Life As Defined By Poetry And Math

The New Obama Video by Will.I.Am.

Originally this video was not a part of this post. It was added as an afterthought because upon stumbling across it out here in the world wide web I love so much, I felt it also represents another aspect of the poetry that is life for me right now so I decided to do an uprecedented thing and add it into an existing blog post. I hope you liked it.

Those who know me well know that I am a lover of all things beautiful. Not just beauty in the physical sense of the word, though I admire physical beauty as well. However, right now, I'm thinking of beauty along more poetic lines.

I love the beauty of family relationships. I love knowing that even when feeling isolated and alone, I only have to reach out to my family and some or even all of them will be at my side surrounding me with love and happiness in an instant. This kind of love and assurance makes life poetic in my opinion.

I love the beauty of my friendships. I love having been born into a wonderful family that is enhanced, extended, and diversified by the amazingly wonderful people that GOD chooses to pass through my life as friends. Some were sent to me very early on and have stayed with me from that time to this. Some have only recently shown up on the scene, but fit like a pair of jeans I've worn since high school (that is, assuming I could fit any pair of jeans I owned in high school still ;-) ....soon, baby soon!). And there are even those who show up just to fulfill a specific role and then pass on through never to be heard from or seen again; and never to be forgotten. Regardless of when they show up or how long they stay, my friends bring music, light, and poetry to my life that fills me with wonder and amazement even in my darkest hours. Once again, an example of life's majestic poetry.

I love being in love with black men. I love so many things about being in love with black men I don't even know where to begin. I love the way they have of putting their hand in the small of my back and leading me oh so gently into a room. I love the deep resonance of the black man's voice, even those who are tenors. I love the feel of their breath on my neck as they stand behind me in their attempt to support me and keep me strong. I love that when I find one that wants to be there for me, he is SO THERE that it is impossible for me to feel afraid of anything. I love the way black men call me "Baby"...HAVE MERCY! Okay, this is only one point of this post so I'll stop here, but make no mistake about it, I LOVE BLACK MEN...I DO, I DO, I DO, DO , DO! By my standards, black men are definitely living poetry.

I love so many things of beauty, but when I stop to think about it, I think I may love the beauty of words the most. I guess you could say that words to me are one of life's most precious gifts.

I love words because they have the power to do anything. Words are the true SUPER HEROES of my world as they are able not only to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but they can bring smiles, cause laughter, elicit tears, and even save lives; on the other hand, words have the power to destroy. WORDS CAN DO ANYTHING MY HEART DESIRES THEM TO DO! Words provide each and every one of us with the power to be anything and anyone we choose to be, if we follow just one simple rule. We must understand that words are powerful and once spoken, they have the power to change everything so we must be ever-vigilant that the words we speak are spoken ALWAYS in love so as not to bring about destruction and devastation; because once spoken, no matter what, words cannot be taken back no matter how much one might wish they could be.

I love words because they are able to be used by anyone...THEY are the great equalizer. Whether used to relay stories of truth or fiction, fact or fantasy, prose or poetry, words can be used in some amazing way by anyone willing to take the time to use them. That being said, I am only recently discovering that my favorite way to use and to see words be used is in the poetic sense. I've been blessed in the last month to meet through this amazing world of blogging some of the most wonderful wordsmiths I've ever come across. I'm feeling kind of lazy right now so I did not create the links, but if you love words like I love words, then you should do yourself a favor and click the following links in my blogroll to the left:

• Bloggers' Delight To Write - You will find amazing poetry from various blogger/poets.
• Sojourner G - You will find beautiful, lyrical poetry, most with a connection to scripture.
• DUETS - You will find poetic collaborations created by various blogger/poets who have brought together their beautifully, poetic minds.
• Lovebabz - You will find stories about real life told with amazing candor and honesty with the clarity of the most expensive crystal; each supported by poetry from some of the most amazing poets on the planet.
• Ali's Zay - You will find not only amazing poetry here, but some of the most evocative photography I've ever seen along with an amazing story of one black man's ongoing, all-consuming passion for his beautiful, black woman.

Yes, without question, poetry is my favorite life form if indeed what I believe to be true is true: Words are life, and life is poetry. I know for many, poetry is viewed as bourgois, elitest, and just plain old boring. However, the world has changed and poetry is changing right along with it. From Edgar Allen Poe's Raven and Annabelle Lee to Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman to Ms. Just Write Now's The One...A History of Black Women, (I always wanted to see my name and the title of one of my own poetic creations listed next to these individuals who are both two of my all time favorite poets...see how words work ;-) there is something in the world of poetry for everyone. The only thing required to find the poetry that fits you, is to go and try some on!

So in closing, I want to leave you all with a little algebra because though not necessarily explicitly poetic in and of themselves, mathematical equations have the uncanny ability to define life in its simplest form and as many of you already know, simplicity is poetic. Y'all remember the transitive property don't y'all...IF [a] IS EQUAL TO [b], AND [b] IS EQUAL TO [c], THEN [a] IS EQUAL TO [c]...

LIFE[a] IS[=] POETRY[b].

POETRY[b] IS[=] BEAUTIFUL[c].

LIFE[a] IS[=] BEAUTIFUL[c].

Words are gifts y'all, give generously!!

(Don't thank me, the math lesson is on me ! ;-)

Living My Life Like It's GOLDEN!

The Birthday was an absolute BLAST!!!! And just in case you don't believe me, here's the proof...

BTW, this video is pretty much over at the timepoint 3:40 but I couldn't make the Windows Movie Maker program stop so it just goes on and on and on and on and.... ENJOY ;-)

Also, I wanted to share my birthday present from Ladylee this year...she is the very first blogger I ever met, and she gave me my personal theme song on my birthday last year which I have used as background music for the birthday movie you are about to view! Thanks OG!

Time Is Not A Straight Line...

The week that has passed since my last post here has been an amazing one in my life. It has been a week of solidifying new relationships with bloggers across the country with whom I hope my associations will be long, and which have already begun to bear fruit. It has been a week of great introspection which has led to wonderful discoveries and new insight into the blogger that is me. It has been a week of re-connections with friends and loved ones throughout the country with whom I had not been in touch for some time. Finally, it has been another one of those weeks that leaves one's mind swirling and twirling as the effects of the Earth's frantic rotation on its axis seems somehow able to be physically detectable by this mere mortal. With so many influences received in a single week, I thought I'd share some of those things that for whatever reason still remain prominent in my mind.

