Monday, February 27, 2006

bamboozled...Hoodwinked...TAGGED!!!!!


The day following the posting of a birthday tribute to me on her blog that got inside my psyche and bathed my ego like cerebral spinal fluid bathes the brain itself, Ladylee extracted her exorbitant fee by TAGGING ME! In the words of one of my own personal heroes, "I've been bamboozled, hoodwinked, run amuck"! To make matters even worse, when she responded to the Tagging she suffered at the hands of one of our mutual favorite authors Tayari Jones (who I hold at least partially responsible for my own suffering, and one day vengence will be mine), she really went out of her way to be an overachiever which just pisses me off since that's my forte. One of the things I like best about me is that I have always known when to say when...when I've been shown up and can't compete... and when to scream UNCLE at the top of my lungs so here goes:

"UUUUUNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE!"

Now that that is out of my system, I will post the answers to the questions sent to me via this dastardly tagging:

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:



  • Break Relief @ Six Flags Over Mid-America (a.k.a. St. Louis): Assigned to provide coverage during the breaks and lunches for nine employees daily. Cool job because I never did any one job longer than an hour a day.
  • Factory worker: Can't even remember what they manufactured, but I did some iron sautering in the course of making whatever it was I was making. My mom worked for the company and she got me the job during the summer following high school graduation. Of course my mouth got me fired and when she came out at the end of the day to find me sitting on the car waiting with my last check, she wasn't embarassed and simply said "I'm surprised you lasted this long".
  • Lab Technician in a Paternity Lab: Ran paternity studies for child support court system in Nebraska as a work study position during college. To this day, knowing the inside of how these tests work, I crack up when men protest about false positive paternity test results...give up the gig my brotha, there are no false positives!
  • 24 hour On-Call Pharmacist @ a mail order pharmacy that will remain nameless to protect the not so innocent: I carried a pager and took call 24 hours a day for a mail order pharmacy chain which is based in St. Louis. I also worked there full time as a pharmacist. I never would have believed if I hadn't carried that pager, how many errors are made and I often wonder how many are never caught. Warning to all, if you have any doubt at all about the accuracy of your prescription, ask the question, assume nothing; as for me, I'll pick my prescription up at the Walgreen's thank you!

    FOUR MOVIES I’VE WATCHED OVER AND OVER:
  • The Color Purple: Not the most original answer I realize but it definitely tops this list. Who could forget quotes like "I'se married now!", "Next time, I'll put a lil' Shug Avery pee in it...", and last but certainly not least, "Did I ever ask you for anything? Not even your sorry ass hand in marriage!" And the music...Miss Celie's Blues and God Is Tryin' ta Tell You Something...I gotta go watch my movie now, I feel a jones coming down...
  • The Shawshank Redemption: I still can't believe this is a Stephen King novella...but without question, Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins made this flick the joint. I don't care how many times I see it, I still love it, especially the scene when "Andy" plays the classical music and every con in the penitentiary stopped and got some culture!
  • Steel Magnolias: If Sally Field as "Malyn" screaming "I wanna know whyyyyyyeeeee, why I can run from here to China but my daughter can't, she never could" doesn't get you, you're made of stuff I'm scared of. And as a woman and mother the scene where she talks about the beauty of having been a mother: "I realized that as a woman I was lucky. I was there when this beautiful creature drifted into my life, and I was there when she left." No male-bashing here, but that's something no man will ever truly understand.
  • The Mirror Has Two Faces: A romantic comedy with Barbra Streisand and Beau Bridges that I stumbled across a few years ago and fell in love with. The classroom scene where Barbra gives a lecture on the history of romantic love is worth the price of admission and the process through which they travel to the ultimate climax is hilarious to say the least...

