The APOLOGY....A Lost Art?

It occurs to me that much of what we are taught in school is useless and the things that would really be helpful to us are never taught. Things such as managing our finances which could make life as adults so much more stress-free and enjoyable are overlooked in favor of Calculus which unless you are on your way to rocket scientist land will provide no advantage to you in the real world. One of the things that should be taught to every individual on the planet is the art of being a participant in an apology. Note that I said the art of being a participant in an apology and NOT the art of apologizing. In my opinion, most folks do not excel at this activity and from my observations, it does not seem to matter if one is the individual making the apology or the one to whom the apology is being made; typically, they both suck at the job. So I thought I would take some time to share some thoughts on the art of participating in an apology in the hope that I might be able to help others in some small way.

To start, here are a couple examples where participants in apologies have lost their way:

1. "I'm sorry for whatever it is that you think I did to you?"
2. "I know I was wrong but you did the same thing two weeks ago and I didn't say anything about it, but whatever, I apologize if it will make you shut-up."
3. "Just because I accepted your apology doesn't mean you are off the hook; you owe me."
4. "I accept your apology but I don't forgive you yet."

Apology: a justification or defense of an act or idea, from the Greek apologia (απολογία). An apology can also be an expression of contrition and remorse for something done wrong. An example would be: "I apologize for stealing your carrots, please forgive me!"

One of the fallacies of most of the world's thinking about apologies is that the individual making the apology is not sincere if they in any way attempt to offer an explanation of how they ended up in the predicament requiring an apology [i.e. What do you think when you hear the following, "See, what had happened was..."]. As is evident by the Wikipedia's definition of the word apology shown above, "justification and defense of one's actions or ideas" can be an integral part of an apology. It is important to remember this when receiving an apology as it is always the right of the "alleged offender" to offer his/her perspective on how what transpired occurred. Allowing the offender to share their perspective or rationale in some cases can make it possible for the receiver to be able to accept the offered apology when he/she might not otherwise have been able to understand the why of what happened.

Another fallacy is the thought that an apology MUST be about regret. Though sorrow may be involved in most apologies, it is NOT a required ingredient. It is possible for an individual to feel no remorse for their actions that led to an injury requiring an apology even though they might feel remorse about having caused the injury. The offender's intent should play some role in determining whether or not to accept an apology particularly when the injury occurred without malice aforethought. Even so, the individual making the apology must be cognizant of the fact that though he/she might not feel remorse for the circumstances that led to them needing to make an apology, they ABSOLUTELY must admit that they were responsible for some level of wrong otherwise, no apology would be necessary. These are the minimal responsibilities of the individual making the apology.

If an individual finds his/herself in the unfortunate position of being owed an apology, even though they are the injured party there are minimal expectations placed upon them as well. This person should take the time to examine his/her true feelings about what the apologizing individual did that necessitated the apology. During this examination of the situation the person receiving the apology should honestly assess the amount of injury that was inflicted, the true intent of the offender, and whether or not they themselves have over-reacted. The individual receiving the apology should be honest with him/herself about whether or not anything the offender might offer to do could truly make things alright again. If the feeling is that reparations can be made to "even the score", the receiver of the apology should decide for him/herself prior to the apology being offered what exactly those reparations should be in order for the offer of apology to be accepted and the injury forgiven.

Finally and most importantly, the receiver of the apology MUST then be ready to forgive the offender effective immediately following acceptance of the apology.

My own experiences and objective observations have shown me time and time again that few view the process of apologizing and accepting apologies in the same way that I do. Society at large seems to view the process of apologies as anything but a serious matter as is evidenced in pop culture [i.e. Ruben Studdard's attempt to apologize in advance for all of 2004]. Personal experiences that I have had demonstrate that most people not only expect apologies to be filled with a level of grief and remorse that few of us truly feel outside of funerals, but also, that offering any semblance of an explanation of one's own rationale or reasoning invalidates the entire apology. Additionally, in most cases it is a virtual impossibility to offer an acceptable apology because the individual to whom the apology is being offered has absolutely no idea of what they require to deem the apology acceptable. I definitely understand the notion of "different strokes for different folks", however I find it very hard to comprehend this idea of grudge holding. If an apology is accepted, that in essence means that all is forgiven and bygones will be allowed to BE GONE!

So, in an attempt to improve the appreciation of the art of the apology from both perspectives, I have developed a list of dos and don'ts.

When making an apology:

• DO be sincere. Sincerity is essential to a good apology.
• DON'T offer an insincere apology as the lack of sincerity makes any attempt at apologizing a waste of time for everyone involved.
• DO be specific about EXACTLY what it is you are apologizing for. If indeed you believe you were justified in taking whatever the actions were that led to the need for the apology to be made, feel free to offer a brief explanation. Focus on the fact that even though you felt your actions were justified, you regret the outcome of the situation and are willing to do whatever is agreed upon by both parties to repair the situation.
• DON'T place too much emphasis on trying to explain yourself as it may in actuality read like a lack of accountability on your part.
• DO understand that the person to whom you are apologizing feels that he/she has been injured and because of this may need some time to decide if he/she can accept your apology.
• DON'T rush the person to whom you are apologizing to accept your apology.
• DO allow yourself to forgive yourself regardless of whether or not your apology is ever accepted as you are really not a bad person even if you were in the wrong in this situation.
• DON'T assume that your apology will be accepted. Extending an apology is NOT a guarantee of acceptance of said apology and it most certainly doesn't guarantee forgiveness.
• DO move on regardless of the outcome once you have made your best attempt to repair the injury.

When receiving an apology:

• DO proactively set expectations relative to the elements the apology must contain in order to be accepted.
• DON'T wait until the apology is taking place before you set your expectations as this will cloud your thinking and you should determine for yourself what is necessary to make things right as you are the injured party.
• DO allow the person extending the apology to explain him/herself.
• DON'T allow said explanation to become a "Jedi Mind Trick" that leaves you feeling everything was your own fault.
• DO decide if the offered apology is sufficient to repair the injury you experienced or not and use that as the basis for accepting or refusing to accept the apology.
• DON'T accept the apology if it is deficient in any way that is important to you as you will be resentful and feel taken advantage of in the long run.
• DO expect that if the apology is accepted you MUST forgive the injury and NEVER bring it up again.

These are the minimum responsibilities of each individual participant involved in the process of offering and receiving an apology as I see it. I would love to hear your thoughts whether they differ from or are aligned with my own. Please drop a comment as I am interested in the perspectives of others regarding this issue.

In closing, properly extending and receiving an apology in my opinion is fast becoming a lost art. In an attempt to build greater interest, appreciation, and participation in this art, I offered this post. If however my perspective doesn't offer as much insight as you might need regarding making a good apology, there is always this website which you can utilize as a last ditch effort. Unfortunately, the website one can utilize to properly accept an apology and move on is yet to be developed; so until further notice you're on your own in this department!

I am sorry that good apology etiquette has become a lost art and I hope that I have played at least a small role in bringing it back to its former glory.