A few weeks ago, I posted a poem here that was inspired by another of my many "Teachers" titled "LEARNING". The poem was an ode to the exhileration I get from learning new things and the side dish of fear that comes with that same learning. Several people have asked me what is the basis of the "fear" I spoke of in the poem, to which I reply "The fear is the natural response to the necessity of changing myself, my views, and/or my actions to accommodate what I have learned." In the spirit of this particular learning, I would like to encourage black people worldwide to open their/our collective minds to this simple idea and be more willing to change ourselves, our views, our actions, as well as our minds about the expectations we set for those like us.

It is fear of change I believe that most seems to hinder the progress and advancement of the black race. In my opinion, we are one of the most passionate races to be found on the planet, and that being so, there is no stronger ally one can have in their corner than a person of African-American descent...at least initially. The problem however seems to be that there always seems to come a point, just when whatever it is we are striving for is within our reach, that "fear" is allowed to derail us from our original course. When this happens, we as a people seem to lose sight of the BIG PICTURE possibly because of a fear of the change we are required to undergo within ourselves simply to believe that what we have worked so diligently for is something we might actually obtain.

This Saturday, February 23rd is the scheduled date for the 2008 STATE OF BLACK AMERICA Forum. A critically important event in my opinion based on previous years, this event will receive even more notariety this year as it figures prominently into the race for the Democratic Presidential Nomination. In recent weeks, there have been some mild rumblings about whether or not Mr. Obama has to be (as in "He's obligated to prove his solidarity with black folks as a black candidate trying to win their votes) in attendance. I personally take issue with the concept of Mr. Obama or anyone else for that matter being boxed in such that he "has" to do anything. My opinions notwithstanding, it appears that factions of Black America (read: Tavis Smiley and I'm not hatin' here as I assure you that I love me some Tavis) are upset with the Illinois Senator's decision not to attend the event but to campaign in Texas and Ohio instead. Even offering his brilliant wife Mrs. Michelle Obama to attend in his stead (a completely acceptable alternative in my estimation) was not received as an acceptable compromise. Thus, began the criticisms again of whether or not Mr. Obama was attempting to "separate" himself from being associated with anything black in orientation. I find myself thinking, "Let it go people...just let it go! Why must black folks constantly be held to a standard by which they are required to "prove" their blackness while white folks are given the designation of "blackness" for something as stereotypical as being able to play the saxophone or loving fried chicken? Why was it acceptable for Mrs. Clinton to send the former president to South Carolina on her behalf while she campaigned elswhere with no resulting talk of her underlying reason being an attempt to 'avoid being viewed as "the black candidate" by avoiding spending significant amounts of time campaigning in largely Black South Carolina' . But to the contrary, now when Mr. Obama is faced with pretty much the same scenario due to other priorities of his own, his decision results in questions about his loyalty to black voters?". There is definitely a double standard being applied here people.

With the event taking place this weekend, and Mrs. Clinton currently scheduled to attend and Mr. Obama not, my expectation is that those mild rumblings from recent weeks will shortly turn into full-fledged volcanoes. Here you can find a blog post by Roland Martin in which he gives what I believe to be a well thought out analysis of the candidates' current needs as it relates to securing the Democratic Nomination and a subsequent rationale for what their priorities should be for this upcoming weekend based on that analysis. The bottom line is that Mr. Obama is running for president of the entire United States of America same as Mrs. Clinton, and in my opinion he should be allowed to do that based on what he needs to do to accomplish that goal, same as Mrs. Clinton. Currently, Mrs. Clinton could benefit by positively impacting the number of Black Americans willing to endorse her as a candidate the same as positively impacting the Hispanic communities can benefit Mr. Obama's campaign. Thus, it makes absolute sense for Mrs. Clinton to attend this event, but for Mr. Obama who already has significant Black support, not so much. In order for Mr. Obama to live up to his promise of trying to improve things for any Americans, black, white, male, female or otherwise, he must first become the president. I personally would love it if Mr. Smiley, the Congressional Black Caucus, the Civil Rights Old Guard and all the other so-called keeper's of Dr. King's Dream would get the hell outta the way and let him do that! So please my fellow black folks, regardless of what you hear or who you personally endorse, please, please, please look at the BIG PICTURE and decide for yourself where you believe Mr. Obama, Mrs. Clinton, and any other candidate you might support should be on Saturday.

In the last week, I have discovered yet another "Teacher" in the person of one of my new favorite bloggers, a person who already has become a lifelong friend I'm sure, Xavier of Ali's Zay blog fame. In less than a week, Zay has taught Ms. Just Write Now as much as she has learned in the last six months from her own efforts, and the greatest of these learnings is his teachings regarding the nature of TIME, thus the title of this post. My new friend has revolutionized my thinking about time and this new learning is reflected throughout my approach to my life and has been a liberating factor in my recent writing. "Thanks again Zay!"

This post itself is a perfect illustration of the fact that time is not linear as I have jumped back and forth between the past, present, and future many times already and here I go back to the future again....

Saturday is also MY BIRTHDAY....YEAAAAAAAAAA MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Always a huge appreciator of my birthday, I am sooooooooooo looking forward to this one. Those fine bloggers who were contributors to the wonderful compilation titled

"Bloggers'

Delight

Volume One" will be having their very first book release party right here in my fair city THE LOU and on my very own BEARTHDAY...once again I find myself saying "YEAAAAAAAAAAAA MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I am gonna meet Ms. CapCity, Mizrepresent, Mega-rich, Saadia, and who knows who else alive and in person right here on my turf. Talk about looking forward to your birthday ***so damned giddy she needs drugs to come down to earth***. In addition, many of my friends and loved ones have confirmed they will be in attendance at this amazing event as well to help me and those delightful bloggers celebrate! Isn't it wonderful when your presents come early...you don't even have to wonder if you will be getting anything ;-)

Okay, time being what it is, let's take a step back into the past to tomorrow, Friday, February 22nd (see what Zay means...gotcha with that one didn't I? I betcha you had to go back and think about that one...YEAAAAAAAAA ZAAAAAAAAAAAY!). Tomorrow, my son Ryan and I will be driving over to Kansas to check out one of the colleges he is considering. Now y'all already know that I couldn't possibly love this child/man more than I do, but let me tell you all how truly amazing he is. This person that started life inside my body has truly got a life of his own! He is a senior this year and will be graduating in May. To date, he has been accepted to three colleges, and two of the three so far have offered him scholarships for both his academic and athletic prowess! So tomorrow we will be evaluating in person one of the two colleges so far to offer him significant scholarship assistance as we narrow the field of choices to the one lucky enough to ultimately claim my brilliant man-child as one of its future alums! Now you tell me, what is there not to love about this kid?!

