Ain't Nothin' As Sweet As A Black Man Showing His Love For His Queen...

In a word....HILARIOUS!!!!

Sorry for the long periods of incognito-ism, but I'm traveling a lot and I've been a little under the weather....hopefully I'll be back in the saddle again soon.

In the meantime, peep this....if you haven't already seen it, I'm betting it will tickle your funny bone....it certainly tickled mine ;)

Gabby's Fabbies

This is my great neice Gabriela [Gabby for short] and her favorite great aunt, TeTe (that would be me for the picture illiterate amongst you ;) LOL! Gabby is in a word.....FABULOUS! She is 3 years old and full of the most brilliant light I've ever had the pleasure to see.

A few weeks ago, Gabby and her mother, my beautiful neice Crystal moved in with me. The timing could not have been better considering the love of my life, my BabyMAN Ryan, was heading off to college leaving me to manage living in a house that would have been waaaayyyyyy too quiet without him. With Gabby around, I assure you that things are never quiet for long and that's exactly the way I like it!

Since Gabby has been here, she has said things that have shocked and amazed me and then in the very next moment she has said things that have cracked me up. Sometimes, she does all three simultaneously. With so much material available to me, I have decided to start a regular blog series called GABBY'S FABBIES. Here is the first installation.....

Labor Day weekend, I went to Nebraska to visit my best friend who lives in a small town; Gabby and her mother accompanied me there. On Saturday, my Godson wanted to go to the local college's season opening football game, so I took him, my nephew Justin, and Gabby.

Arriving at the game, Gabby and I sat in the bleachers and as expected, we were the only black folks there. As you can see, Gabby is an adorable child; those surrounding us in the bleachers thought so too. As is the tradition at sporting events in this country, the color guard took the field to the music of the Star Spangled Banner; this is when the Fabby occurred.

Sitting in my lap chattering away with those around us, Gabby looked out on the field and spotted the "stars and stripes". Immediately she became visibly excited, bouncing on my lap and clapping her hands. With the wonderful innocence one possesses only in early childhood, Gabby turned to me and said:

"TeTe!! Look! Look at them! They got them a

AFRICAN-American flag!"

Believe me when I tell you that there are several folks in a small town in middle Nebraska who are nursing whiplashes as we speak. It turns out that Gabby was recently taken on a field trip where she learned a thing or two about Black history and she now claims the stars and stripes as her own in the most literal sense of the word.

Yesterday when Gabby's mother was relaying this story to her teacher as she picked Gabby up from school, the teacher called Gabby over. The following exchange occurred:

Teacher: Gabby, what does the color red mean in the African-American flag?

Gabby: The blood our forefathers shed for freedom.

Teacher: What does the black mean?

Gabby: The color of our skin.

Teacher: What does green mean?

Gabby: Green means GO!

GRACE by definition is....

Have a great Labor Day Weekend Michelle,

Your Work Is Done and a Beautiful Job You Did!!!

Now Y'all Know I Ain't No Hillary Fan But...

I gotta give the sister her props; she DID THE DAYUM THANG!

I'm not gonna rehash the entire speech, but a few things resonated with THIS OBAMA SUPPORTER. Wanna know what they were? Here they go....

First of all, I for one have never seen Hillary deliver a speech as smoothly and as brilliantly as her delivery was tonight. She looked relaxed, she looked composed, and most surprising of all for me, she looked AND sounded SINCERE! Well I'll be dayumed....who woulda expected that?!

The speech writer deserves a huge bonus because he/she helped Hillary redeem herself and her political viability in my eyes. Never one who supported Hillary as a potential VP, I found myself wondering "Why didn't Obama choose her again?" [Of course the answer to that is that Obama likes living!] Anyway, the speech had several classic lines which I will paraphrase (as I don't want to pretend to have them down verbatim):

- My mother was born before women received the right to vote and my daughter got to vote for her mother for President....that is the story of America! (see YouTube #3)

That line gave a family woman / history student like me goose bumps.

- No way, No how, No McCain! (see YouTube #1)

Of course this battle cry will become part of the campaign from here on out.

- ....we don't need four more years of the last eight years... (see YouTube #3)

Love it, love it, love it! Give that speech writer a big bonus check

- Next week George Bush and McCain will be in the Twin Cities which is good because its awfully hard to tell the two apart. (see YouTube #3)

The networks love this one and I am sure will slice and dice it so thinly that we will all wish it never existed.

- The ENTIRE "Keep going!" segment. (see YouTube #3)

Come on now, y'all know she had y'all as soon as she started quoting Sistah Harriet Tubman!

Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, I gotta cut old gurl some slack and give her some props for delivering for my candidate in a big way. Of course the pundits [particularly those of the Republican persuasion] are picking the speech apart and trying to put forward the notion that she still did not address Obama's lack of experience or readiness to deal with the 3am phone call. Whatevah! She said the only thing she really needed to say when she asked her supporters if they were in this for her or if they were in this for all of the people (the mother with cancer who adopted 2 autistic children and has no insurance, the marine, etc.) who need a change in the White House. She then followed up with the statement that her supporters should re-think their positions before voting and ended by announces that SHE WAS VOTING FOR BARACK OBAMA! (see YouTube #2)







The last thing I wanted to mention before I'm out, was the sister who was a staunch Hillary supporter who was interviewed by a CNN correspondent following Hill's speech. I tried to find a video clip of the interview, because this sistah had most certainly lost her natural born mind! She was on the verge of a mental breakdown because Hillary lost the bid for the White House. Girlfriend was all crying over the spilled milk and I for one wanted to reach out and touch her....not in a good way! She irked me from the start, but when she got to talking about how she didn't know if she would be able to vote for Obama [though she would NOT be voting for McCain, she might just have to "not vote". She claimed to understand the sacrifices made to deliver the right to vote to folks like her and me but she was still entertaining the notion of NOT VOTING. I could barely take it, and was so happy to see her interview end. I don't care who a person decides to vote for but once the candidate you support is out of the running, either research the remaining candidates and choose the one who's policies are more closely aligned with your perspective or write in a candidate; whatever you do, please don't give up your right by default!

I'm not a declared Democrat though I will be voting for Mr. Obama in November. However, in the words of James Carville who I love AND love to hate, this was a very good night for Democrats. It was also a very good night for me!

Passion and Desire Baby....

It was less than a year ago, that I first kinda met my real-life [well "virtual real-life"] romantic couple idols....my virtual friends Ali and Zay.

You see, though I have yet to meet either of them face to face and have as of yet never even spoken with the Ali half of this amazing lovers equation, their love story is one that I treasure and place right up there with those of the greats such as Romeo and Juliet, Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, and Thomasine and Bushrod!

I met Zay via the blogosphere, and through him I learned of Ali and his over-arching love for her. If you knew him, even if you only knew him through his blog, you would know of his passion for his Ali for he expressed it effortlessly through his poetry there:

She Used Me

She used my brush to paint a masterpiece on the canvas in her belly
Delicate strokes applied in living color within her flesh
She used my pen to write a novel on the pages of her thighs
A manuscript to be read aloud over and over
She used my marker to write a label across her chest
My name in big bold glistening letters
She used my pillar to support her fantasies
Until I made each one come true
She used my key to unlock her inner self
To be the woman of my dreams
She used my ruler to measure our love
Inch by inch as it grew

She yearned to give me her living heart
Even as it beat within her chest but
Her life is much too precious
So she gave me the key
To it instead

If you could hear the passion in his voice when he speaks of her or the fierce protectiveness that comes through the phone lines whenever he feels that she is in any way threatened by anything, then you would know what it is that I am talking about when I say I can only pray that one day a man [as amazing and in touch with himself as my friend Zay is] will feel that way about me.

Never having actually spoken with Ali, I've heard her voice and the passion it carries for Zay as well via the blogsphere. A visit to Zay's blog before it was closed would have allowed you to witness hauntingly beautiful photography of Ali such as the one I stole up above. Just stop and take a look at that photo for a second will you; even though you can see less than half of Ali's beautiful face, what does what you can see say to you? To me, it says this is a woman in love who is passionately at peace and happily enveloped in the love of the man with whom GOD has gifted her.

A deeper dive into Zay's blog would have led you to this photo and this anecdote about Ali in which her feelings for Zay are painfully clear....

[There are absolutely no words to express how
privileged I feel to be loved as strongly, trusted as completely, let in as deeply as how
Ali loves me, trusts me and let’s me in. The photo above was taken on my first trip to
Jamaica. While Ali and I were together I was very surprised to see her crying. I mean
we were having the most wonderful time in the world and there she was crying. I
asked what was wrong and without looking at me she just said in that soft voice of
hers. “I know you’re not leaving until tomorrow, but I miss you already.” ]
*******************
- as told by Zay of A Lover's Dream

as well as these comments from Zay which demonstrate that he knows exactly where he stands with this woman....

Bad...
Being madly in love with a woman in another country
Good...
The absolute certainty she gives me that she is just as crazy about me. All evidenced by her words, her actions, her sacrifices, and the incredible efforts she puts out to always make me feel that I am the most important person in her life.
Bad...
She lives in Jamaica.
Good...
She lives in Jamaica ;-) 7 trips in 2007. Some people in blogland be hatin' but I still got mad love for ya'll LOL ;-) Besides, very soon she will be here with me and there wont be any more Jamaica trips for a while.

See why these two are my romantic idols? When at longlast I finally grow up and fall in love, I wanna be like my friends Ali and Zay! In my mind, their names could just as easily have been Passion and Desire because to me, that is exactly what their love represents.

As Zay said in the post excerpted above, Ali was scheduled to be here with him very soon. Well blog friends, VERY SOON IS NOW and Ali should already have arrived if the weather and all else cooperated. Oh how I hope she is here so that my friend Zay will at long last have what he has wanted for so very long....his Ali! If indeed she is here, I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome her home and into the family she may not even know she has as of yet.

Ali, please know that though you may feel very far from your own family and what has been home to you for as long as you can remember, you have a home and a family here as well that is looking forward to welcoming and embracing you with outstretched arms. Please feel free to think of me as the long-lost sister you've only just now learned of and know that I am here whenever and if ever you need me and even if you find you don't need me at all.