Just Exhaling....525600 Minutes Later

Under normal circumstances, the PO does not routinely read this blog. Occasionally I send him the link when I have written something I want him to see. I will not be sending a link today because though these are probably the things I should be saying to him, I don't think I can without my intent being misconstrued. If by chance you do ever read this my love I hope you will absorb it in the spirit that it was written; not as an accusation or condemnation but as a way of relieving my mind of some weighty issues that I did not know what else to do with.


I need to talk. I need to clear my head. That is not what this blog is usually used for, but right now I need to talk but I don't want to talk to anyone directly. I just need to say some things that are on my mind that I can't or don't want to actually say out loud to anyone. I just want to say them.

I am in love. I know it without a doubt. It is not something I question because every single cell in my body is over-stimulated with the force of the feelings I have for my PO. At 42, this relationship has me feeling like a teenager. The sheer intensity of it scares the hell out of me, and that doesn't even begin to touch the surface of the emotional roller coaster I am riding right now. If one could graph a curve representing the emotional highs and lows I have experienced over the last year, neither the peaks nor the valleys could possibly be charted. It makes me dizzy. I am constantly trying to get my equilibrium in check.

On one hand, this is a great thing. It is so passionate and I get to feel everything I feel to the maximum level; so when things are good, it is exhilerating. On the other hand, when things are not good, it is exhausting. Right now, things are not good. I keep thinking of the phrase "trying to sleep in the bed you made", and I wonder if that is what I am doing, trying. Please don't get me wrong, I don't have any hesitation about sleeping in this bed as I didn't make it by mistake, I intended to make it; however, I just find myself wondering if this is "the bed" I am supposed to be sleeping in. I wonder if a couple that is "right" for each other would have to try to sleep in the bed they made. The problem is that I know what I want, and he is it; nevertheless, I wonder often if I am really what he wants?

I'll say it again so that there is no confusion: I love my PO. I have no questions about his rightness for me; I just wonder if I am the right woman for him.

As I think back over my relationship history, I recognize the fact that I have not often if ever considered whether or not I was right for the person with whom I was involved; I have only taken into consideration whether or not he was what I believed I wanted/needed. For the most part, that has been my perspective in this relationship as well. Now, I find myself trying to understand what it is he needs? What does he want? Am I the woman who can provide those things? I can't answer these questions because I am not sure I know what he wants or needs; I'm not sure he knows for sure right now. The thing is that as my PO and I try to navigate the process of combining our individual lives into a joint one, I am beginning to see things in myself that I know I can't change and that he doesn't necessarily embrace. The reverse holds true as well, and subsequently, issues arise due to miscommunication, unspoken expectations, and baggage from previous relationships. Though we work hard at finding the middle ground on these issues, I feel that for some of these issues there really is no middle ground. I'm alright with this because I CHOSE to commit myself to my PO understanding and EXPECTING him to come with "imperfections" some of which would never go away or even improve. I am not sure that my PO operates from the same perspective, as he seems to be willing to throw in the towel a lot more easily than I am comfortable with.

I find myself wondering why that is and what it means. Does it imply that I love him more than he does me? Am I more committed to the relationship? Am I more invested and consequently do I have more to lose? OR, am I living in a fantasy land of "trying to sleep in the bed I made" while he is living in the reality of "life without rose-colored glasses"? Is what I deem "commitment" really just an excuse not to deal with a situation that may have run its course? What can I discern from his "call it quits" attitude if anything? AND, am I over-analyzing everything or is this just another of the basic differences between us?

I talk a lot. I know this; those of you who know me and those of you who don't actually know me personally know this. This is not something that is likely to change and I know better than to even consider trying to curb the impulse. I am a person who has very definite ideas and opinions about every thing and I make decisions relatively quickly. I know what I want, and don't hesitate letting others know what I want. I don't often find myself second-guessing myself and am typically ready to move to the next thing pretty quickly. I don't get angry easily or often, and when my anger flares, it passes quickly. I don't prolong anger. I don't wallow in it. I don't hold grudges. I have been accused of being confrontational, and I don't deny that I am. However, my tendency is to confront the issue whatever it is and move on. I am very open about myself, my feelings, and my life. I love hard. I CHOOSE to love those I love. When I CHOOSE to love someone, everything I am and have is invested into that love. When love doesn't work out the way I hoped it would I am annihilated. This is who I am.

I know my PO loves me. I know he cares about me. I just am not sure he can love some of the many parts of me that make me the me that I am. Thus, it is not my characteristics that make me question my suitability as a mate for my PO; it is his response to these parts of me that are not very likely to undergo significant change that cause me to wonder if I am the right woman for him. I know that I am ALL IN as far as this relationship goes. I am totally committed to my PO and us having a life together. I have CHOSEN this man with all of his imperfections. I am content to let some disagreements and/or dissatisfactions go unresolved indefinitely because my need to just be with this man is stronger than my need to resolve every issue that we have. I hope he feels the same, but sometimes I think people stick because of a self-imposed obligation they feel. Sometimes I think people move too fast for themselves and then try to stay the course out of fear of hurting someone they care about. I hope this is not the case, but I wonder. If he were to tell me that this is the case, I would love him and myself enough to let him go. I would be annihilated, but I would do it.

I know he loves me, he tells me all the time. I wonder though if he loves me enough. I wonder if he loves me enough to accept that I love him and with him is the only place I really want to be. I wonder if he loves me enough to hang on to me through whatever shows up on our horizon and to never let go. I wonder if he loves me enough to try to comfort or support me during my times of need even when those times occur on the same day that I have made him so angry he feels like he wants to explode. I wonder if he wants me and wants to be with me in the all-consuming, can't think, can't breathe way I want to be with him. I wonder if what he feels for me is strong enough to allow him to override his cynicism about women and relationships in general and accept that I am only interested in what is best for the both of us. I wonder if [in spite of whatever his pessimistic nature might be telling him] he can love me enough to accept that I have only one agenda and it is not hidden: to be with him.

Then again, I wonder if he cares enough about both of us to get out of this relationship if it is not what he truly wants.

525600 Minutes.....Part Two

This is the graduation photo of a young lady named LaVena Johnson. Though she and I are both natives of St. Louis, Missouri (the "show me" state), and might even have been neighbors at some point as she and I both have lived in Florissant, one of St. Louis' largest suburbs, we are not acquainted. As it stands, I was only introduced to Ms. Johnson two days ago by way of this post on my pal DP's blog, "Parrish, The Thoughts".

You may be wondering, why I am writing a post in my 525600 minutes series about a young woman I didn't even know existed a year ago. The answer to that question is simple, it is because a year in the life of this young woman made such a profound difference to her and her family that it has compelled me to want to spread her story.

Ms. Johnson, an "A" student at a local high school here in St. Louis graduated as expected, but instead of going off to college, she chose a different road. She decided to join the United States Army in order to earn the money to help pay for her own college education. Ms. Johnson was inducted into the army, successfully completed basic training, and inside of that year, found herself at the inconceivably young age of 19 years old off to serve her country in Iraq.