Okay, this is getting much longer than I planned so I'm gonna end my time travels here in the present by saying to each of you reading this: "You are the very definition of love so thank you so much for stopping in ;-)" !!!

**
Black and White photography stolen shamelessly from Zay's blog; all other photos taken or stolen from the www by Ms. Just Write Now ;-)

My 100th Post & 100 Things That Make Me Me...

That's right blog family -- The big ONE ZERO ZERO! From November 2005 to now, I have somehow managed to come up with one hundred topics to pontificate upon on this here blog! So in honor of this momentous occasion, I have decided to drop the shroud of secrecy I typically cower behind (lol...yeah right!) and let y'all in on who the real Ms. Just Write Now really is...so here goes...




1. I am the firstborn daughter of the most generous woman ever born. Thus generosity was inherited through my DNA.



2. I am the eighth and favorite grandchild of the best mother/grandmother ever born. Thus motherhood came as naturally as breathing to me.



3. I am a Pisces and as such I don't favor eating seafood....too much like cannibalism I guess.



4. I am 42 years old (soon to be 43 on the 23rd) and proud of it. I encourage my 18 year old 270 pound son to call me Mom in public because I enjoy hearing "You don't look old enough to have a son his age." so much.



5. I grew up in all black neighborhoods in the inner city of St. Louis, Missouri and therefore, never dealt with the stupidity of racism directly until after my self-image, self-worth, and self esteem had ALL been well established.



6. I never attended school with a white person until college; except for a white boy named Derek in high school who didn't count as far as we were concerned because adopted by a black family, he was just one of us.



7. I am a realist about everything but I have a very active, creative mind and fantasy world.



8. The first time I traveled on an airplane, I was 16 years old and going to Italy on a foreign exchange program trip for 3 months.



9. I have been truly in love (romantically) with three men in my 42 years.



10. As a young girl, I planned to get pregnant, never tell the father, and raise my child alone while never marrying.



11. I changed my mind about #10 by the time I reached adulthood, but still ended up getting pregnant and raising my child alone even though I DID tell the father.



12. I have one son.



13. I love my son more than anything/one PERIOD.



14. A year ago I thought I would LOVE to be married "until death do us part"; now, I'm not so sure.



15. In my heart I have been married to every man with whom I have been in love.



16. I have always been a one-man woman.



17. I have ZERO tolerance for liars.



18. I am fiercely protective, scratch that, OVER-protective of those I love.



19. I am extremely principle driven and will sacrifice everything for my principles in most situations.



20. I love my family beyond reason.



21. I historically tend to neglect myself in favor of others.



22. As I get older, I am becoming more selfish and self-centered. This is a good thing.



23. I wish I had better credit. I am aggressively working on this.



24. I hope that at least one of the people who love me would go to the extremes to protect and care for me that I would go to for any of the people that I love.



25. Though gregarious most of the time, I LOVE solitude when I want it.



26. I cry very easily. I always have. I cried in front of my boss a few months ago. DAMN!!



27. Only people I give a damn about can hurt my feelings.



28. I am not afraid of confrontation.



29. I consider myself to be one of the smartest people I know.



30. Contrary to what many believe, I am barely computer literate. This blog is an exercise in cutting and pasting and trial and error.



31. The achievement that defines me as a person is my son.



32. I would lie, steal, cheat, kill, and WHATEVER else that might be necessary to protect and care for my son.



33. I am most afraid of prison and random acts of violence.



34. Though extremely spiritual, organized religion barely factors into my existence.



35. I loved the PO for more than 20 years. Boy was that a HUGE mistake!



36. I was often afraid that the PO and I wouldn't always be a part of each other's lives. THAT was NOT a mistake.



37. Once Ryan (my son) leaves home (for college, his own place, etc.), I want to already have a life of my own underway. I am working at developing my own interests now for that reason.



38. I have recently learned that I have a very small number of friends. However, they are the most devoted, loyal, dependable group of people anyone could ever hope to have in their corner.



39. I am a major movie buff. I especially love to see movies that allow for amazing performances by black performers even if the characters they are portraying are from the seedier side of black life. It is ACTING afterall people and what is IS.



40. I would be very helpful at trivia night if movies or movie-making were a category.



41. I love music but know nothing about it. I can't tell you who sings what nor can I tell you the title of most songs. However, I love music and lyrics and though I was not blessed with the ability to carry a tune I sing at the top of my lungs both in the shower and when I am in the car alone.



42. The easiest decision I ever made was to give my brother a kidney.



43. The hardest decision I ever made was to keep working at my last relationship.



44. The decision I made that has had the greatest impact on my life was to have and raise my son alone when I discovered I was pregnant.



45. The one thing I would do differently if I could go back and change anything would be to be more protective of my credit rating.



46. The people who have had the greatest influence on my life are Ryan, my mother, and my grandmother.



47. The things I am most vain about are: my skin, formerly my nails and hair, and my writing.



48. The things I am most insecure about are: relationships because of the baggage of past ones.



49. I think I would be a different person entirely if: my father had lived until I was an adult.



50. My favorite color is red. It makes me feel positive and upbeat.



51. Sometimes I get depressed and when I do, I tend to hibernate in my cave (bedroom) until I realize to get through it I have to get up and out and focus on something outside of myself. Thankfully, my depressions pass quickly.



52. Most people are uncomfortable when I am anything other than optimistic, cheerful, and upbeat. So I try to avoid exposing them to my darker side.



53. I am a non-practicing pharmacist by training.



54. I plan and execute one helluva party.



55. I have no patience with adults who choose to focus on the negative.



56. I LOVE CHILDREN unconditionally unless they're bad as hell or disrespectful to adults, particularly their own parents.



57. I used to be in favor of capital punishment though I realize it is not always equitably applied. This changed in the last year after reading Dead Man Walking.



58. My free time is spent reading, writing, and traveling as much as I can.



59. I very rarely wear make-up.



60. I like to dress up in formal wear.



61. I think my best physical attributes are my eyes, lips, legs, and breasts.



62. I want to lose 40 pounds still.



63. I lost 35 pounds in 2006 but gained 15 of it back during the post-transplant "no-exercise" period last year.



64. I am starting a new fitness regimen this weekend.



65. I love to kiss and be kissed.



66. I am a huge fan of sex.



67. Dessert is the most important meal of the day in my opinion.



68. I believe that I will be financially wealthy one day though I don't feel that it will be a consequence of my job.



69. I wish I had had more children....at least two more, another son and a daughter.



70. I love surprises and was never the type of child who searched for her Christmas presents in the house or tried to guess what was in a wrapped package.