You have given my friend Zay a joy and a light that I can HEAR in his voice, and a woman capable of giving a light that one can hear when it can't be seen, is definitely a woman I would feel privileged and honored to get to know.

Congratulations to you both, Ali and Zay; and please accept this gift from me via my gurl Jilly from Philly as the very first time I heard this a month or so ago, it brought the two of you to mind. Blessings and continued love to you and the beautiful, black family you will create together.

When Happiness (or what looks like it) Is Not Worth What It Costs....

I don't know if you guys realize this or not, but I am a very introspective person in many ways and as such, I find myself spending quite a bit of time reflecting on events that have occurred during my life and how those things impact me and my outlook. The last few days have been an absolute exercise in introspection for me; let me explain.

I am blessed or cursed [depending on how you look at it], with a really good memory for dates and events. If a date is special to me for any reason, good or bad, I will always remember it. Today, August 18th, is the birthdate of my ex. Over the weekend I was acutely aware that this day was coming and it still carried the significance of being my ex's B-day in my mind. From the moment the thought of his impending birthday popped into my mind, I found myself doing what I do...reflecting back on his previous birthdays.

Two years ago as his birthday approached, I was busy as a bee as I ran around purchasing special gifts for him which I arranged to have delivered along with each course of the delicious dinner I had arranged for us at a premeire restaurant here in St. Louis. I picked him up from the airport the night before his birthday while my girlfriend delivered his wrapped presents to the restaurant on my behalf where they would be stashed until his birthday dinner the following night.

When his birthday actually arrived, as it turned out, we spent the entire day arguing and almost did not go to dinner as I had planned. It was one of the most trying days I have ever spent with anyone as he was angry with an administrator at his college but chose to take out his frustrations on me all day. I remember thinking "Buddy, you are going to feel so badly once you see all of the trouble I've gone to trying to make this a special day for you." I wrote this post about him and how blessed I felt to have him in my life and what I hoped the future held for us. Somehow, we made it through the day and when we finally arrived at the restaurant, we had the best date of our lives together. That was the high point of my time with him....I was happy.

A year later (last year), as his birthday approached, I was at the lowest point I can ever remember in my life. We (read he), had made the decision to end our relationship against my wishes, and I truly did not see how I was ever going to recover from the heartbreak that came with that decision. I wrote several sad little posts which illustrate the depths to which my spirit had sunken during this time. Never before had I been so depressed, and I hope never again to have that particular experience.

This year as the fact that it was soon to be his birthday once again reached my conscious mind, I found myself reflecting on the last two years and the thought I was left with was this....

What is happiness worth? Two years ago as I planned his birthday surprises, I had never before been happier. However, in the midst of my "happiness", I had to work harder than I ever had before to try to make him happy because he was in my opinion a very high maintenance and temperamental man who was prone to rapid mood swings with which I could barely keep up. When he wanted to, he could make me feel like the world revolved around the two of us, but just as easily, he could erase me from the world if he was of a mind to do such a thing. Then, last year I couldn't spell happiness as he completely changed the world I knew by deciding to no longer be a part of my world as abruptly as one might decide to change one's mind about what to wear. With that seemingly spur of the moment decision, he took away every shred of happiness I felt. Today, though I wouldn't say that I am happy [though I also would NOT say that I am unhappy either], I can say with absolute certainty that I am content and looking forward with boundless optimism to the happiness that I am positive is coming my way. The funny thing is that as much as I appreciate the lifelong love affair I have had with happiness, I must admit that when I think of what the tenuous happiness that he brought to my life cost me and my spirit, I'll pass and take the contentment and peace of mind I am blessed with right now over that particular brand of fleeting, erratic happiness.

Like every major relationship I've ever had with a man has done, this one taught me a valuable lesson as well....sometimes what passes for happiness may not be worth what it costs. Whenever that is the case, I have learned to simply let it go and hold on to my belief and faith in the fact that what is for me is mine as I continue living for the happiness that it sure to find me eventually. I know that whenever it does find me, it will definitely be worth the price I will be expected to pay for it! The take-away?...

Everything costs you something....just make sure it is worth the price!!!

Countdowns

Right now, my life seems to be all about waiting. Waiting for things to happen. Now mind you, the things I am waiting for are all great things, but still, waiting is waiting is waiting and I have never been a fan of the activity.

As those of you who come here regularly already know, the love of my life graduated high school earlier this summer. No, I am not a cradle-robber....well, technically I have been before and might be again but that's a story for another post (LOL!). No, for those of you just crawling out of your caves, the love of my life thus far is my son Ryan.

Ryan will be leaving for his freshman year at college this month. The countdown has begun, leaving just ten (10) short days between now and the beginning of his real life on August 13th 2008; a life in which the metaphysical unbilical cord that has kept us connected for the past almost 19 years will finally be severed for all time, propelling him into a separate and independent future all his own.

