Today has been a hard day. It is the PO's birthday, and all I want is to be with him.
Trying not to allow myself to slip too far into the sadness I feel about the current state of things between us, I did everything I could to stay busy and not spend too much time alone today. This morning I attended Ryan's football team's pre-season scrimmage which was a lot of fun. Following that, I took my Mom and sister to brunch and hung out with them into the late afternoon. Then I came home where Ryan and I lounged around the house doing not much of nothing.
Nevertheless, I found myself home alone tonight when Ryan left to attend a Rams pre-season game with some of his buddies. Gradually, I lost my tenuous footing and began to descend once again into the emptiness I've been engulfed in lately. Things were getting really, really bad, and then it came to me...I needed somehow to get in touch with myself. I needed to be reminded of who I am and who I want to be. Pondering this thought for awhile, I finally remembered where I could go to get myself together and so I went here!
Believe me when I tell you that reading this again HEALED MY SOUL! Right now, I am feeling as Just Right as I have felt in a long time and I have the ORIGINAL ORIGINAL OLDGIRL to thank for it.
OG I wrote in your comments long ago that you actually SEE me. Then I was thrilled by it, and NOW, I am so blessed by it, because by seeing me the way I used to see myself, you have helped me to see and believe what I will be again.
If you don't already know you better ask somebody, YOU GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS!!!
Happy Birthday #54 to ME!
9 months ago
3 comments:
Awww Oldgirl, didn't see where that was where you were going... LOL!!
I am sorry that you are blue. The blues will eventually go away. Sometimes I wish that we could get a quick "Snapshot" of a spot far down the road, on the road that we thought we should have been taking, but it didn't work out that way... I wonder if we would see it as a place we would imagine ourselves being.
Man, I don't know if that makes sense to you. But this might: when things don't go the way I thought they should, I tend to think that God saw a few things down the road that weren't beneficial for me and mines... and took the liberty to throw up a few roadblocks, to get me back on track... to get me headed back towards His purpose for my life.
Am I rambling? Maybe. But you know me, you know what I mean. Just know that there is a reason for everything, man...
I am having trouble finding that book I want to get for you, so I had to order it... so hold your horses, it'll be there soon...
And keep your head up, ma'am... You're blessed, and a blessing to so many all around you!
Lee.
I’m speechless and so captivated by your words. I’ve been moved beyond responses this week. First Jaine Blaize talks about her daughter and the preparation she’s making for her daughter in the future and now these words about your son.
Incredible prose from a very inspiring and uplifting post about love, motherhood and the day the bird leaves his nest. Nicely done miss Sharon!
Letting go is never easy at first. It does become easier. Now this is just me...but sometimes I used to think God was showing me what I didn't want and made it hard for me to ignore it.
Many possibilities may come from this...I know you'll chose the right path for you.
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