71. If I ever do have a wedding, it will be a simple, sentimental affair preferably on a beach or in a park with a huge reception/PARTY to follow.



72. I think white people enjoy life more than black people because of a freedom to try anything without the constraints black folks place on themselves and each other with the "black folks don't do ....." commentary that so often meets our decision to try a new adventure.



73. I think black folks should be more willing to discuss in mixed-race company many of the topics we tend only to discuss amongst ourselves. I make a point of doing this which enables me to really get a better understanding of the differences and similarities between these two not so diametrically opposed cultures.



74. The worst thing I ever did and got away with (that I am willing to talk about here) was when I received an "F" for a semester grade in typing for cutting class and my high school principle changed it arbitrarily to a "B" so it would not damage an otherwise stellar transcript.



75. I have a fetish for underwear and pajamas.



76. I spend too much time on my computer.



77. My worst fault is my tendency to procrastinate.



78. My earliest memory is of the day my baby sister was brought home for the first time when I was two years old.



79. The most amazing thing I ever saw was the births of my nephew and cousin.



80. My favorite holiday is Christmas.



81. I have NEVER dated outside my race.


82. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Black Men!!!! YIPPPEEEEEE!


83. I have the best best friend of all the best friends ever created!


84. I have not owned a personal car since 1996. Let's hear it for company vehicles!


85. I often read the same book over as many a four times in the case of books like Roots and Kindred.


86. I have recently discovered a love of poetry.


87. I believe I could be a great songwriter if I put my mind to it.


88. I adore my birthday and celebrate it with more enthusiasm with each successive year.


89. I hardly ever worry about anything.


90. My most superficial goal is to look great in a two piece swim suit by November 2008.


91. My loftiest goal is to be a published author in the next calendar year.


92. I would NEVER end a friendship over a monetary issue.


93. As I have grown older, I have accepted the belief that some people are just evil.


94. I believe that sometimes the lesson is that we don't get to know exactly what the lesson is.


95. I believe that there is someone for everyone.


96. I work hard at being conscientious of the feelings of others.


97. I believe that most people actually receive the image of me that I try to project.


98. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY PARENTS (MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER) ARE PROUD OF ME!


99. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I AM A GOOD MOTHER.


100. NEXT TO MY FAMILY, I FEEL MOST BLESSED BY MY ABILITY TO WRITE AND THE GIFT OF STUMBLING UPON BLOGGING AS THESE TWO THINGS HAVE ENHANCED MY LIFE IN WAYS THAT ONLY MY FAMILY DID BEFORE.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT BLOG FAMILY

ME,

IN A HUNDRED LITTLE NUT SHELLS ;)

With Candy So Abundant, Sugar Coating Is Not Necessary!

I think it has been awhile since I let go of a good ole' old fashioned rant so today's the day!

Whose dumb a$$ idea was Valentine's Day anyway?

Now before any of you go off trying to convince yourselves that I'm pissed merely because I am an embittered single woman and thus won't be getting any of the candy or other obligatory tokens of the day let me just say two things:

• Though single, embittered would not be an adjective anyone would use to describe me!


• If I wanted to, I could gift myself with flowers, candy, etc. with more spontaneous and truly heartfelt presentation than most of the "gift" giving that will take place today!"

I mean come on, who could have thought this whole scenario was a good idea?

Let's step back and examine the situation...

Boy meets girl.

Boy likes girl.

Boy waits 2 days minimum before calling girl.

Girls smiles and picks up the phone all the while thinking, "You'll pay for those 2 days on V-day!"

Okay, so I'm being a bit melodramatic I admit but come on people how did the "romance-mongers" a.k.a. businesses trying to make a buck off of commercializing love ever pull such a coup over on us without us ever seeming to notice? To make matters worse, it ain't even all that creative...

Fellas, I'll give you all a little credit for trying to resist this machine, but with booty on the line, y'all fall in line pretty easily it seems. My sistas, we are another story entirely. I have seen it all in reaction to what a sista did or did not receive on this most manufactured of all the commercial holidays. From being pissed that the flowers were carnations (which mean friendship) instead of roses (which mean love; but only if they're red mind you--who comes up with this ish) to going postal because yet again the box contained an appliance instead of a diamond ring, I am astonished and appalled by the atrocious behavior I've seen my sistas display on this made-up "holiday". Even more alarming is the fact that rarely does a sista-friend step forward to breath sanity into an obviously insane situation as most of us seem to behave as if our brains have been deprived of oxygen when it comes to our response to a brother not jumping through the "hoops" affiliated with this day.

Let's face it, if it was really a holiday, I wouldn't have to work. If it was really all about love, it would have been scheduled to occur on weekends when lovers would be able to lay around with each other and ummm "meditate" on their mutual adoration. If it was really about love, the most honorable emotion we are capable of, the damned day would have some semblance of authenticity, realness, some basis in reality. But noooooooooooooooooo, it's just a manufactured, fake azz, excuse for brothas to get ganked, sistas to get stressed, and purveyors of the spoils of this war (i.e. jewelers, candy makers, florists) to clean-up!

It doesn't even matter whether one is single or part of a couple, nobody wins with this one. Official couples fight over what did/didn't, should/shoudn't have been purchased. Singles are ill-at-ease as they struggle to figure out if they are "serious" enough to be expected to fall in with the requirements of the day. Brothas get more broke while sistas get more stressed and in the midst of all the "romance" permeating the world, there is an undercurrent of "LAWD puleeze just let it be ovah!"

Now if you like this kind of forced festivity, far be it from me to try to dissuade you from it. I'm just saying from my point of view, I'll pass on V-day in favor of something truly from the heart, floating on the wings of fantasy, that shows up with no preamble sometime in the future...maybe a month from Wednesday and maybe even just because its Wednesday!

HAPPY FEBRUARY 14TH Y'ALL!!!

Uncharacteristic Second Post In A 24 Hour Period...

If this is a regular stop on your Blog Reading Express then you know that I don't typically post multiple times in any given 24 hour period. Today, I stumbled across the videos you will find embedded in this post on the VOX of RPM as I travelled my own Blog Reading Express. I was so moved by the intimate knowledge of pertinent issues demonstrated by the discussion in the first video and the passionately raw emotion and conviction evidenced in the second that I simply had to provide all of you the opportunity to experience what I did.