On July 19, 2005, PFC LaVena Johnson died near Balad, Iraq; she would have been 20 years old just eight days later. Ms. Johnson did not die in combat. Her death has not been deemed accidental. Her parents were told by Army representatives that PFC Johnson "died of self-inflicted, noncombat injuries," and initially they were also told "it was not a suicide." This cause of death is not supported by the findings of the autopsy performed on PFC Johnson nor does it jive with the forensic evidence found at the scene of her death. In the link to the full story on DP's blog you can read all of the particulars of this case and view a well-done local newscast that details this family's struggle to find answers. I truly hope you will click the link as this beautiful young woman and her family have not received the courtesy and respect that her sacrifice deserves.

Contrary to what some might be thinking, this is not a post about whether or not America should be sending our soldiers to Iraq. Of course I have opinions about that issue, but this is a different issue entirely. This post is simply about what our soldiers and their families are owed when 525600 minutes impacts their lives in ways as unimagineable as a year in the life of this particular family has. PFC LaVena Johnson deserves justice and the Army owes her the courtesy and respect of doing everything in its power to help her to receive it by discovering what actually did happen to her. Her family has been irrevocably altered and for what they have been forced to give up, they deserve a full investigation into their daughter's death, an explanation of how and why it happened, and a full apology for having to go to such extreme measures to get what the Army owes to each and every family of a soldier killed while on active duty.

Perhaps the problem here is that Ms. Johnson was just a private and not a high ranking officer. Maybe if she had been a celebrity things would have been handled differently; maybe not. Recall the situation involving Cpl. Pat Tillman, the NFL player who joined the Army and was killed by friendly fire which was at first deemed a combat death. Referring to the difficulties encountered when trying to learn the truth of the circumstances surrounding her son's death, the mother of Pat Tillman was once quoted as having said:
"This is how they treat a family of a high-profile individual,". "How
are they treating others?"

After reading this, if you do nothing else, please click this link which will take you to the website where you can sign the petition to impress upon the powers that be to re-open the case of PFC LaVena Johnson's death. You will also be able to forward the petition to those individuals in your email address book if you are so inclined which will help to spread the word further and faster. The petition has been being circulated since February 21, 2007 and though it had great momentum in its early days, that momentum has slowed significantly so please pass the word to others as well. Together we can bring justice to LaVena and closure to her family.

GOD's blessings, love, and comfort to the Johnson family.

A year in a life can change everything.....

525600 Minutes...A Year in the Life (Part One)

By nature I am an upbeat, happy-go-lucky, optimistic kinda person. Even so, sometimes bad things happen to me. More often though, GREAT things happen to me. I believe that we get what we expect out of life, so I guess according to that view one could say that great things happen to me because that is exactly what I anticipate having happen to me. I don't know, maybe it is a "which came first chicken or the egg" type of phenomena; in either event, I don't really believe it is important to know why or even how it happens this way as long as it does happen.


Anyway, this approach to life serves me well and makes it easily possible for me to get through the rough patches in my life. At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna, I have been known to live and give the following advice when I or someone I love is dealing with the lowest points in life:

"I know this is hard. I wish I could change that but I can't. However, try this....Think back to one year ago today and try to remember what you were doing, how you felt, and what the major focus in your life was. Now, imagine this date one year from now and try to imagine what you will be doing, how you will feel, and what the major focus in your life will be. Nine times out of ten, a year ago you were not caught up in whatever it is that has you down today; and more than likely a year from now, what you are going through today will be a distant memory. In a mere 525600 minutes, you might have new problems to replace this one, you may have found your way through the cloud that is this problem and be basking in the silver lining inside of it, or you may even have discovered a completely new and unrelated joy. Either way, you won't ALWAYS be caught up in this or feel the way you do right now, and that in and of itself is THE BLESSING."

The last calendar year has been so incredibly pivotal in my life, that I thought I would spend some time reflecting on it and the wondrous impact it has had on my life as well as the lives of those with whom I come in contact. This may take a few posts, but I'll start with the thing for which I am most grateful to have been a part of in the last year.

A year or so ago I wrote the post you will find here. I was deeply caught up in my concern for the health of my oldest brother, and in an effort to make light of the situation, I created the "Top 10 List". . . I remember receiving so many compliments because I was giving my brother a kidney and thinking, "Who wouldn't give their brother a kidney if they could? What's the big deal?" Today, 525600 minutes (give or take a few hundred minutes or so) later, so many thoughts are racing through my head as I reflect back to that time. My brother and I checked into the hospital for his kidney transplant a year ago yesterday. I remember the week before because I was frantically trying to make sure my son, house, and life were in order just in case things did not go as I knew they would. I was NOT afraid; I just wanted to be careful and make sure my bizness was handled just in case. I EXPECTED things to go well and they did. Scratch that, they went phenomenally! And now, 525600 minutes later, my brother's health is no longer my major focus as it was a year ago; yet, I believe it does warrant an update on this blog because so many of you were an integral part of the journey right along with us last year.


My brother had his last dialysis exactly a year ago today, the morning of our surgeries. Typically, it can be anywhere from 6 months to a year before a transplanted kidney begins to function; thus, many transplant patients continue to require dialysis for some time even after transplantation. This was NOT what we expected to have happen in my brother's case; we prayed that his kidney would work as soon as possible. That was what we expected and it was the outcome following my brother's transplant. His new kidney worked immediately upon being transplanted into his body as if it had been there all along. Like I said, you get what you expect.


Last week, my brother called me with great news, his kidney is still functioning wonderfully. So well in fact that the trips to the doctor he has been required to make every 3 months since our surgeries, have now been decreased to twice yearly appointments. Additionally, the weekly blood tests that have been necessary every Saturday since the week following the surgery (to certify that his body was not rejecting the kidney) have now been reduced to once a month. My brother is living the normal, happy life he deserves and planning to go for the first time on our next family vacation cruise in 2008.


From the moment my brother first became ill, I knew intuitively I would help him. I expected my kidney to be a good match; it was. I expected to be able to undergo the surgery and come through it with no residual complications; I did. I expected my brother to be able to go back to living a normal life again after the surgery; he has exceeded every expectation I ever had relative to this. I'll say it again, you get what you expect.


Great expectations are a wonderful thing. I have great expectations. I can have great expectations because of one thing: prayer and faith. I know some of you sticklers are saying "That's two things", and that is where you would be WRONG. They are one thing because neither works without the other. I have faith in my prayers and I pray faithfully; because of this,

I have GOD's permission not only to have Great Expectations,

but also to expect them to come true!

MUST SEE MOVIE!!!!! OPENING WEEKEND PEOPLE!!!!!

PEOPLE PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SUPPORT THIS MOVIE WHENEVER IT OPENS IN YOUR SLICE OF THE UNIVERSE. NOTHING HERE BUT GREAT PERFORMANCES BY GREAT PERFORMERS. PLEASE GO OUT AND SHOW THEM SOME LOVE. THEN, PLEASE COME BACK HERE AND POST A COMMENT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS. TALK TO ME!!!!

