love to write, move the crowd if you will, but I don't know any writer who doesn't honestly want others to "feel them".

LadyLee said...

Awww Oldgirl... why you gotta put me out there like that!? I tell ya, big sisters know how to tease little sisters, don't they?

LOL!! Still love you anyway, homegirl!!

Please know that "Comment whore" is not my term. I first heard it at a At.lanta Wr.iter's club meeting. A very popular writer who has a very popular blog who gets upwards of 50,000 hits a day confessed to being the consummate "Comment whore". This intrigued us all, and she had to explain the whole concept, even to me, even though I was the only one who had a few years of blogging experience. That one would call themselves that... intrigued me. I didn't see anything wrong with it personally, but I thought wow... what a term it was. And I also thought, why would someone refer to themselves as such JUST because they love comments??? What's wrong with having people who love their blogs? WOW.

I don't think the fact that you get disappointed when a particularly good post of yours doesn't get any comments make you a comment whore. (Personally, I love all your posts.) You just think you had something noteworthy to share and want to hear from us. What's whorish about that?

But baby, it's better to be a comment ho then another type of ho... that's all I got to say about that.

LOL!!! LOL!!!!

*Ladylee slamming hand on desk repeatedly and laughing REAL hard*

Secondly, I don't consider myself to be a comment whore. I could care less who comments. I receive more personal email than comments, from people who don't want to comment. And you know how the lurking activity is. The problem becomes that the number of comments extrapolates out to your blog popularity, then wierd ish start happening like YOU START BLOGGING FOR YOUR COMMENTORS... Is that healthy? Or longlasting? Are you looking for validation? Hmm.

Not to mention, I have talked to bloggers who have gotten upwards of 50 comments a day, who slow down or stop because, get this: they have started blogging EXCLUSIVELY for the commentors and their blog becomes a chore, or God forbid, something they don't even recognize...

Do we want that? NO. At least I don't.

So, if you open your blog one day, and have a gazillion comments, and realize that you are not even writing about the things you want to write about...

Is that a good or bad thing? I'll let you decide.

Sharon, I don't think of you as a "comment whore". I think there is a huge difference between people who enjoy good convo back and forth between themselves and commentors and straight up "Comment fishing" gone waaaaay astray. I know you love it. Why shouldn't you? You have a wonderful range of commentors over here, who richly enhance your blogging experience. I for one enjoy reading your blog posts AND your commentors responses. All of it goes hand in hand. That's what I think. I like the fact that you have no ignorance going on over here, and your commentors are smart people. We are building communities here. I like all my commentors too. They add depth to the experience. DON'T GET IT TWISTED, SISTER! We sometimes need to hear a different perspective, etc... NOTHING wrong with that.

Yes ma'am, I would continue to blog if I NEVER receive another comment. My blog is for LadyLee. Period. The fact that we have commentors is a nice fringe benefit, kind of like the bonus we get on jobs. A good benefit, especially when the commentors always have something poignant to add to the conversation. Don't you agree?

I don't think I would ever delete my blog. Mainly because I write much for myself, and when I need motivation or an uplift, I go read a few things that I have posted. I think I was just in a tift because I found out someone I have isshas with was lurking on my blog, and I had to get my thoughts and feelings in order. But by the end of that 10 page post (girl, you know how longwinded-ed we both are), I decided that I love my blog, and wanted to keep it.

@All: I made that statement over on my blog for myself... It was in NO WAY an indictment of "comment whoredom". NOT A JUDGEMENT in the least. That is a term that I didn't conceive, but recently learned of from a high profile blogger. I only made that statement because I know people don't read long posts, and I was more concerned about writing THAT particular post that day, rather than be mindful of the number of commentors I would receive. (I get complaints about long posts. Hmm. I will continue to do them. To do anything less would be... should I say, something close to not being true to myself. And that is NOT a good look.)

So Sharon... be you, babes! Let's call it something different from comment whore if that makes you feel better... "Sharon... The Comment Lover". Yeah, that's hokey, but you know what I mean...