As this election year unfurls and with the advent of Black History Month I've wondered often about what the sacrifices of those who fought to gain the right to vote for all Americans means to those of my son's generation . The further we move away from that period in time, I find that I worry more and more that the significance of what has been secured for us might be lost. The videos you will find here provided some assurance that for reasons uniquely specific to the issues they face this generation like those before it will continue to fan the flame.

My previous entry, posted last night was about another experience I recently had revolving around the Democratic process. That experience meant a lot to me as well, so much so that I wanted to share it with you all so I hope you will take the time to check it out too. However, of the two, this one or that one, I feel compelled to give my endorsement to THIS ONE!

With so very much at stake, please I beg of you

DON'T SLEEP.

What the hell is a caucus anyway??

Living as I do in the "Show Me State" (that would be Missouri for those of you who flunked your gubment classes), I had the privilege of casting my vote in the Democratic Primary held in my fine state on what has come to be known as Super Tuesday. I am not ashamed to let it be known that my choice for president of these United States over the next EIGHT years (that's right I said eight!) is Mr. Barack Obama. I won't get into all of the nuances of why he is in my opinion the best person for the job except to say that when the platforms of the various candidates basically mirror each other, that only leaves the intangibles that each possess that connect with those feelings that come from your gut or instinct; and in my case, Mr. Obama's intangibles (i.e. VISION, LEADERSHIP, HEART, etc.) in combination with his tangibles (i.e. platform, integrity, HEART, etc.) have a stronger connection with my instincts and gut than do Mrs. Clinton's.

However, none of that is the point of this post. As a consequence of having to go to picturesque Omaha, Nebraska on bizness this week, I had the added pleasure of spending the weekend in the midwest resort Mecca known as Kearney, Nebraska. Okay, okay, so it is NOT a resort Mecca, but my best friend and her family live there so it is almost like a vacation escape for me so there! Anyway, because I spent the weekend in Kearney and my friend and her husband are Democrats as well, I got to witness Nebraska's first Democratic Caucus first hand.

Now most of you who read this blog are in my opinion pretty damned smart and thereby, you all probably already know what a caucus is exactly. Me, on the other hand, I'm just gettin' by with a little help from my friends which means that I had not a clue of how exactly a caucus differs from a regular old primary such as the one in which I participated on Super Tuesday. Well, now I know and based on what I know now, I'd say that those who support candidates through the caucus system (particularly those who caucused in Kearney, Nebraska last Saturday), are a much hardier and loyal bunch than those like me who simply cast a vote in a primary. From the conditions under which they might have to caucus to the amount of time investment required, all I have to say is that I applaud those who caucus!!! Read on to learn what I witnessed.

Let me set the stage for the Kearney, Nebraska caucus.

Held on a blustery Saturday morning (February 9th, 2008), at the Alumni House on the campus of the University of Nebraska at Kearney, the caucus began by having those who are registered Democrats in the state of Nebraska and who support Obama sign in on the front porch while those who had decided to support Clinton signed in at the back door. Once signed in, each voter was given a sticker with the name of the candidate they supported to wear on their chest. Then Obama supporters were allowed to enter the front rooms of the Alumni House while Clinton supporters occupied a large multi-purpose room at the rear. Those who either had not decided or like me were simply there to observe, were given red stickers marked "O" for observer and sent to the back wall of the "Hillary" room to watch the proceedings.

Separated from my friends who were in the "Obama" section of the house I leaned up against the back wall of the "Hillary" room where I subsequently had several interesting interactions. Of note, is the fact that Kearney, Nebraska is an overwhelmingly caucasian town with a black population I imagine of less than 1%. Thus regardless of which candidate you supported, if like me you are a black American attending this particular caucus, you found yourself one of less than ten black folk dispersed throughout the entire house. So don't be fooled for a minute by those who wish to put forth the notion that this Democratic nomination process is simply about races aligning with their own.

The first person I met was a white woman who was in her fifties who explained to me that she was a disgruntled Republican who felt that "anything was better than what we have now" and that was why she was there. The next was an 88 year old white man who was a Republican who had already officially switched parties a few weeks ago and had come to the Democratic Caucus to vote for Hillary. The third was a white female college student whose family had been Republican from "the beginning of time" (as described by her); she didn't know what she was doing but felt that if she didn't vote for someone she would be ashamed of herself.

At this point, the workings of this first Nebraska caucus were explained to the group as follows:

All of those who were registered Democrats would be asked to line up and be counted based on which of the two Democratic candidates they were supporting. At this point, the request was made that anyone in the room who was NOT supporting Hillary go to the front "Obama" section of the house and vice versa. Undecideds were asked to remain against the back wall with observers unless they had come to a decision and then if they had, to go to the appropriate section of the Alumni House to be counted for their chosen candidate.

At this point, it is important to note that the number of Obama supporters had surged such that they all could not fit in the front section of the Alumni House. Thus, the overflow crowd spilled out onto the front lawn where they had to remain for about one and a half hours of the approximately two and a half hour process. The explanation of events continued as follows:

Following the first count, representatives from each candidates's "camp" would be allowed to go and speak to the other camp for five minutes in an attempt to change minds, sway undecideds in their chosen candidate's favor, and convince stalwarts that they were backing the wrong horse so to speak. Once these representatives were done speaking, a half hour for contemplation and discussion was allowed after which a second and final count was taken which would determine which candidate won the caucus.

After the first count was taken, Obama had a commanding lead over Clinton. At this point, the representatives crossed over to the competitor's camps to try to change minds and sway attitudes. Now began the thirty minute contemplation period and yours truly, Ms. Just Write Now swung into action.

Being sent to hold up the wall in the "Hillary" room was a matter of available space. However, it wasn't fair to Hillary as Ms. Just Write Now had the opportunity to put a lil' somethin somethin on the minds of those disgruntled former Republicans and undecided voters who surrounded her. The woman who was changing parties shared that she was thinking of supporting Hillary because she has more "experience" than Obama. So the following conversation ensued:

Me: So you feel that seven years in the Senate plus her experience as First Lady can be counted as experienced to become President of the United States?

Her: Yes.

Me: I know a lot of people feel the same as you, but I don't b/c I believe that there is no other job in the world like being President of the United States except maybe being the head of state of another country.

Her: I never thought about it that way before.

Me: Are you happy with the way that things are currently done in Washington D.C.? Do you think the system works well?

Her: No, I think it sucks! That's why I switched parties!

Me: Would you agree that with 7 years of experience working in the existing system, Hillary probably knows her way around in it and works well within it?