You can check out the movie trailer here.

What Makes You Feel Like Doing Stuff Like That?

You Are Periwinkle

You're very intuitive and sensitive. You often know other people better than they know themselves. You're also quite optimistic, and you think well of yourself and others. You know your dreams will come true.

What Color Blue Are You?

Today, was one of those days that was a mix of all things. It was good AND it was bad. It was relaxing AND it was hectic. It was carefree AND complicated all at the same time. As is so often the case when I am frustrated, confused, or just plain confounded in my personal life as I am today, I tiptoed into the lives of others by way of the internet and blogland. Happily, I found a comment from a young lady called Sissy who you can find here. Her comment in a nutshell kinda brought things together again for me. Call it ego if you will, but there was just something so nice about seeing in writing, "I like your style and enjoyed my time here, I'll be back for sure!".

Anyway, I ventured on over to "oh-spare-me", Sissy's blog and found the blue quiz I posted at the top of this post. Now once or fifty-eleven times over the years, I've been told that I'm pretty damned gullible when it comes to things like these quizzes. I am always amazed because they are typically spot on when they describe me based on the answers I give to their questions. I have been told time and time again that these things work by giving broad-stroke, generic descriptors that would apply to the majority of any population being analyzed. Now for all you new friends I am making, let me just say that I am actually one of the sharper knives in the drawer so don't take what I'm saying here the wrong way....I' am not a candidate for the swamp land your great Uncle Dumbass left you; is that clear? Okay with that said, here goes ego alert number two....I BEG TO DIFFER....most of y'all are no periwinkles :b!!!. I know I am periwinkle (and proud of it too dammit!); but I would also have to say that very few if any of the people I run across casually or get to know in-depthly are made of much of the same great stuff described in this analysis of the periwinkles of the world.

Daily it seems, I find myself wondering why he did that or why she did not do this. I am often asked how I could do such a generous thing as this or why didn't I go tee-totally off when this or that person did such and such a thing to me. It got me to wondering in the words of the old school classic, 'What Makes You Feel Like Doing Stuff Like That?'

I'm definitely no authority, but as they say, I think we are who we are and we do what we do and it is just as simple as that. That being the case, Sissy thanks for your comment this evening, I don't know what made you feel like doing stuff like that, but I sure am glad something did!

Independence Is One Thing But Damn!

First things first, Happy Independence Day!!

Those of you who have visited me here from the start know that I love a holiday. To me, holidays are excellent excuses (though in my case none are needed) to get together with people you love. I await them eagerly and typically I am throwing some shindig or another; but not today. Today I am in Ohio and happily anticipating sharing my first summer holiday with the family of my intended. As I said, I love holidays.

Now, to the real point of this post.

I realize that today is the day on which we as a nation celebrate our collective independence, and that is a very good thing to celebrate. Each and every one of us as American citizens are entitled to celebrate the history of our country's emancipation and those who made the freedoms we enjoy possible. However, in the midst of our celebrations of our independence, I find myself wondering if just maybe we have become too independent?

This morning, even though I am in a different physical environment, I undertook my usual routine which includes a quick news run-down on the internet. I was saddened to read of an incident involving a woman who was stabbed in a convenience store full of people none of whom offered her any assistance. This poor woman was left to die on the floor as patrons of the store stepped over her; one person even stopped and used his/her cell phone to take the dying woman's picture and even then offered no assistance or so the article went.

IMAGINE!

For the horrible isolation and pain that woman must have felt as she lie on that floor and bled to death, I am so sorry. No one should feel that in the midst of others. My prayers and condolences go out to her and her family and I hope her murderers will be punished. As bad as the people who perpetrated this crime are, I personally believe that those in the store who were aware of her predicament and still offered no assistance are a very close runner-up for the "Damn! Am I A Tragic Waste Of Skin" award themselves.

What could these people (and I use the term loosely here) possibly have been thinking. Have we become so independent that we don't feel any responsibility to offer assistance in such a dire situation? Have we really become so "me oriented" that we can look ourselves in the mirror after having witnessed such an incident knowing we did not do all in our power to come to the aid of another? I don't know how those individuals were able to do what they did in that situation. Maybe there were extenuating circumstance of which I am unaware. Maybe....I think its doubtful, but I sure hope there were.....it would just make me feel better.

In any event, I for one am longing for the days of community that would never have allowed such a thing to happen. I'm remembering with a fondness that I never would have guessed I'd ever feel a past neighbor of mine, Mrs. Hopson. She was a crochety, old woman who lived next door to me when I was 12 years old. She had a beautiful home and yard and no children. She would spend her days sitting in her front window yelling out to the kids in our neighborhood to get off her "sidewalk grass"....you know, the grass by the curb that actually belongs to the city. Anyway, back then I believed I hated that old woman. Now, 30 years later, I realize something I did not know then, she was one of my protectors. What I know now that I didn't know then is that with the Mrs. Hopsons of the world around, we were safer than we are without them. Though she would have snitched to my Mama in a hot minute if I stepped on the line let alone over it, she also would have seen and interfered with anyone trying to bring harm to me or any other kid in my hood. I assure you, that no kid ever went missing on her watch; and if any harm ever did come to any of us, Mrs. Hopson would have been the first to offer aid and then would have offered a more complete incident report to our parents than any emergency room could have provided. Though independent, Mrs. Hopson and those like her still get that we are a community and owe allegiance not only to our flag and country, but to each other as well.

So as you celebrate our country's independence and maybe even your own, please make an effort to understand that independence and isolation are not the same thing. We are all interconnected and so as you celebrate this theme of independence today, also celebrate the Mrs. Hopsons who have crossed your path because in them, we are able to see the best example of independence.....the ability to choose to stand up.

Happy 4th of July to you Mrs. Hopson wherever you are now.... I Love You and those like you!!!!

Where Is Sharon, Where Is Sharon? There She Is, There She Is....

Since 2007 began, I have traveled to Dallas (twice), Chicago (twice), Ohio (three times), Omaha (0nce), Wichita (once), Puerto Rico (once), and Newark/New York (once). The fact of the matter is that I am a wanderlust. I love to go, to see new things, to meet new people.

While in Dallas, I visited with family [shout-outs to Junior, Diane, and Jodie], and tried to get a face to face meeting with one of the smartest bloggers I read DP of "Parrish, The Thoughts" and his fiancee Diva E which unfortunately was not to be.


In Chicago, I laid my head at one of my favorite hotels, The Intercontinental and had my first experience with a Hard Rock Hotel [which I found to be fun and a bit off the beaten trail as hotels go]. While there I also finally got to experience the stage production "WICKED" which I had been trying to catch for the last couple of years. I highly recommend it [even if like me you were unable to get into the book] especially if you, like me, are a lifelong fan of "The Wizard of Oz". It is a prequel that is as far away as you can get from what I would have imagined the backstory to be.