I'm holding up pretty well all things considered. After all, Ryan is my only biological child though my other son, Tony holds as definitive a place in my heart as does Ryan. Thanks to Tony, ( the only child of my ex-ex-ex fiance (a.k.a. Triple-X), yes, we were engaged THREE times ;) I have experience at this "send your son to college thing", and I know I can do it. That doesn't change the fact that it will be completely surreal getting used to the idea of my baby MAN not coming home every night.

I find myself wondering how long it will take before I can sleep through the night without activating my "mother hearing" to listen for the door opening and closing letting me know that Ryan is safe and sound in his mother's home.

I know without a doubt that some things I'll never get used to....like not having my 265 pound, 6 foot two inch baby MAN crawl up into the other side of the King-sized bed in which I sleep to tell me about his Saturday night escapades once he wakes up on Sunday mornings after having just found his way home a few short hours before. Without question, I know I will miss for an eternity the times when he and I sit for hours on quiet rainy or snowy weekends alternating between sleep and watching / dissing each other's taste in TV and movies until by some act of supreme will we find something on the boob-tube that suits both of our tastes. Most of all, I know there will never come a day that I will get used to entire days in which my amazing baby MAN does not knock on my bedroom door to ask if I will be disturbed by his playing the piano. I have long been amazed that he could ever believe the sound of him playing the piano could ever disturb me when next to his childhood giggle, it is the most awesome sound I've ever heard. Wanna hear it, here it go...


Ryan playing one of his original compositions

How am I ever supposed to get used to not hearing that wonderful sound around the house everyday? My son is a veritable genious and if you don't believe me, know this, he composed that piece he was playing AND taught himself to play the piano by ear AND DOES NOT READ MUSIC EVEN NOW! It is only one of his multiple talents, and I am constantly trying to figure out from where does he get this seemingly bottomless pool he possesses that is the source from which all of these amazing artistic talents spring?

Well, the countdown clock is ticking away, and in less than two weeks the love of my life and I will trail each other in separate cars to Illinois where I will help him to get situated in his dorm room with his new room mate. Then we will hit up the local Wally World to get the knicks and the knacks that will turn his new space into a surrogate for home. Finally, I'll stock him up on all his favorite "dorm-appropriate" foods and take he and his roomie out for dinner and then with as much decorum and composure as I can muster, I will turn my physical back and walk away from my baby MAN without looking back....though ONLY my physical back will be turned and a single, solitary wimper or snap of my baby MAN's fingers will bring me back to him in a flash because as I hope all y'all already know, THAT'S JUST WHAT GOOD MAMAS DO!!!

The other major event that I am waiting for is not scheduled to happen until November 21st, 2008. That is the day that me and 30 or so of my beloved friends and family members [including my amazing baby MAN] set off on the vacation of a lifetime. Do you know how many days there are between then and now? Wanna know? Now you do....

MySpace Countdown ClocksMan, can somebody please help me get through all of this waiting?! :-)

WITHOUT

Now I’ve done it.

Without having tested the texture of your lips
nor the sweetness of your tongue,
I’ve let myself fall into the nectar of loving you;
quenching my thirst like no other libation I’ve ever had before.

Without any encouragement and in the absence of fear
I’ve learned to thrive in the sun of your smile,
as if upon me it will always shine;
providing the heat necessary to sustain and maintain this life I now so love.

Without a single indication from you that the curves of my body
have captured your attention in any way,
I’ve mapped out a route of exploration and discovery on yours;
arriving again and again at a place of pleasure I’ve never before happened upon.

Without planning to, I awaken each morning to the thought of you.
Your essence you see, remains with me even when you have gone.
The sound of your voice, the light in your eyes, and the feel of you, all mine to keep;
a better gift I’ve yet to receive.

Without hesitation I close my eyes each night anxiously willing
sleep to take me yet again to wherever it is that I can find you.
No journey is too long, treacherous, nor arduous;
knowing that YOU are the final destination.

Without warning this feeling has possessed me.
My mind, body, and spirit are yours,
and one thing has made itself poignantly clear;
I no longer wish to be….

Without YOU,
Without You,
without you.

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

The World Just Keeps On Spinning....

I know it has been awhile since you all have heard from me, and all I can say about that is "I'm just happy I'm here!".

That seems to have become a litany with me over the last few weeks as the world has swirled around me so fast over the last couple of weeks that it has been all I could do to just hang on. It started with my job.

In late May, it was announced that my company would undertake a head-count reduction in order to save money. In order to reach their savings goal, a 10% global workforce reduction was announced for sometime in July. Now your girl here has been in this industry for 12+ years, and is no stranger to "head-count reductions" having been faced with six such situations prior to this announcement. Therein lay the source of my own particular stress. As conceited as I can be sometimes, I have always been acutely conscious of this one fact:

As special as I am, I AM NOT SPECIAL AT ALL!!!

and knowing this as I do, I was quite sure that it was time for my number to come up [as it always does, unless that is, it is the number to the winning POWERBALL Lottery ticket and then I know I can forget about it!]. Anyway, I was convinced that I would be one of the individuals whose life would be changed by the downsizing and thus was preparing myself for the possiblity of a return to my former career as a pharmacist; an eventuality that though tolerable is not one that I would preferentially choose.