Her: Yup! That's exactly why she gets my vote.

Me: Let me ask you one more thing....if you think the current system of government in D.C. sucks then why would you want to vote for someone who is apparently content to work in the system as it is? Of the two candidates, which would you think would work harder to change the current system; the one with so much experience they are used to it and have figured out how to work in it or the candidate with less experience and time to get used to it who is all fired up to change the system? My answer to these questions is that Obama is the one who would actively try to change what in my opinion and yours from what you said before, is a bad system and that is just one more reason he gets my vote.

Her: I'll talk to you later, I'm going to the front to vote for Obama in the second count.

After similar conversations with the 88 year old Republican and the female college student, Ms. Just Write Now ended up moving 2 for 3 into the Barack column. The 88 year old Republican actually had some food for thought for Ms. Just Write Now which once she has had the time to research it might get blogged about here in one of what I promise you will be a limited number of posts about politics.

Now I know some of you Hillary supporters are probably thinking that was not fair. Maybe it wasn't fair that I was in a room full of her supporters, but that is what caucuses are supposed to be about as it was explained to me on Saturday; trying to change minds and find a consensus. It is also important to note that the minds I "changed" were undecided to begin with; so actually, I truly did Hillary no harm (lol). Additionally, keep in mind that almost 100 of Obama's supporters were forced to stand outside in 32 degree weather due to lack of space inside in the Obama section while the Hillary section had plenty of room to house her supporters, the undecideds, observers, and if they had been of a mind to, the Obama supporter overflow as well. However, no move was made to move those hardy individuals inside.

For that reason alone I say, those of you who caucus are a stronger, more loyal lot than those of us who primary. On Super Tuesday, it rained cats and dogs in the Show Me State and I procrastinated and vacillated the entire day about whether or not I would brave the elements to cast my primary vote. Ultimately, the only thing that got me out the door to vote was the potential nightmare of waking up Wednesday morning to find that Hillary had won by one vote. I suspect the same was true for many of my fellow Democrats here in Missouri. Were I in the situation many of Obama's supporters in Kearney, Nebraska's Caucus found themselves -- standing in the cold waiting for more than an hour to be twice counted -- I can't be absolutely sure I would have been counted at all.

So at the end of the event, the final talley ended up:

• BARACK OBAMA: 301


• HILLARY CLINTON: 173

These same results were mirrored in caucuses all across the state leading to Mr. Obama winning the poplar vote as well as the delegate appropriation for the great state of Nebraska as he has in so many other states that have held caucuses and primaries to date. Like so many others before them, on Saturday last, members of Kearney, Nebraska's Democratic Party embraced the vision of the man I hope will be this country's next president proving it once again to be true,

YES WE CAN!!!

(and now as an added bonus, I know first hand what exactly a caucus is to boot!)

Brilliant Blogger Birthday on BLAST!!!

See, it wasn't sposed to be like this.

This is the reward I get for working for THE MAN. He's got this sista jet-setting across the square states of the continental U.S. to the extent that I don't know which way is up or what day or time it is. "DOWN WITH THE MAN!", I say; down with his azz!

ANTYWAY....what was sposed to happen was this....

Thursday, my favorite blogger Ladylee that prolific Old Girl was supposed to wake up early like I imagine an overachiever such as she always does, thumb her nose at her gubment job and THE MAN who typically believes he has rights to her time on weekdays between the hours of o-dark-thirty and 0-dark-thirty, make herself something absolutely scrumptious for breakfast, then at her leisure, sit herself down in front of her beloved computer and check out her regular blog reads like she does every morning. Upon stumbling across this particular blog (one my sitemeter indicates she stumbles upon every morning so "No, I am not being conceited!"), she was to be pleasantly surprised and quite amused to find she was the featured topic of discussion!

"But Noooooooooooooooooooo!", THE MAN wasn't having that ish and kept me away from my computer until today!

Antyway....this is what that infamous OG was sposed to find here on Thursday if things had happened like they were sposed to happen --

Sometimes in life you meet people so casually and nonchalantly that at the time you don't pay too much attention because at the time, you don't realize how important a part of your life that particular person is going to become. Because of the fact that whoever that person is entered into your reality without ceremony, so quietly in fact that maybe you didn't even notice at the time, you don't mark the moment and years later, you are lucky if you can even remember when it was that that particular person first entered your life. To a large extent, this is the situation I find to be true of how I met my Best Blogger Friend Forever (BBFF) that infamous Old Girl, Ladylee!

Fortunately, I am able to pinpoint the moment we actually met not because it was marked by a lot of noise or pomp and circumstance, but quite the contrary, because it was not. We met while taking a writing/getting published seminar during the annual Black Book Club Conference convention held in Atlanta in August 2005. Most of you have heard the story of how I showed up late, confused, and flustered and after receiving the Forest Gump "seats taken" treatment from four or five folk in the room, I heard the sweetest most gentlest voice ever say "you can sit here" and thereby, I found my own Jenny (in a manner of speaking ;). In the span of an hour's time, Ladylee rescued this sista three different times first offering the seat, then a pen, and finally offering to send me a book on writing more descriptively which showed up at my house within a few weeks of that initial meeting as promised.

Even still, I did not at the time realize what a pivotal meeting this was for my life.

Shortly thereafter, I decided to start this blog. I chose a layout, a title, and sat down to write my very first post after which I decided to bump around the net checking out what other folk were doing on their blogs. It was around this time that the book arrived and in an email I sent to my girl to say thank you, I included the URL for this blog. She answered that email with one that included the URL to her blog which you can find here. Prior to that moment, I had no idea that she even had a blog so immediately, I went there to find out what was going on. Her blog set the standard for what I wanted this one to be. It was amusing, funny, vibrant, and innovative in that it was never predictable and was always filled with pictures. It also was representative of a person who was wise and had a deep understanding of people and the things that motivate them. Using multiple forms of media from music and videos to cartoon graphics from the old Schoolhouse Rock series on TV, Ladylee's blog created some of the best stories I've ever been told. From her description of characters like Mayor Snake to her Birthday blasts like the one she did on me here, visiting her blog is like a "box of chocolates" in that you never know what you're gonna get (okay, okay, that is the last Forest analogy!).

Visiting her blog had huge benefits for me in another important way as once again my favorite OG rescued me by helping me to develop my very first regular readers. I found that everytime I left a comment at her spot, someone would end up following the links to my profile and end up here. See how this little insignificant relationship is getting tangled all up in my life!