In Ohio [Columbus and Springfield], I spent time with the PO. Some of that time was quite difficult as we navigated some of those relationship moments that make you wonder if GOD's plan for two-by-two is way off the mark. Some of that time was representative of the most peaceful and contented moments I have ever spent on this planet and made Ms. Just Write Now feel as JUST RIGHT as she is ever likely to feel. All of that time was invaluable in bringing me ever more closely to absolute certainty that the PO is the one for me.

My jaunt to Omaha was all about the business of business. A quick meeting with my boss that solidified what I already knew, Ms. Just Write Now has hit her stride on the corporate track and things in that area are going along according to plan.

Wichita and Puerto Rico were both the result of the second gig I have taken on this year to earn some extra cash on the side so I can get myself more quickly to the Nirvana of good credit and solid financial footing that one of my favorite bloggers [Chele] spoke about in this recent post, "Reflections" on her site. Blessed by a good friend [that would be you Lacey] who referred me to this opportunity, I have been too busy to blog because of the impact of this gig on my personal time. Though I am a woman who works for a living and enjoys her job, I am not a woman who would work if she did not have to. I assure you that I could make my life even more meaningful and fulfilling if I did not have to punch a clock. However, if one must work or heaven forbid take on a side gig to get the things done that have to be done, this is the way to do it! I get to meet new peeps, travel both domestically and abroad, and make a nice piece of change without doing anything too taxing physically [the travel notwithstanding] or illegal. As they say "everybody ain't able" and Lawd am I glad I am.

My most recent trip was just this past week to Newark, NJ [business trip] with a side trip into Manhattan to see "THE COLOR PURPLE" on Broadway. The Newark part of the trip was wonderful and enhanced the ongoing career development I have undertaken this year. The trip to Broadway was my first, and being taken and picked-up in a chauffer-driven limousine was definitely the way to go. As eager as I was to see the play [especially on Broadway], I must say that Oprah has once again proven that she and I have very different tastes. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the play/musical for what it is worth, and I thought that Fantasia did a wonderful job [surprisingly considering I was embarassed on her behalf after watching the lousy acting job she did in her Lifetime TV biographical movie]. However, the overall impact the play had on me was that it left me with the question: "Why?" I will be happy to be more specific if requested but I don't want to be a spoiler. Suffice it to say that Oprah and the powers that be chose to focus in on angles that in my opinion did nothing to enhance the story or capture its true spirit. Perhaps I love the book and movie too much to make room in my heart for any other interpretation.....perhaps, but methinks NOT!!!

After all of this wandering, I am finally home again. I can sit in my yard/park and smell the smells of my home and city. I can sleep in my bed, and play with my dog. I can see the flowers that I planted and jump in the car and drive over to my favorite local restaurant, bar, or shop. I can change my mind about what I want to wear, and not have to worry that I did not bring the desired article of clothing with me. I can open my eyes and on every single day allow them to focus on the most beautiful creation me and GOD [oh and his Daddy too ;)] ever made, my son's face. As much as I love life as seen from inside a suitcase, I must say, that Dorothy said it best:

There Really Is No Place Like Home!

Still On Probation and STILL Loving It! The PO too ;)

TRAVELS by Ms. Just Write Now (3/2007)

Our future you held in the palm of your hand
A ticket to discover strange new lands.
It became apparent not long from the start
That a love explorer did not dwell in your heart.

The thrill of the journey, You, did not excite
The peaks of love's mountains lost in the valleys of fights.
The oceans served only as gulfs, separating our hearts
Their waters always choppy kept us apart.

On the rivers and streams of love's wondrous world
We never flowed smoothly but seemed to be hurled
From one bank to the other until broken and bruised
We emerged from love's waters barely surviving our cruise.

The deserts, no fascination for you, could provide
Endless sand, drought, and thirst were all you derived.
Never seeing the potential of this fluid-deprived land
You couldn't imagine the castles we could build in the sand.

The light of love's sun placed its kiss on your face
But you ignored this gift that you could have embraced.
A gift so few get, you cursed before noon
But love continued to try, and sent you its moon.

It provided soft light to follow you around
So you could see all the beauty love had allowed to abound.
It rationed its light to display beauteous advantage
But a nod of appreciation you just never could manage.

But STILL love maintained; its goal still not reached
It had found an injured heart and it wanted to teach.
So love gathered its strength and all of its might
Because love NEVER gives up when it knows it is right.

So love continued to send its wonders your way
Showing you more beauty with each passing day.
It sent flowers each morning and starlight at night
Always anticipating your need to take flight.

Love showed its patience, its presence steadfast
Love wanted you to know it would not leave; it would last.
Love sent fragrance you could smell and textures to feel
So you could easily recall love's strong appeal.

Love came from above, below, and around
Love did ALL in its power, You, to surround.
Love decided to keep you in its warm embrace
And planned to take you to its special place.

Where you'd be enchanted by all of love's charms
Love longed to encircle you and keep you from harm.
There, nothing could touch you but love's protective hand
Which would be yours for the taking, no need to demand.

In return for all this, love requests one small favor
That your heart just receive it and enjoy all its flavor.
Race up love's mountains and know that the valleys below,
Hold their very own wonders, and don't hesitate to go

Across love's dry deserts where great things can be built
And sail love's great oceans, and enjoy to the hilt
Love's rivers and streams which may toss you around
But somehow love plants you back on firm ground.

Bask in love's sun and play naked in her moon
Understanding when one leaves it will return soon.
Remember love is kind, not boastful or proud
But don't make the mistake of thinking love won't get loud.

Because love knows when its right, and will stand, and WILL fight
Hanging on to what matters with all of her might.
Love is patient and forgiving and will not stand in your way
If you decide the best thing for you, is walking away.

Love and the wonders of her world are yours for the taking.
Love brings only honesty and has no time for faking.
Love can't be what it's not, but it comes with great power
That will be there for you always, every minute and hour.

Simply reach out to love and yours it will be
Let it into your life and set yourself free.
Regrets, there'll be some, and joy so much more
But you have to reach out and open love's door.

With its tenacity and diligence, love has found you at last.
Now let it soothe and heal the wounds of your past.
Love has finally found you, after a lifetime it seems.

So relax and just bask in the glow of love's beams.

What's going on you ask? Where are they now, you wonder? Well......

The wedding has been called off due to the "trips" the PO and I have taken this year. However, the relationship is still DEFINITELY on, and believing as I do that marriage is a journey and not a destination, I have to say....THIS is a very good thing!!! The probation, the discovery, and the saga continues and I'm loving the trip! Stay Tuned!

Shhhhh! Be Very, Very Quiet

With the lightest amount of pressure possible, she used the tips of her fingers to gently push open the door to her blog. At first, nothing seemed to happen....the door would not give. Then, as tiny dust particles dislodged themselves from the door and fell into her unprotected eyes, the door began to give. She hoped it wouldn't squeak thereby sounding the alarm that after an unplanned absence of more than six months, Ms. Just Write Now (LOL) was attempting to SNEAK unnoticed back into blogland.