On Friday, July 11th, we were asked to remain at home and to await a phone call that would let us know our fate with the company. I SURVIVED. All I can say is that it seems I may be living right and for that I am very grateful.

As harsh as that scenario was to live through (AGAIN), I must add that my company made me proud to work there as they have been more generous than any of us ever expected them to be in terms of the severance packages and additional benefits they provided to those displaced in this situation. Though losing one's job is obviously a very difficult situation with which to deal, in my opinion, my company surpassed my personal expectations for what any company in this day and age would ever consider doing for those who were being displaced. Without question, I have a new respect for the leaders at my company.

In the midst of all of that stress, I am still trying to coordinate this family cruise which once I am on it in November will be the trip of a lifetime but which is today, THIS DA-YUM-ED FAMILY CRUISE. Step into my life for a minute and imagine yourself trying to make sure that 30 or so black folks to whom you are related have handled the myriad of details necessary to get their broke azzes out of the country for 9 days. From orchestrating passport application completion parties to trying to figure out the most economical route of travel to get everyone to and from the port without breaking the bank, to getting some of my knuckle-headed relatives to just return a phone call, I must say DAYUM, DA-YUM, DA-YUM!!!

Okay, got that out of my system. That brings us to this WATCH ME SHRINK thing I've gotten myself into. See what had happened waz....

I was doing just fine. I had NOT lost any weight the first week, but the inches were getting with the program and I was cool with that. When I continued to lose inches the second week but still no weight, I started to wonder what the heck was up. Then I thought back to the fact that I had recently seen my doctor for a neck injury at which time his office scale had said my weight was 210 pounds. The convergence of all of these things led me to the discovery that my "trusty scale" just might NOT be so trusty afterall. Confirming this to be fact, I went out on Sunday and purchased myself a new scale and started with a new baseline of 207 pounds on Sunday (this was 10 pounds heavier than my old scale said I was). This would be a devastating blow to some, but I am so committed to this thing that I simply took it in stride. I don't know what it is this time, but I know that NOTHING will stop me from reaching my goals and with a lil' help from my friends (even the invisible ones ;), I know that the prize is already mine! So here is a little video to show you all that I truly mean biznezz!!! I am not dumb enough to miss that the images in this video are not flattering; however, I've got my eyes on that day in the future when the first video of THE REAL ME goes up and all of you go scrambling back in my archives to today to see just how far my journey has taken me....Now that'll be something....

Brave or Stupid...Doesn't Matter If I Reach My Goal!

One of the things I have always wanted to be is brave.

When I was a little girl, I was actually very similar to what I am like now except I was quite a bit more quiet and spent significantly less time at center stage. Though I've always been able to hold my own, I didn't feel brave then and I don't feel brave now.

For several years, I've had a goal in mind which entails getting myself into better/healthier physical shape. In the spring of 2006, I made great headway towards doing just that when I hired a personal trainer for several months. After losing 35 pounds, I underwent a medical procedure and was restricted temporarily (6 months) by my physicians from working out. Unfortunately, after the six month period had passed, yours truly Ms. Just Write Now still did not jump on the treadmill or any other available piece of exercise equipment resulting in the "state of disrepair" my body currently finds itself in.

After stumbling upon a YouTube video created by a young lady who uses the screen name Smile2dayTears2morro, I was inspired by the sheer bravado with which she has chosen to approach her fitness program to develop and commit myself to my own program and to make the video you'll find below as well as the ones I will be posting to YouTube in the future to document my progress.

Now some may say that I, like my new friend Smile2day... am brave to post the images and reveal so honestly the current state of my body; afterall, I am blessed to be able to hide most of the issues with clothing so my shameful secret could very easily have been kept ;) Others might say that I am just plain stupid to do something so revealing and which could potentially leave me vulnerable to untold abuse by internet haters and the such. I would say that I really don't know which group would be most right (as there is typically some right in any perspective), but one thing I do know is that I am a woman of my word who needs some assistance right now keeping my promises to myself. For that very simple reason, I am willing to risk being considered stupid by some and in the event that even one of the individuals who stumble across this thinks I am brave for doing it....well, that just means I'll be moving towards the fulfillment of two goals by taking this one critical step and what could possibly be wrong with that!

So without further ado, please allow Ms. Just Write Now to utilize the magic of YouTube to
BROADCAST HERSELF!!! ***smile***



So there you have it...it is what it is. I started this journey last Thursday July 3rd. My family's cruise vacation is scheduled to commence on Thursday, November 20th 2008 and that is my target date to be much happier with my naked or barely clothed body image. I will be posting weekly updates to YouTube no later than Thursdays each week, and will update here occasionally as I see fit.

Several of the women accompanying me on my family's cruise have made the decision to join me in my quest (some via YouTube - and some not), and I am happy for the company. If any of my blog family, female or male would like to join us as well, know that we welcome you. All suport will be gratefully accepted, and to any haters out there, feel free to do what you do best because I assure you that it will work as all things do to the good by making me just that much more determined to reach my goals so that I can show you just how big a waste your use of energy for negativity can be!

Dinner and a Movie Ms. Just Write Now Style..