Well it didn't stop there. Over the years since we've met, we have sent our attempts at writing back and forth for the other to critique, become friends in the "real world" via email and telephone, and ranted to each other over ish that trips us both out. Back in June 2006, I was all 'cited, cause as a consequence of THE MAN sending me to Atlanta on bizness, it appeared that I was finally going to get to hang out with, and might possibly even get to visit the inner-sanctum of my hero the infamous OG Ladylee, but alas, it was not to be. Ms. Just Write Now got down to the ATL and was anything but alright. I developed the sinus infection/summer cold from hell, and what do you think ended up happening? Da-da-da-DUUUUUUUUM!

That superhero Ladylee strapped on her cape, flew over to the Whole Foods Market and brought this sista chicken noodle soup, fruit, juices, and everything else necessary to scare away pesky lil' infectious organisms. This for me is the very definition of love, and I wrote as much in this post I wrote at that time.

In the last year, this friendship that when it began I barely even noticed has rescued me time and time again so much so that I've written posts about how I relied on my BBFF and her blog to remind me over the last year who I am and of what I am made. Once again, I am so grateful that someone or something (i.e. GOD or whatever spiritual being it is that you believe manages the universe) other than me is in charge because I might not have noticed one of the best gifts I've ever received. A review of the 3 or 4 Birthday Blasts I've written over the years on this blog will demonstrate a common theme, I am always discovering that on the birthdays of those I love most, I seem to get the best gifts and it has happened yet again.

So if you haven't gifted yourself by checking out my BBFF's blog, you should do so immediately and regularly thereafter because you don't know what you are missing. I have been blessed yet again in ways I am sure I don't deserve to be, and as unnoticed or insignificant as that initial meeting might have seemed, I want it to be known that I am aware of the blessing now and it will never be unnoticed again!

HAPPY (belated ;) BIRTHDAY LADYLEE

AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT GIFT TO ME!

LIFE'S A TRIP...If You're Lucky!

The lady in the picture with surprise written all over her face is my grandmother as she entered her Surprise 83rd Birthday Party/Talent Show thrown by my family. She is surrounded by me, the eighth of her sixty-nine grandchildren, my first cousin Mikey (lower left corner) who is the last of her 69 grandchildren, and my second cousin Tracy, one of her 30 or so (at last count) great-grandchildren. I have the extreme privilege of being a member of a five-generation family full of people who enjoy each other just about more than they enjoy anything else! With the exception of two of the smaller branches of my Grandmother's family tree, we all live here in St. Louis and thus every Saturday as I was growing up ended up being a virtual family reunion as we all gathered at my Grandmother's house.

For as far back as I can remember, my Grandmother's house has been my family's gathering place and every major "soul food holiday" celebrated by black American families like mine meant that my Grandma was in the kitchen hooking it up for ALL OF US! I am 42 years old people and my mother, my Grandmother's oldest child is 65. Y'all do the math, that's a HELLA lot of cooking! I try to help her out by taking the load off of her when I can like in this picture which is my basement set for Christmas dinner with 60 of my closest relatives ;)

.

or this picture which shows said relatives in the self-service line getting their eat on!.

This year, as my Grandmother's protector and favorite grandchild (get over it and just accept the facts", said Ms. Just Write Now to her siblings and cousins who have always hated on her for this designation...LOL!), I decided to put an end to her having to work so hard to have us all together on a holiday; so I organized a "vacation on the lay-away plan" for all of my relatives who wanted to come.

So from Friday, November 21, 2008 thru Saturday, November 29th our current address will be here:

We will spend that time cruising and partying from Fort Lauderdale to San Juan to St. Thomas to La Romana to Grand Turk to Nassau and back to Fort Lauderdale on the newest addition to Carnival's fleet The Splendor. In the course of all of this cruising, the first of the major winter "soul food holidays" Thanksgiving, will occur. For the first time in 65 years, my Grandma isn't worried about who's doing the cooking but will still be able to have Thanksgiving dinner surrounded by her family which is and has been the thing that drives everything she does for more than half a century now. Even going on this cruise is in part driven by her love for her family. You need me to prove it? Well, she (like my mother) is pretty much terrified of water. Having convinced my own mother to just try cruising back in 2003 when our branch of the family tree went on a 7 day cruise, I assigned my mother to convince her mother. My mother assured my Grandmother that indeed what I say is true and she never even has to see the water if she does not want to. To add to that endorsement and ensure that my Grandma's fear of water won't lead to a last minute decision to renege, I am paying for her cruise as a gift and I know she would never allow my money to go to waste ;) This is our itinerary,

and to date 38 of my family along with a few close friends of the family have signed up and begun their "lay-away" payments to go. I anticipate a mad rush of relatives trying to sign up in the next few weeks now that tax refund season is here. They too will be able to attend; however, because the rest of us made our initial deposits last August prior to Carnival adding an extra day for which we were not charged, they will not get as great a price as we did (i.e. interior cabins $645 per person).

One of the things I am passionate about is opening up the doors of the world to my family. I come from a family that for the most part dwells in the lowest economic brackets. As a child everyone I was related to lived in "the hood". Born in the projects and having spent my entire childhood in all black, inner-city neighborhoods and schools (and loved it I might add!), it could have been very easy to miss out on all the opportunities available in the wide world. When I was 16 years old, I was blessed to be encouraged by my mother to try for a selection to be a foreign exchange student to another country. I was selected and subsequently spent four months living in Italy. From that point on, the world became a playground for me and I refuse to let myself or those in my family with the desire to play on this playground allow lack of funds to quell what is attainable with just a little advance planning and discipline.

So let the count down begin because in less than ten months my 86 year old Grandma will be leaving this country for the very first time in her life along with the grandchildren and great-grandchild pictured with her above and many of her other descendents not pictured here. The age range of those in attendance based on current reservations will go from 86 all the way down to 3 years old! My Grandma will see, feel, smell, taste, and touch things she never before imagined, and she will have the intensely special sensation of sharing those experiences with four generations of her descendents. Imagine that! One thing's for sure, I know we are ready to go; what I don't know is whether or not the Eastern Caribbean is ready for us!!

Picture taken at my Grandma's house when I was about seven.

(Okay, okay, I'm third from left standing in grey dress with lollipop stick hanging out my mouth and that's Grandma in the middle of the picture in the orange dress and Afro wig ;0)

HER/HAIR PEACE

(Photo taken New Years Day 2008)

I am a woman who notices parallels.

I notice them whenever they occur and in the last year or so I have stumbled quite by accident on an amazing parallel in my life. It is the parallel between coming to terms with my hair and coming to terms with myself.