I mean what was it she was expecting after all? Did she dare believe that those she had come to know by way of their regular visits to her blog would still be waiting on the other side of the door she had almost allowed to rust shut forever? Did she imagine herself to be so loved that there they would be still waiting for her next post? Was her ego so out of control that she really believed that those who had given her exactly what she wanted [a regular readership] for so many months, would be willing to give themselves to her again; especially considering the callous treatment she had visited upon them? Surely no one could expect so much; not even Ms. Just Write Now who had not seen fit to "just write" in months.

No, she didn't expect any of those things to be the case. She only HOPED that with some consistency and dedication on her part, some of the blog family who had come to know [and in some cases love her], as well as some new friends and family who might just now be making her acquaintance will drop by from time to time so that she might once again make them know how very much their visits mean to her.

I'M BACK....I HOPE SOME OF YOU WILL NOTICE AND FEEL THAT IS A GOOD THING. I MISSED YOU ALL!

Maybe This Post Proves I'm A Racist But....

Today was one of those days that I sometimes have that just trip me out.

I work in corporate America. I'm a "suit chick". Everyday, I get up, I get dressed in corporate gear I simply can't wait to discard as soon as my "9 hours" are paid to the man, and I go to work. I spend the bulk of most days moving in and out of healthcare establishments in and around the St. Louis area where I try to convince healthcare professionals that I am a value-added resource in their offices. Most days, I truly enjoy what I do; and in actuality, today was one of those days. At the same time, today was ALSO one of those days that just trip me out.

With the ground breaking ceremony this week for the first memorial to an African-American on the National Mall, maybe I'm just a little more likely to notice what I will term "racial oddities" for lack of a better term. Today it seemed was a big day for me for noticing just such things.

It started while I was in a conference in one of the cancer centers in which I work. Very often, it comes to pass that I am the only African-American individual in any room in which I happen to be. Such was the case this morning. About midway through the conference, I looked around and realized that in an auditorium in which approximately 40 people were gathered for a conference, I was the only black person present. Now this is as I have said, often the case; and more often than not, it does not even enter into my conscience thoughts. However, as I sat in that particular room this morning, I realized that the Cancer Center in which this particular auditorium was housed was smack-dab in the middle of a residential area of St. Louis that has historically been predominantly African-American, and here I was sitting in a wilderness of white folk. I had an overwhelming urge momentarily, to stand up, interrupt the presenter's lecture, and point this fact out to the crowd at large. Somehow, as most of us seem to do whenever this feeling hits us, I contained myself. Still, it tripped me out....

About two hours later, I found myself at another Cancer Center located in the heart of St. Louis, another predominantly African-American populated area of town, when a similar situation presented itself. I was taking the elevator to the 14th floor to call on an account. Upon entering the elevator, I became conscience of the fact that I was once again the only person of color [read: BLACK] in the elevator. This time, I could not contain myself....I don't know why. First, after the realization hit me, I laughed out loud. I truly could not help myself. An older, white woman smiled at me when she heard my laughter. This prompted me to ask her if she wanted to know what had made me laugh. She nodded, and so I explained, "It just occurred to me that I am the only black person in an elevator filled with 9 white people. None of you seem to have noticed, but for some reason I did. I find it funny that even fifty years ago, I would not have been allowed to consider entering this elevator with the rest of you, and if by some chance I had chosen to enter anyway, the trip down would have been much faster for me than for the rest of you." Maybe it was mean on my part to remind them of their ancestors' ugly past. Maybe it was racist of me to trap them in my own brand of racial ugliness. Maybe it was just stupid, or a combination of all three. Whatever it was, it was as if E. F. HUTTON had spoken in that elevator....everyone was listening, and a pin dropping would have made a deafening thud.

I have often wondered if white folks ever notice it when there is only one black person in a room filled with them. I wonder if they ever wonder if we feel out of place or uncomfortable; and if so, if they ever make any overtures to try to alleviate some of our discomfort. Now I will be the first to admit, that most of the time I DON'T EVEN NOTICE; but still I wonder, do THEY ever notice at all. Being a woman who has many close friends who happen to be Caucasian, I have often considered how they would feel if invited to personal events/celebrations of mine [i.e. family picnic, wedding, etc.] where they would be the only or one of few white folks present. Usually, I invite them anyway; and whenever I do, I make a concerted effort to make them comfortable and to include them into a welcoming group. I don't know if the same consideration is given to my comfort or inclusion when the situation is reversed.

Well, to finish relaying today's adventure:

At this point, the doors opened, and though we had only reached the eighth floor and there were several other floor numbers selected between the 8th floor where we were, and the 14th floor where I was headed, all but one of those people got the hell out of that elevator on the 8th floor [including the woman who had been so charmed earlier by my laughter]. Hmmmmm, I wonder why? Maybe, I'm not the only one tripped out by these racial oddities sometimes....I guess I tripped them out too!

Oh well, what the hell....maybe this post proves I'm a racist but I wonder....

The Muse Is Alive And Well!!!

NOVEMBER IS HERE, and that means two things....and neither of them revolves around Turkey Day, even though I'm about as thankful as one can possibly be this Thanksgiving, but that's a story for another post.....

1. It is the one year anniversary of the month I began blogging. That's right fight fans, Ms. Just Write Now is one year old this month and to honor this momentous occasion, I will be taking suggestions from you on what I should do on/to/with this blog in the future. I am currently working on a "100 Things You Might Not Know About Ms. Just Write Now" list, and I'm finding it very difficult as I have discovered in this exercise that I just might be Ms. Too Damned Open and Forthcoming as it seems I have few secrets left ;) However, I will forge ahead and come up with some truly useless information about myself that the mass majority of you never ever even hoped to know because afterall, that's what I do ;)
2. NANOWRIMO month is here! For those of you who did not pay attention last year, or simply didn't care, NANOWRIMO is an achronym that is short for National Novel Writers Month. This is a month of madness that if it works, results in the creation of the skeletal outline of what might with just a bit more work, become my personal contribution to the body of literary work that will one day truly produce the ever elusive Great American Novel! NANOWRIMO challenges writers to just forget about plot plausibility, character development, hell, even grammar to produce VOLUME. The premise is based on the belief "dirt will wait until you get around to it so go on and make a big mess...." [note....that is my personal interpretation], so the primary goal is to get it down [50000 words or more in 30 days], and cleaning it up (so to speak) can occur later. So, this is the exercise that I have submerged myself into for the second year running, and it explains that link on the left margin of my site that so many of you never ventured to click in the last year, thereby foregoing the pleasure [or tragedy depending on your tastes], of having read the excerpt from my last year's submission "Motherless Child". Though it is too late to read the excerpt from that venture as it has been removed to make room for the newborn, those of you with any curiosity about some of the madness that circulates and eventually has to be released from Ms. Just Write Now's tragic mind can find a short sample of said madness if you click the NANOWRIMO link to the left. If indeed you do decide to click that link, after you have read what is there, I would appreciate it immensely if you would come back here and share your thoughts about what you read there.