Do you, Oldgirl... Shoot from the hip, and write from your heart. Do anything different, and I'd have to come up to Saint Louis and wring your frickin' neck!!

I can't believe that ruffled your feathers, Ma!

Woo, woo, woo...

*Ladylee smoothing down Sharon's feathers*

LOL!! Call your girl!

chele said...

Dang! You and LadyLee are some long-winded folk!

Anyway, regarding being a comment whore, I think it all goes back to why one blogs. There's a distinction between trying to spark up a conversation and just expressing one's thoughts.

I'm just trying to get my thoughts down. I am not a whore by any stretch of the imagination. I have stopped blogging. I have deleted blogs. I would definitely blog if no one ever commented. Sometimes I just have things to say. I have had people send me emails about specific posts but they will never comment on the blog ... I prefer that, I think. To me, that means that something I said really touched someone in a special way.

DJ Diva said...

Hi Sharon...

I may not be a comment whore...but I am def a download one. I get way more downloads of my music mixes than comments on the post I put the mix on! Example: My Fast Prince Mix has been downloaded over 500 times...yet I have 10 comments on that post.

It's cool...but it's always nice when your blogging buddies leave a kind word.

CapCity said...

Sharon - was this your warning to us that you're going AWOL? Where u at? Tried to email u & it got kicked back... sending hugz & hoping u are somewhere having a GRAND time! ;-)

The Artist In Me said...

Hi Sharon! I have found comfort in blogging and those that I have met blogging. I like yourself, write for writing sake and as a platform to log some of my work. It is so therapeutic at the same time. However, I would be telling a lie if I said that I didn't look forward to reading others comments. Deep inside, I do believe we all desire to know what others are thinking about our craft or simply who we are as people.

With that said, I would still blog if no one ever commented, and I would not delete it if I decided to cease blogging. I am really into cataloging lifes moments and events. What better way to do it than on a machine that has the capability to store tons of information.

Be blessed!

Christoph Jenkins said...

Good stuff Sharon! I'ma comment when I come by because I appreciate comments too.

Oh btw, tag you're it. Check my latest blog post for details.

Mizrepresent said...

Hey Sharon, i really do enjoy getting comments from folks, and i know some folks are reading...but my blog is for me, it's therapeautic, the interaction with others has been eyeopening, it has made me laugh, cry, and rethink some things. It has been a blessing and a curse, and yet i don't believe i will ever stop...i'm just too dayum addicted! Hope all is well with you...wishing you a Happy Mothers Day!

Xavier Pierre Jr. said...

I have a dear friend in Malaysia who has been blogging continuously since November 2003. In all that time only a tiny handful of people have EVER comented on her blog, and none have done so in the past couple of years except me. Imagine my surprise when I read her latest post entitled "A Letter to Xavier"! It was a beautiful and inspirational expression of love from my dear friend.

Peace and Love,

Alizé (

Lovebabz said...

Hye Twin!
Happy Mother's Day!

Time to get your butt back to your blog!!!! Vacation OVER!

Luke Cage said...

I love the candor and honesty in your posts Sharon. (leave it to that doggone Lady Lee to start some ish-lol) But at the beginning when I started blogging in '03, I didn't get any comments for a good portion of my posts.

At the time, I was writing to be writing and whoever read, read. I just kept on blogging away anyway and then slowly but surely, here they came. One commenter after another commenter and before long, the vibe was there.

Personally, I don't think wanting comments warrants the tag "comment whore." Or even being disappointed means that either. I think soliciting one's blog for that purpose alone, to receive comments gets the comment whore tag.

I remember I had such topics that folks couldn't write comments in the comments box. They sent me private e-mails. If I were a comment whore, I would have been upset that they sent me e-mails instead of tagging up my comments link. So I definitely don't consider myself to be one.

The answer to your 3rd one is, yes I would. But I would wonder why I wasn't receiving comments. I would still continue to post.

I've stopped blogging a couple of times as a breather, but never to eliminate altogether. If I did, it would be to start from scratch with a totally different name and perspective. Happy Mother's day luv!!!