Coming of age as a black woman is much like coming of age for anyone -- wrought with twists and turns that with hindsight seem inconcievably trite but while traveling through appeared to be if not insurmountable, an awfully long row to hoe. Self-esteem, so essential to this coming of age proces is a tricky thing. Ultimately, it is controlled by self but until one realizes this fact, most allow others to control self resulting in self-esteem being anything but controlled by self. The end result is sadly obvious.

In the case of many black girls, much of their self-image is wrapped up in their hair. Whoopie Goldberg alluded to this fact in her amazing stand-up show many years ago when she created the character of the little black girl who desired "long, beautiful, golden, blonde hair". The hallmark of classic comedy is that it provides a mirror of the souls of us. Unfortunately there are no photos available to prove this, but I was born essentially bald headed and with a strand of grey hair. Two years later, I was joined by a sister who in contrast was born with "Shirley Temple" ringlets. As we grew up, my fine strands of hair never grew long or luxurious while hers on the other hand rivaled the length and thickness of Oprah's oft questioned locks. Looking back on pictures from my childhood, I often tease my mother that because I did not have long, luxurious hair like my sister's she didn't exert much energy keeping it neat and that when she did comb it, she put these giant, heavy barrettes on the stubby little ponytails to make them move when I moved. Yes, you guessed it, I was Whoopie's character who dreamed she would one day have long, beautiful, golden, blonde hair.

As the ritual goes, I went through the hair rites of passage of most black girls. Press and curls from about five years of age onward, thinned already fine hair. I loved these press and curls, because they made my hair smooth and now I could have curls and bangs. I was getting closer to realizing my dream. Thirteen brought my mother's approval for a perm which moved my cause even further along as I continued my quest for long, beautiful, golden, blonde hair. Somewhere in the middle of all this, things started to really get warped.

All of the hoops I was jumping through to realize my quest came with added responsibility. Press and curls dictated a maniacal avoidance of the summer sun and water that I loved dearly being a water-baby born under the sign of the fish. Perms required a major investment of time and money and a life spent at the mercy of beauticians who had little if any respect for my time or money. In my quest for long, beautiful, golden, blonde hair I had found that I was becoming someone other than who I wanted to be.

Going from bad to worse, enter BOYS! A girl and now a woman who has a craving for the brothas exclusively, I was willing to have my physical appearance somewhat dictated by what those beautiful black boys and later men, found attractive. Now this was not apparent on the surface as I was a dedicated tomboy and swimmer who projected the image of not giving a damn what anyone thought about her appearance. However, whenever I did change my hair it was never without the thought "What will the boys think? Will they think this is attractive?". There was never a time when I failed to "get the guy" that the thought that "If I had longer hair he would have found me attractive", didn't find its way through my skull in some format.

Next, enter corporate America. Trying to get in where I fit in came with problems of its own. Having gotten closer to fulfilling my quest of obtaining long, beautiful, golden, blonde hair by graduating from the perm to braided extentions left unraveled at the ends and subsequently able to be curled, I now wondered as I prepared to interview whether or not they would be considered acceptable in the lily-white corridors of corporate America. Adopting a better-safe-than-sorry attitude as I tried to secure a baller job that would ultimately deliver a key to the Vice President's bathroom, I removed my extensions and opted for a more commonplace and conservative version of my previous perms.

Worse however was not as bad as it could get as weaves exploded on the scene. "Wait a minute", I thought. "Here is the answer to all of my prayers. I can have long, beautiful, golden, blonde hair if I want. I can. I really, truly can." So I did just that; minus the blonde that is.

It was shortly after this phase began that something happened that changed me. I ended a relationship that had been on-again, off-again for the better part of fifteen years. I was just a few months shy of my 39th birthday. I finally began to see myself for myself for real, perhaps for what was the very first time ever; and I did not see the person I would have expected to see based on what I wanted for me.

I am a woman who is a lover of all things natural. I am at my best when gorging myself on all the texture life holds. (Bandana photos taken today, February 2, 2008)

I am casual, and in my natural state, quite low-maintenance to boot and above all else, I understand that life is short and therefore should be savored. I get that we are each given our own individual blessings and if we take the time to notice, understand, and appreciate them, they will give to us everything they were sent to bring.

Why then, I found myself asking was I going through all of these kniptions with my hair considering that in all the time I had been caring for and making decisions regarding my hair I had never once been satisfied with the result; nor did I ever feel it was representative of me or the image I choose to project. This was when I first saw the parallel between learning to be at peace with me and learning to be at peace with my hair. It was the same journey. A journey that required enough life experience to get to know who I am, what I am, who and what I want to be, and what it takes to realize all of those things.

My mother turned my hair over to heat and chemicals before I ever had the chance to become acquainted with it. I pretty much did the same with myself I realized now as I look back and recognize all of the times I tried to be what I thought others wanted me to be instead of choosing for myself who and what I was. I chose to continue that pattern until those processes controlled my locks and my life for the better of thirty-five years. Now, I have chosen to eliminate these elements from my haircare regimen and also from my life. It is ironic to see the amazing growth spurt my hair is undergoing now after all the years of hearing how my hair was too fine, thin, and fragile to grow long and strong like I desired. It is just as amazing to see the change in myself as I become more and more comfortable with and enamored of the woman I am becoming. Since allowing and encouraging my hair and myself to return to our natural states I have been introduced to textures I didn't know it had and freedoms I didn't know existed. At the same time, I have discovered truths and falsehoods about myself that I would have sworn before could not exist inside of me.

So at 42, soon to be 43 I am finally and at long last doing what I do for me. I sometimes hear sistas I respect make comments about the nappiness of my hair; their comments bead up and roll off me like rain off a freshly waxed car. My boss and corporate America are falling in line as I have left them no other choice; the decisions here are mine to make. As for those beautiful brothas I spoke of, many will and have decided to pass on me and the napps and you know what, that's alright with me as I'm quite sure in my own hard-won self-esteem that those particular brothas don't have the strength of character necessary to hang anyway. As India Arie sings so eloquently,

"I AM NOT MY HAIR".

However, now that I have attained HAIR PEACE, I am more me than I ever was before which means now I can allow my self to have HER PEACE.

INDIA ARIE AND I WISH YOU

HAIR PEACE TOO!

(So do you, whatever that may mean ;)

Click HERE for the poetic version of this journey which I have entered into a poetry contest on the amazing blog

"Bloggers' Delight...To Write"!!!