As most of you know, I'm pretty much a sucker for all things holiday, so of course folks were expecting that I would be hosting some kind of shindig or other in honor of our nation's birthday. Well, in fact, I chose NOT to have a 4th of July party, because I am not a fan of fireworks in the hands of children and the inexperienced. I come from a family of folks who love to purchase stuff for their children to burn and with my luck and Murphy's Law, the most likely outcome of that combination is Ms. Just Write Now's roof ending up on fire...and not in a good way.

Never one to disappoint, I instead decided to invite the clan and a few friends over for a FIFTH OF JULY PARTY AND OUTDOOR BOOTLEG MOVIE NIGHT! Always one to try a little something different at my parties, even I have to admit that this one was an absolute blast! Check out the video for a taste of what fun the fifth of July can be ;)

You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman...

After being at war with my hair for more than 40 years, I decided back in December 2007 to start the New Year by rebelling against expectations set for me by folks I know and many I'll never meet (read: society). I decided to cut off the thin, chemically processed, abused hair I had been sporting most of my life and allow myself to discover what my natural hair texture was like. It is important to note that all my life for as far back as I can remember I had been convinced that I had thin, weak hair that was destined not to grow and to break easily. Looking at my siblings (1 sister and 3 brothers) who all share my DNA though not my hair led me to wonder if I was adopted. Confirming that I was not, I was left thinking that just maybe the problem was not my hair itself but instead the damaging things I and others were continuously doing to it. Once my decision to cut it all off and start fresh was made, I found that I felt absolutely liberated by it...a feeling which only grew in intensity over the next several months.

So, on December 31st, I did what many refer to as the BIG CHOP though in my case, my hair was so unhealthy that the chop was not all that big. The next step was to become the protector of my hair which meant not allowing any harsh chemicals to come into contact with it. This included not only perms, but also shampoos, hairsprays, and heavy synthetic oils that block hair follicles and prevent the hair from breathing.

Instead, I dove into the internet and found blogs and YouTube videos that educated me about how to better care for black hair the natural way. Instead of shampoos and other harsh chemicals, I gave my hair plenty of moisture using natural products that I make myself with ingredients like olive oil, avocado, banana, and honey. I stopped using shampoos and other products containing alcohols and other drying agents as providing moisture appears to be the single most important thing we can do for our hair.

I found that it became much easier to care for my hair in addition to being a lot less expensive. After a second and significantly smaller Big Chop in April to rid myself of any ends containing residual chemicals, I found myself with a much healthier head of hair that was strong, more elastic so it doesn't easily break, and amazingly I found that in the absence of chemicals, my hair actually grows very rapidly! In this newfound land of natural hair, I have also found that I have also become significantly more creative in the art of styling my own hair, and I have a good time doing it to boot!

As I moved through the various phases of my hair journey, I wrote about my previous experiences trying to come to terms with my hair in this post, and I summed up the journey my hair and I had taken over the years in this poem which I wrote to enter into the Bloggers Delight Poetry Contest.

Now I find myself six months into this brave new world of NATURAL HAIR and these are my thoughts:

-I LOVE LOVE LOVE my natural tresses!
-I love the texture of my hair and am hard pressed to keep my hands out of it.
-I feel more me and have a self-confidence level that I've never had before...don't ask me why ;)
-I feel sexy and BEAUTIFUL in the way that only African Queens have ever been sexy & beautiful.
-I don't ever feel the need to put harsh chemicals into my hair again.

So since you guys started this journey with me, and in at least some small way it was partially inspired by the poem I wrote to enter into the Bloggers Delight 2 Write Poetry Contest, I thought I'd share a video pictorial of my HAIRSTORY to date that can show you better than I can tell you how a woman who has been convinced that she is destined never to have a strong, healthy, thick head of hair can have the hair GOD intended her to have once she stops abusing her hair with chemicals and starts loving it with the things of nature!

AT LONG LAST, MY COILS ARE BACK

AND

THEY'VE LEARNED ONCE AGAIN HOW TO RECOIL ;)

WHOSE ONBOARD THE CARVIVAL SPLENDOR?

NOVEMBER 21ST is rapidly approaching...WILL YOU BE ONBOARD??

The Mechanics Of Passion

Lately I've been feeling a bit aimless.

I'm not sure what the root of my rootlessness is, though some might say it is the fact that the love of my life, my only child Ryan has recently graduated high school. Maybe those individuals would be right in their assessment of my situation though in my heart of hearts, I would beg to differ.

No, I truly don't feel that Ryan's rapid movement towards the world of adult independence has anything to do with my own rootlessness; I think it is something much more intrinsic to me personally. I think my issue is a severe and debilitating lack of passion, or minimally a deficiency in the tools necessary to handle the mechanics required to bring my passions to the surface.

I know what you're thinking: "What the hell is this sistah talking about now?" Let me explain. I know without a doubt that I am a woman of incredibly intense passions. However, currently I don't seem to be able to tap into any of the things towards which I feel passion. For instance, I am passionate about writing but I can't figure out what to write about. Thus, I don't write. This is not good folks and it is but one example of my recently passionless existence!