So that's what I'm up to in a nutshell, that and planning the wedding of the millenium. I have been writing posts for this blog and storing them to be uploaded about every three days or so as I am just about ready to go back to posting regularly. So please come by regularly fight fans as I do so love your company. Wish me luck as I tackle the mountain of words that must be compiled to satisfy the hunger of the NANO monster; and if you have the time and/or the inclination, click the link to the left and read the excerpt of my latest literary attempt "DIVERSE DISCRIMINATION".

Ms. Just Write Now out.......

Those THREE FATEFUL WORDS!

I am 41 years old and in exactly 4 months minus a day or two from this day, I will be 42 years old. In that time, there have been many moments in my life when I was granted the opportunity to say exactly what I wanted to say.

There was the time when my boss' boss wanted me, a pharmacist, to make him a cup of gourmet coffee and I got to explain that the only reason he even had the audacity to suggest that I should make the coffee (in the gourmet deli located in the pharmacy where I was the chief pharmacist) was because I was a black female. I went on to point out that had I been a white, male pharmacist, [or technician for that matter], he would have waited for the deli staff to arrive and he would not even have considered asking me to undertake such a task.

Then there was the time that my son Ryan's teacher suggested that he should be put on medication for attention deficit disorder, to which I was able to submit for her consideration that a child who could lie beside his mother for two hours and read quietly to himself while she reads certainly did NOT have ADD. Furthermore, I suggested that maybe she might try to provide more of a challenge in her lesson plans so that Ryan as well as the other children in her class might feel more compelled to give her their attention.

As I said before, I have often had the opportunity to say exactly the words I have wanted to say. Even so, there is one phrase I have wanted to utter for some time ever since I first heard it spoken in one of my all-time favorite movies, "The Color Purple". Though I love this movie and have many catch phrases from it that I have utilized when the appropriate scenario presented itself, I have never been in the appropriate set of conditions for which my favorite phrase was indicated.

Well, will wonders never cease, because suddenly, and inexplicably, I find myself in just such a circumstance. Seemingly without warning and with no apparent reason except that GOD just decided that now is the time, I am finally and definitively on my way to being able to utter my favorite phrase from my favorite movie of all time. "What?", you might ask has caused the stars, sun, and moon to align themselves in such a manner to cause such an amazing opportunity to present itself. Well, it is the result of a very simple proposal. That's right folks, the PO has proposed. Even better, Ms. Just Right NOW! has said YES! And as a consequence of those two events, I will in less than one year (September 1, 2007....our wedding day) be able to utter those three fateful words in the tradition of Ms. Shug Avery before me.......

I'se Marryed Now!

She's BACKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Hopefully, some of you are still checking in here just in case I might show up. I TRULY HOPE SO. If you are, I'M BACK!!!! My mother has been so generous as to loan me the laptop my brother and I purchased for her a couple of years back as a gift until such time as I am able to get my own again.

All is well with me and slowly but surely I am getting back to my old self. I'm back at work and trying to readjust to life without naps! I'm finally out from under the mountain of work that was waiting for me when I got back and beginning once again to be more proactive as opposed to reactive when it comes to my approach to my job.

Things are great with Ryan. He is a starter on his school's varsity football team, and to date they are 7 and 1 on the season having lost only their first game this year. If they win two more games, they will make the state play-offs. The past summer has turned my big little boy into one heck of a responsible young man. He has completely impressed me this fall by getting himself up on his own and off to school on time to pick up the kid he drives in his carpool. He goes from school to football practice following which he drops his carpool buddy off at home. He arrives home around 8:15pm or so and after cleaning himself up and eating, he completes his homework without being told. His grades for the first quarter are exceptional, and as his amazed mother, I could not be more proud. Sometimes in life, we do things the way we are supposed to and get to see the end result of that. My son continues to reinforce the one thing I know for sure, I did the motherhood thing well, and he is no slouch in the sonhood department either!

The PO and I are still going strong. Things are going extremely well, and he is still venturing over the friendly skies down the I-70 connection to St. Louis on average about every two weeks. Though like all things in life, things are not perfect, they are still close enough to perfect that I find myself thanking GOD for the blessing that is my PO each and every day. More to come on this in upcoming posts.

So in a nutshell folks, I am alive and well. As is typical of my world, things are hectic, but as most of you know, that is the pace at which I tend to thrive. I will be posting regularly again barring any unforseen mishaps, and I sincerely hope that you all will come visit me as often as you used to before my unplanned, unfortunate disappearing act.

It Is His Birthday....So Why Do I Get The Best Gift?

I've spoken before about being given gifts that I have in no way, no how earned or maybe even deserved, and I'm here to tell you it has happened yet again!

46 years ago this Friday, a woman I didn't even know was in the process of bringing into the world one of the greatest gifts I would ever receive: The PO. What is even more amazing about the nature of this particular gift, was that even though he was being delivered for me and had been created for me, I had not yet been born myself! Everyday, every single day, I am overwhelmed, shocked, and awed by the amazing wonder and simple beauty of the plan that GOD has for each and everyone of us. To think that even before HE chose to send me to this glorious planet HE had created for us, HE decided to send me a gift to be here to welcome me more than 20 years after my arrival. AND OH WHAT A GIFT HE, MY PO, HAS TURNED OUT TO BE!

For 20+ years, we have been friends; checking in with each other over the years to catch up on our lives and share our triumphs, sorrows, and anything else that happened to fall out of our spirits. For the first time in all that time, we both found ourselves single at the same time this year and decided to get together just because we wanted to see each other and hang out. Who knew the spark would still be there, just as strong as it was when we first met? Since that short visit, he has traveled to see me or I he 5 or 6 times, and each time, things feel even more right than they did the last time. Some might say that we are moving toooooo fast into the unknown. I personally believe that we both realize that we are simply returning home.

Following my release from the hospital, the PO came and spent a week during which I never lifted a finger to do anything for myself. He cooked breakfasts, and made lunches, and prepared dinners, not only for me but for my family as well. He cleaned the kitchen when needed before cooking and cleaned it again afterwards too. If I made a move to get off of whichever sofa or bed I happened to be lying on during that time to get myself some juice or a snack or whatever, the PO would insist on getting it for me reprimanding me for my audacity as he went. Hell, I believe he would have gone to the bathroom for me if he could have (LOL!).

The storms that passed through town the week of the transplant surgery did significant damage to several of the trees in my yard. Without being asked and without any hint of a suggestion that he should from me, the PO took it upon himself to cut up and remove the tree debris from my yard. Keep in mind, that I have a HUGE teen-aged son and come from a large family with many men available to cut up trees if necessary. Unlike so many men, he never suggested Ryan should go out and clean up the yard; my PO took it upon himself never even asking for anyone to assist him, though I did send Ryan out to help when I realized what the PO was up to. I felt like the proverbial "damsel in distress", being rescued by her very own "knight in shining armor". Excuse me if any of you fellow liberated women of the new millenium feel I am setting women back a thousand years, but let me just say, that there is NOTHING sexier than a man who loves you doing back-breaking manual labor on your behalf for no other reason than the fact that he loves you. Even if I do cause the downfall of the movement itself, I'll take it!!!!