    FOUR PLACES I’VE LIVED:
  • Udine, Italy: I was a foreign exchange student in 1981, my sophomore/junior year of highschool.
  • Omaha, Nebraska: I went to college there.
  • Nairobi, Kenya: I was a foreign exchange student in 1988 my senior year of college
  • Atlanta, GA: Yes, Ladylee pick up your chin...though never a true ATLien, I lived there as I was engaged to a born and bred ATLien back in 1988 (the fiance that died of leukemia). As a matter of fact, I took my pharmacy board exams in Athens, GA and my first pharmacy license was actually issued by the state of GA and I reciprocated it to Missouri when I came back home. I worked for Peoples Drug there...sorry, I already answered the question your honor...sue me dammit, its my blog;)

    FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE:
  • Sex and the City: That was my shit! Those four white girls cracked me up with their trifling asses; however, I always wished they had a sista in the mix to keep'em real.
  • Law & Order (Anything...SVU, CI, the original): Sometimes I feel that I need a 12 step program to get off the L&O (LOL) because the "Da-Duhn" has the ability to stop me in my tracks. The thing that really gets me is that these shows keep jostling for the favorite spot in my head...right now SVU is winning but this time next week the original will sweep me off my feet again. Isn't it amazing how self-righteous McCoy can be this week and then in next week's episode, he will be burying evidence and lying to defendants about immunity...I'd rather deal with the brotha in the alley than his non-trustworthy ass, but y'all know I love me some ADA McCoy!
  • Dancing With The Stars: Okay, okay...I know I should be ashamed of myself but I am hooked (i.e. if I miss a week I get DT's [delirium tremors for those with non-addictive personality disorder...and believe me if you are not addicted to something, you definitely have a DISORDER!]). I just started watching this season and once Master P's big club-footed, non-ballroom dancing shoe wearing, rhythymLESS Nation platinum card carrying butt got voted off, I was willing to sacrifice anything to be in front of the TV on Thursday nights...sorry Ryan, it'll be over soon! (Update: I hate that the voters turned it into a popularity contest instead of a dance contest...y'all know Stacy shoulda won!)
  • Grey's Anatomy: Twenty years ago, I used a textbook in my anatomy and physiology class called Grey's Anatomy which I guess is where the show's title comes from. Who woulda believed I would ever willingly tune into anything with that title again? This show is simply awesome, and if you're not watching it, you're missing the best TV on TV. I started watching b/c some folks that I work with said I remind them of the character "Bailey" but I'm nicer. I checked it out expecting to see no parts of myself and imagine my surprise when I had to agree that we are somewhat alike.

    FOUR PLACES I’VE VACATIONED:
  • Disneyworld/Orlando, FL: Who hasn't? Especially fun however was my experience at Medeival Knights in Kissimmee, FL...what could be "funner" than drinking vegetable soup from a gourg and eating roasted chicken with your hands...hmmmmmm
  • Carnival Cruise to Ocho Rios, Grand Cayman, Cozumel: Nothing like a sampler platter, but without question the highlight of this trip was climbing Dunn's River Falls in Ocho Rios with my son, brother, cousin, and nephews [check out pic].
  • Branson, MO: Yes Dammit! Branson can be a vacation. My sister and mother own a time share down there and we all went for five days over the fourth of July weekend a couple years back...Go karting, mini-golf, water parks, horseback riding...come oooonnnnn! compete if you think you can!
  • Carnival Cruise to Freeport and Nassau, Bahamas (twice): Once with my 3 times fiance and once with my gurlz. Paradise Island and Atlantis are no-brainer attractions, but Sammy Davis Jr.'s house on Freeport Island is something to see with its mosaic tiled entry...

    FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES:
  • My Moma's Dressing: Note I said dressing NOT stuffing. This is too good to stuff inside some damned dead bird!
  • My Grandmama's Chili: A Christmas Eve standard at Grandma's house...how many days until Christmas?
  • My Sister's German Chocolate Cake: In my opinion dessert is the most important meal of the day and contrary to my Moma's predictions when I was a child, I never did grow out of my "sweet tooth". My sister's German chocolate cake can bring tears to my eyes just thinking about it. As a matter of fact, I need to call her b/c she's supposed to make me one this weekend as a belated b-day present...gotta run!
  • Chocolate Tall Cake from Ruby Tuesdays: My son and I used to go on dates to the movies and follow it up by going to the Ruby Tuesdays across the street where we would share this too damned big for one person to eat decadent concoction consisting of the moistest chocolate cake ever baked covered with chocolate sauces, whipped cream, Oreo cookie crumbles, and vanilla ice cream to cut the sugar ;) The whole thing is served in a tall, big-bowled sundae glass which is big enough to hold a GRANDE Margarita ( a little point of reference for the alkies in the room ;) and is filled to capacity...

    FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY:
  • Ms Just Write Now's Blog Triple Threat: I'm going to post these ladies as one answer b/c they are intertwined in my psyche in very unique and specific ways: Ladylee introduced me to blogging and challenges me constantly to raise the level of my game, she gots skills that make me mad jealous, and what I wouldn't give to spend a day hanging with her just checking out the people in her neighborhood--Serenity23 makes me think about my role in the world and my obligations on the planet, she keeps me grounded, and Lawd knows I have a ball reading and "blogging" in her comments section, in response to some of the comments she gets to her posts--DJ Diva (a.k.a. DJ Clean Spirit) is the unpredictable one of the bunch. Going to her blog is always an adventure kinda like Forrest Gump's Box of Chocolates: You never know what you're gonna get, but I assure you it will be worth having! These ladies captured my attention the first day I entered the world of blog and have been able to keep me interested...to them, I give ALL PROPS!
  • That Johnson Boy Said What?: I just found my way to this site a week or so ago and was immediately hooked. Thankfully he hasn't been up for very long because my OCD [obsessive compulsive disorder...yeah, another disorder I'm owning up to] kicked in, and I felt compelled to read every post he has written to date. I'm telling y'all, the brotha's got a gift and boy am I glad he chooses to use it! (He ain't using this gift as often as I wish he would, maybe I'ma havta jump on his head like the triple threat mentioned above did me to get his post consistency up!)
  • Cafepharma.com: It's a pharmaceutical industry website which has public comment boards for every company in my industry. It's kinda like the National Enquirer of the industry and though it is filled with some severe dysfunctional negativity spewing from some of the sickest sickos imaginable, history in this industry has shown that the rumors that tend to show up here first usually turn out to be true...Gotta be informed now don't I?
  • Commercebank.com: So a sista's trying to stay on top of her finances y'all...what's wrong with that?

FOUR UNDERRATED TOPICS:

  • The Impact of Economic Solidarity among African-Americans and the value of educating our kids about managing money proactively [i.e. before they screw up their credit].
  • Why pro-lifers should be willing to adopt an unwanted/abused/neglected child or just shut the hell up.
  • What each of us can do to improve the quality of education in the American public schools...even if our own kids attend private school.
  • If everything we eat is ssssooooooo bad for us, why are we sicker as a country now than ever before in history?

FOUR OVERRATED TOPICS:

  • Sports: Now don't get me wrong, I love sports especially football and basketball; but damn! when the game is over...its OVER! Let it Goooooooooo!
  • Is Simon Cowell too harsh on American Idol: Its a damned TV show people...I love to watch it as much as the next guy and try not to miss it, but damned they are trying to keep their ratings up like everybody else and Simon's bull is part of that. Sensitive souls at this point should know what to expect, and if they can't take the "joning" then they shouldn't hang on the corner in the hood!
  • Whitney and Bobby: Enough said!
  • Designer fashions...love my closet as much as the next sista...but damn, did I ask what designer you were wearing...


Four Bloggers that I'm TAGGING:

  • DJ Diva...and just try to wiggle out of complying...don't make me hop after you!
  • K. O. Johnson of "That Johnson Boy Said What?" b/c I simply want to read the creative answers you're sure to have!
  • Youtoldharpotobeatme...because the way we've been vibing, I'm sure to pick up some movies, shows, etc. that I haven't seen before but would enjoy!
  • Nikki Woods Writes because I just found her website and loved it and am hoping that by tagging her she will get back online and start to post again so I can participate! Come back Nikki, come back!

So there you have it...I've lived up to my responsibility and done my duty to mankind, society, and the www at large. This was fun and I hope you guys get a little more insight into the madness that is me. In the meantime, if anyone else is considering taggin' a sista, let me just BEG, PLEASE DON'T...if however it does happen again, I'll simply cross that bridge when I get to it and live to fight another day! ENJOY LIFE!

6 comments:

Serenity23 said...