Now before y'all start getting all worried about your girl, let me assure you that I AM FINE. I am NOT depressed, nor do I feel discouraged. I am simply at one of those junctures in life when a little external inspiration will do a body good ;)

So help your sistah out...How do you manage the mechanics of tapping into your passions (whatever they are) when the flow is not what it once was? How do you find fresh and new ways to motivate yourself to pursue dreams and fantasies you rarely even find yourself dreaming or fantasizing about anymore? All suggestions, tips, and anecdotal information will be greatly appreciated and in the meantime, I will keep on keeping on as Gladys Knight sang because as y'all know, that's what I do!

Just A Quick Update On Ya Gurl...

Sorry for the long absence, but it seems that yours truly has somehow injured her neck and has found herself dealing with considerable pain and discomfort over the last week and a half or so. The really terrible part is that unfortunately all of you, my beautiful albeit PERVERTED-minded blog family members are wrong when you make the assumption that this neck injury was achieved in the commission of some lewd or lascivious behavior. (LOL) Even more than the pain in my neck, it pains me to say that no such luck has befallen your gurl...DAYUM, DAYUM, DAYUM!!!

I am currently being medicated with pain killers, muscle relaxers, and steroids to try to alleviate the stress and strain on my neck muscles, as well as undergoing physical therapy. I have been off from work for the last week and am currently scheduled for follow-up evaluation on this upcoming Wednesday. At this point, I am only able to do short stints in front of the computer and I am unable to drive at all which makes this not much fun at all.

Thus, I will stop in when I can and hope to be back in full effect in the not too distant future. In the meantime, it would be fantastic to chat with some of those I love so much on the phone, so give a sistah a holla and if you don't already have my number, hit me up on the personal email or just ask somebody as those who have the number prolly have a pretty good idea on who they would have my blessings to pass it on to ;) Also, as always it is my pleasure to get your comments right here at home ;)

So send up a special word to whoever it is you pray if indeed you pray, or simply send your blessings directly my way as I'm pretty much feeling like a big ass wuss right about now and could use any support you can offer. Whatever you do, please, please, please hang on in there with your gurl 'cause she won't ever be gone for long and you can bet your bottom dollar on that right thur!!!

She's Baaaaaaaackkkkkkkk....well, almost ;)

Hey blog fam!

Sorry for the long absence, but as I stated in my last post, the last couple of weeks were a beast! I am sitting in the airport at Chicago Midway as I type while awaiting my DELAYED plane which is scheduled to have me back in The Lou by 3pm this afternoon. I am not overly confident about my chances, so I thought I might post this quick blog to pass the time as I wait.

The party was a blast though Mother Nature got a bit pissy with us and tried to rain us out. I don't know what her problem was since she was sent a gold engraved invitation inviting her to attend. No matter though cause as y'all know, Ms. Just Write Now don't let a little Mother Nature piss stop no show! I have been too busy with business travels the last week to upload my pictures or to create my movie but as soon as I do, they will be shared here along with all the details of the festivities. However, I would like to thank my blog bro Mega Rich and his spectacularly beautiful family for gracing my affair with their presence ;)

I know I've been off the radar for a bit and my apologies to all of my regular reads for my failure to drop in and to comment. I find that I am so far behind with all of you super regular bloggers that I will never catch up if I comment. So though I will go back and catch up on everything I missed by reading the old posts, I will probably reserve my comments for the most recent posts so that I can get back on track as soon as possible...unless that is I find I simply can't help myself ;b

Even so, when I finally had the time to get online and do me instead of "The Man's bidding" last night, I found my gurls had started THE PUSSY CHATS! Now why they wanna go and do that?! I got caught up over there in a matter of an hour or less and simply couldn't refrain from adding my own two cents once I found my personal invitation to do so! You can see what I had to say here, but there are so many other things you've thought but never had the guts to say all over the place that you simply must stop by whether you have a pussy of your own or not! So at this time, I'd like to give a huge thank you to my blog sistahs Lovebabz and CapCity for RELEASING THE CATS OVER AT THE CHATS! Y'all are my idols!

Well, they are claiming my plane is here so I'd better wrap this now. I'll be back soon and I look forward to stopping by all of y'alls places soon so gone and get the margaritas ready!

There are no words....(all evidence to the contrary ;)

Hi blog family! As most of you know, this is a very big week for my family as the love of my life graduated from high school last night and is heading off to college in the fall! My son Ryan has indeed made my life fulfilling in ways I never even dreamed possible; so much so that I must take this opportunity to say thank you to any and everyone with whom I interacted in my life that led to me becoming the mother of this amazing person as I believe that everything that happens to an individual is necessary and comes together to lead them to wherever it is they wind up. As I watch Ryan begin to make his own dreams come true in much the same way he has brought so many of my dreams to fruition I am both amazed and astonished.

With a son like Ryan, I am very used to witnessing wonderful spectacles, even so, I was still knocked off my feet by this...