On the last night of his visit after we had spent the evening at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert (that I'll never forget and he knows why ;), the PO came through again. My brother gave us a small scare causing us to rush him to the hospital ER about 11pm where we remained until about 3am when they informed us that they would be keeping my brother overnight. When my brother phoned two and a half hours after we had gone to bed to say he needed to be picked-up, my PO got up and dressed and went to pick him up. Though I had told the PO that he should stay home and get some sleep since he was leaving the next day he insisted on coming with us saying that he wouldn't have my brother thinking he didn't care about what was happening to him. And even though we had just gone to bed less than 3 hours before, he insisted on driving to pick my brother up even though there were other people available besides myself who could have done it. Oh my..... Could it really be that finally Ms. Just Write Now might actually be with someone who can make her feel Just Right Now?

The time that the PO spent with me following my surgery was probably the most trying time period I've experienced in as long as I can remember. If you ask me, he has experienced me at my worst as far as I am concerned. Typically the "leader, organizer, ring-leader, mastermind" in any situation, I was a basic wreck. Instead of being put off or run off by the me that was so far from the me he usually visited, my PO stepped up and became the rock I needed to get through my storms. THAT, I will never, ever forget. THAT for me was the best gift I could have received as I've always said that the one and only thing I ever wanted was to have someone who even if he could not fix my problems, would be willing to stand and hold my hand while I faced my problems. In the PO, I seem to have been blessed enough to find both!

So, to his mother who I have since met, I say "Thank You!". To all those who nurtured him along the way and turned him into the nurturing man I am privileged to love, I say "Thank You!". Even to the women who he loved before me; those who filtered through the crap of his youth and then gave him up just in time to be just right for me, I say "Thank You!". But most of all, to GOD, I say "Thank YOU! Thank YOU for loving me so much that you created my PO for me to love!".

To my PO, I say "For 20 years I have loved you, and now I have been granted the profound blessing and honor of having fallen in love with you as well. You have been my friend for almost as long as I can remember, and now you are my love. You have proven your comittment to me and my family in more ways than I can count, and and thus we all love you and you are a part of us. You make me feel like the African Queens from which I am descended every single day. In my eyes, you are the man who is not perfect, just perfect for me that I spoke of in "this post" , months before you and I reconnected. To put it simply:

YOU ARE A GIFT AND YOU BRING ME JOY!

How I hope I do the same for you.

Happy Birthday Baby, I have planned many surprises for this day and I hope you enjoy each and every one of them because you are a KING and deserve to be treated as such!

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, Sharon

PS: Max Loves You Too!

Profile Pic

She's ALIVE!!!!

Hey Blog Fam,

Its yours truly, Ms. Just Right/Write Now! back to let you know that I have survived and at least from what I can see, all is right with the world!

I'm sorry for the delay in updating you all on my status, but the universe conspired to make posting a difficult proposition for a sista. First things first.....

The Surgery:
All went well! My brother and I both came through with flying colors and are getting back on our feet. It is absolutely true what they say about the procedure being more difficult on the donor than the recipient as my brother looks like he could run a marathon and I'm still creeping around dreading physical contact with anything. Following the surgery, I ran a fever for a night or two and also had a temporary failure of my right lung to reinflate. I know, some of you are probably saying "she is so full of hot air, that is probably a good thing." Not to worry friends of mine, the lung is fully reinflated at this point and the Microphone Queen is back in full effect as those of you who stick around will soon see ;)

THE STORM:
As many of you probably already know, St. Louis was hit by severe storms the week of our surgeries which resulted in a wide-spread power outage. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times, yours truly doesn't have bad luck and she doesn't have good luck, just EXTRAORDINARY LUCK!! My house just so happened to be in the area hardest hit by the first two rounds of storms and as extraordinary luck would have it, my brother and I were released from the hospital just in time to enjoy 4 fun-filled days at my powerless ranch! Add to the joy of that situation the fact that my mother fell while leaving my house on the way to visit me in the hospital and broke her wrist in 2 places while my 17 year old cousin [while driving cross town to get perishable food unavailable in our area due to the blackout] was simultaneously involved in a serious car accident resulting in several of her upper teeth being broken/knocked out in addition to her arm being broken. I'm sure you get that this was not a fun time for my family. In the midst of this much confusion, it would be very easy to forget to be thankful for the blessings that had been bestowed upon my family that week; however, we all recognized the DEVIL at work and made special efforts to Praise GOD and THANK HIM for bringing ALL OF US through the trials of that week. We made it through everything that came our way including the apocolyptic conditions caused by the blackout [a topic about which I will blog later when I can upload pics], and found that we were stronger, closer, and more spiritually aware for the experience.

THE KID:
Ryan has really stepped up and helped his Mom and Uncle Dee during this recuperative period. Unbeknownst to both Dee and I until the moment of discharge, we have been forbidden to drive for a full month regardless of how good we may feel before that time comes. Thankfully, my gift of a car to my son and our joint dedication to securing his driver's license prior to the surgeries was a good move as he is now capable of chauffering both his uncle and myself to and from doctor's appointments as well as doing basic household tasks like grocery shopping. It looks like I've "trained him up right"!

THE MAN:
Things between me and the PO are progressing wonderfully, and I couldn't be happier. Following my operation, he arrived in town and along with my best friend Angie [whose dedication to me and my family over the last two weeks requires a post of its own and is worthy of the Congressional Medal of Honor] commenced to making sure that a sista did not lift a finger for any reason. From cooking to cleaning to cutting up the trees that were knocked down on my property due to the storms, my PO proved over and over again that he was "ALL IN" as they say. For me, there are no words to describe the feelings watching him take care of me and my family brought to the surface. Watch out world, I think I may finally be on to something GREAT!

THE COMPUTER:
As you can see, this post has no accompanying pictures which for me is almost sacriligious. At first, due to the power outage there was no electric available to charge my computer. Then, once the power was restored, the cable lines were out an additional week or so. Now, though my family, friends, and home seemed to pretty much survive the storms of the last couple of weeks virtually unscathed, my laptop has not been so lucky. It is unable to maintain or accumulate a charge due to a suspected crack in the motherboard which would cost more to repair than the cost to purchase a new laptop. Thus, I am reluctantly typing this blog post on my company laptop. As I judiciously adhere to a rule of not using company computer equipment for personal projects, this is something with which I am somewhat uncomfortable [I don't need "THE MAN" in my personal life ;)]. However, I don't know how long it will take for me to be able to afford to replace my laptop and not wanting to leave you all hanging indefinitely, I had to make this exception. I assure you, that my procuring a new personal computer is a top priority as I want to begin regular posting and get back to regularly reading my favorite bloggers. Please bear with me through this new challenge, and I promise that very soon, the Ms. Just Write Now you all have shown so much love over all these months will return in all her blogging glory as soon as she can! I'll be checking in as often as I can and hope to see comments left by all of you as you stop through.

Remember....IT IS ALL GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!