Sharon, those comments about my blog were so nice.... If I were a mushy person, I might shed some tears. But I try to stay clear of those type things... I don't know that I'm going to complete the tag... Yall have done such a wonderful job of it. And well I'll probably stick to my normal stuff. Smooches & Tootles!

LadyLee said...

Go gurl! Go gurl!!!

Now THAT was funny!!!

"Did I ever ask you for anything? Not even your sorry ass hand in marriage!"

Now THAT was the line of the century!!! And when I asked my sister what she thought my favorite movie was, she said "Steel Magnolias". Go figure!

Yeah, and I KNEW you had a little ATLien in you!!!

Dancing with the stars... *Crickets* (put the microphone down NOW Sharon... you wasn't suppose to say THAT on the microphone!! Even the crickets are cocking their heads to the left over that one!!!)

The cozumel cruise photo: you know the saying... you can't take us nowhere! LOL!!!!!!

Shoot man, you got me all hungry now with all that good food!!! WOW!

Good job, Celie!!!! I'll make sure to tag you EVERY CHANCE I GET!!!

LOL LOL LOL LOL!;)

Sharon said...

@S23,
What do you mean "you don't know if you're going to complete the tag"? Are you insinuating that you think you have a choice?!? Oh noooooooo, my sista...misery loves company so come on over!

The comments re:your blog are from the heart and no tears are required as long as you send the promised check made out to Ms. Just Write Now in the previously agreed upon amount ;)

Don't forget to drop by daily as I will be posting and I'll wanna hear some noise from ya!

@Ladylee,
Careful, you're treading on thin ice hating on the "St. Louis Ghetto Hillbillies Go To Jamaica"! We were simply doing the thang and you know there is no shame in that!

WARNING WILL ROBINSON, DANGER DANGER...Tag me again and you're going to need a robot like Will had to warn you that your seconds are numbered...your robot will sound something like this
***YoYoYo OG, watch yo back G, Deep cover Deep cover!!!

If pics of my Moma and sister's cooking got you all hungry just imagine the impact of being in the same house with them...BTW, Have you had your dessert today?

DJ Diva said...

yeesh...a negrita wakes up to tagging...i'm still rubbing the Cole out my eye LOL

"You are NOT the father"...man I have Maury's voice in my head when i hear those words...and to think u was responsible LOL

"mirror with t2 faces" ? Yikes! Barbara hook nose Streisand...wait I have that kind of nose too LOL

Ladylee is gonna get a 33 up side the head if she call ME Celie again!

Italiano...they having a big problem with reproducing over there in Italy...check it out...it's crazy...population going down literally because men won't leave they mommas...

I dig you topics...you should write posts on them...

Dee said...

That was cute...waaayyy 2 much typing for my 2 fingered peck but cute!!!!! I don't get tagged much cause err body knows I can't type or cut and paste or anything.........hmmmpphh sad I know!!!!!

Youtoldharpo is one of my favorite bloggers!!!! She has been by my side from jump street...cool sista!!!

Thanks so much for the support!!!

Sharon said...

@ DJ Diva,
Yeah my sista, Ladylee is getting a bit carried away with both the "Celie" thing and them damned "crickets" she keeps letting loose on my blog ;)

And since you stated in a comment I read somewhere that you had tagged yourself and was working on a post about it, me thinketh thou needeth to nixeth the complaining about being taggeth by me...DAMN! You ig-eth the illustrious Ladylee the last time she taggeth you as I understand it, so bucketh up and sucketh it up and gets to blogging!

Fed up with the sorry excuse for OE dialogue yet? LOLOL

@Dee,
Hey my sista thanks for stopping thru again...y'all non-typing folks ain't gonna worry me! How the hell does one become a nurse and can't type? DAMN! Typing fed my broke, hungry ass in college (and per your blog, I know you like me loves to get your eat on!) as I made my spending change typing papers for illiterate athletes...shit if my standards weren't so high, I probably coulda gotten one of their non-typing asses to the alter as they woulda signed anything I gave 'em ;)

Glad to see your spirits are lifting and like I said before girl, I've been there. I left my email on a comment on your site a couple posts back and as I don't have it in me to be fake enough to make an offer just to be polite, take me up on it if you need/want to, it wasn't just a gesture!