Tuesday, October 07, 2008

To Have vs. To Have Not

Don't worry folks its just me.....

I'm feeling the need to do a little rambling today so bear with me and weigh in if you feel so inclined.

Sometimes giving up something you hoped for is harder than giving up something you actually have. Ever noticed that? I'm not sure why that is, but I know it is true. Why is that the case I wonder? I have some theories.

Wanna hear 'em? Here they go....

Things that are hoped for but not actually realized may be more difficult to "lose" because when they are lost, one loses more than just that thing. The potential of all that might have come with that thing is also lost. The fantasy of finally having what one wants and the impact of having realized that desire is lost. Last but not least, the tangible thrill of getting what one wants and watching what comes with it unfold is lost.

In contrast, when one loses something they actually have, they lose only that thing, whatever it may be. Not to devalue the feelings of loss one in this position experiences, but I submit that those feelings may not be as potent as losing something that was hoped for because the potential of having had that thing has actually been realized. The fantasy of possessing that thing has been one's reality and the impact is therefore self-evident. The tangible thrill of ownership though now replaced by the pain of loss, has still been experienced. Understanding that this is a very simplistic evaluation of losing something one actually once possessed, I still land at the conclusion that one doesn't necessarily lose as much when losing something they have as they do when they lose something they hoped to have. Thoughts?

2 comments:

Anali said...

I agree with you. When you give up the dream of something, it's like you are giving up hope. It's hard to get over something you had hoped for rather than something concrete. Although, that can be pretty hard too...

Luke Cage said...

Hey miss Sharon. I guess there's another way to look at it too. Sometimes we have to give up searching for the dream, for now. Like putting it on hiatus. Maybe? But I feel you. The synonymous-ness of letting the dream go can unfortunately link up with losing hope. But a fine post luv. Missed ya!