Friday, January 11, 2008

Do I Know You???

There is a curly-head LURKER out there who has been waiting for this post for many days now so I hope it is all that she hoped it would be!!!! YOU know who you are LURKER!

You see, the LURKER was the inspiration behind this post. I have known her since she was a young girl still in high school and though almost 20 years separate us in age, she is one of my dearest friends and as close to having a daughter as I am ever likely to come it seems. Even so, it occurred to me that I might very well be her best friend. This struck me as somewhat odd considering the difference in our ages, and I found myself wondering if I was right or not regarding the role I play in her life and this thought led me to an even bigger well as I believe I know her, maybe I really don't know her at all.

I was thrown into a bit of a tizzy as I thought this thought. I realized that even though I've always felt that she and I were extremely close and in some ways we are, suddenly it became clear to me that there are some definite GAPS in what I know about her. Now I know many of you are thinking, "There goes Ms. Just Write Now losing her mind 'cause she ain't all up in somebody's bizness." Though I will admit to a bit of nosiness, I assure you all that that is not the case in this situation. As I thought about my sister/daughter/friend I was astonished to realize that since she graduated college and moved to DC, I know very little about her new life. For instance, I don't know who her friends are and I always knew before. I don't know even who her BEST FRIEND is and considering the nature of our relationship, I find this unacceptable.

She and I spoke last week about this and other things that I no longer know about her, and she too was a bit taken aback to realize how much our relationship and the way we interact has changed. At one point, if she had decided to run away from home, I would have been the person who could have told you why she left, where she would go, and to whom she would turn for assistance. I was shocked to realize at this point that I MIGHT be able to give a motive but might be hard-pressed to do that even.

As I thought about this as it relates to others with whom I have significant relationships, I realized that in just about every case, there are HUGE gaps in how well I know people I love. Therefore, I have resolved this year to really and truly strive to know better those I care about. I will make the effort to become a real part of their lives. I will include them more deeply in my life. I will learn their truest self and share parts of my true self that they might not know exist. Above all else, I will no longer be content with the superficiality that I have allowed to define my relationships.

For some this will be a welcome change. For others it may feel like an invasion of privacy! For me, it will move me one step closer to being the person I want to be: One who is truly engaged and actively participating FULLY in the blessing of life!



Anonymous said...

Ms. Just Write Now,

I think if the curly headed lurker were to read this blog, she might think you are wrong for putting her on blast like this! LOL! But I think she would agree that you are one of her closest and most dearest friends (and that circle is extremely small) she is very excited about getting to know you even more as well!

But, of course, that's IF the curly headed lurker were reading this.