I thought I was prepared, because this was a long time in coming. However, to actually hear the name I chose for him more than 18 years ago be called and subsequently watch him walk across that stage so strong and proud of himself, almost brought me to my knees. Another young man in his graduating class who is one half of a set of twins is being treated for brain cancer which is considered to be terminal in this case. As his twin brother helped him up the stairs to receive his diploma, I felt as if the breath had been stolen from my body as I realized how truly blessed I am to have a son who is not only graduating high school, but who also is in great health as well. My heart went out to this young man's mother as every cell in my body withered at the thought that such a thing could happen to someone's "RYAN". Once again I realized that though acknowledging and appreciating our children's accomplishments is very important, it is so much more critical that we acknowledge and appreciate our children themselves...after all, THEY are the true gift!

With the ceremony over and the Graduation Party & 4th Annual Memorial Day Weekend "Remember When..." Picnic still on the horizon for next Sunday (all my blog family is welcome so consider yourself officially invited and shoot me an email for the particulars if you will be/are in the St. Louis vicinity on Sunday, May 25th) I have tons to do. I have already purchased and begun to clean the more than 600 pounds of meat for the bar-b-que which my brother-in-law Gary will make happen at my house on Saturday. I will be hand forming close to 120 hamburgers and grilling up more than 300 bratwurst and hotdogs before this is all over. The house is clean and ready for the onslaught of more than 250 of our favorite everyday people and by Friday evening, the yard around my house will look like a back-in-the-day old skool picnic wonderland! The party begins at 2pm and doesn't end until the last guest decides to go home (and if you know my family, you know that could take days!). The dee-jays have been contracted and will begin to spin their magical spells around 5pm with shift changes so the music never stops! Games like horse shoes, washers, and volleyball will be played by the teens and adults while sack races, three-legged races, and hula-hoop contests and the such will be enjoyed by the babies and some young at heart grown folk too I'm sure. Somewhere up in all this activity, there will be card tables set up to accommodate games of Bid Whist, Spades, Tonk, and Dominos (a.k.a. BONES for you die-hards), and my brother Dee (who is doing wonderfully well with his kidney) will be dealing up a friendly game of Black Jack for those who might be interested. Last but not least, the bartenders (a.k.a. my sister Jackie and my pal Mark) will be serving up delectable libations such as Desert Pear Margaritas and Appletini's, Original and Strawberry Margaritas, and just about any other concoction you can come up with at the bar which will be fully stocked with beer and premium liquors and up and running throughout! So if indeed you are in the neighborhood, do stop in!

Now back to the real subject of this post while the glow of watching my life's miracle make miracles of his own is still all over me!

Me and Ryan stylin' and profilin' following his high school graduation ceremony!

My babyboy...oops!, scratch that, my babyMAN will be attending college next fall where he will work towards taking his awesome talents as an artist (cartoons and computer graphics/animation) to a whole other level.

(Sample of one of Ryan's Computer Graphic Cartoons)

Of course those of you who stop by here regularly know that this post could go on for the next week or so if I don't exercise some self-control (something of which I have very little when it comes to extolling the glories of being this young man's mother ;), so I'll wrap by saying this...

"Though I have done many things in my life of which I am quite openly proud, they ALL pale in comparison to having mothered this manchild. His high school graduation represents his own ability to make things happen for himself and allows me the opportunity to burst with pride over the fact that I had a hand in creating and raising to manhood an individual who is not afraid to go out into the world and do just that...make things happen! THIS IS HIS ACCOMPLISHMENT, something I make a point of making sure he knows. However, I also hope he knows how very special I feel to be allowed to share his joy as he begins to discover for himself what I have known since the day he was born and that is that he is well on his way to becoming THE SPECTACULAR MAN he was always pre-destined to be ;)

It'll be quiet around here for a few but I promise those of you who can't attend one spectacular picture video montage of all the festivities once they are over!

Gone and sing it for me now Stevie...

MIA...

Yeah, I heard it...the grumblings of "Where is she?", the "Where has she gones?", and the "I know one thing, she had better show her butt up around these parts sometime soon or there are going to be some major problems!" Well I hope y'all can forgive me, but just take a look around and you'll see where it all began.

I got to spend a long weekend in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico where I had to spend Saturday working but Sunday was mine to do with as I pleased. Well, what I pleased to do with it was to spend it at the beach! So I asked around and a couple of the soldiers that I worked with that weekend informed me that Jobo Beach was the most beautiful beach in Aguadilla and thus where I would spend the day on Sunday was decided!



This amazing beach had it all...rocky cliffs that overlook the surf crashing against the rocks of the cliffs themselves with so much force that the spray created rises higher than the cliffs themselves.

On the other side of the cliffs I found a beautiful beach with golden sand and quaint little beach establishments serving up anything my little heart desired in the way of libations. My drug of choice: Pina Colada! I rented myself a chaise, disrobed myself of my cover-up, got the first of several delicious libations, and began to do what I have learned after all of these years to do best...lay back and enjoy life as it is!!!

What's that you say? Pray tell did I hear you say (or even insinuate) that yours truly, Ms. Just Write Now lay on that beautiful beach and never even so much as thought of you, her beloved blog family? Au Contraire my friends, au contraire...

So you see, even in the midst of paradise with all of this available to her...

YOU, her blog family remain always in the heart of yours truly, Ms. Just Write Now!

PEACE AND LOVE FAMILY

PEACE AND LOVE!!!

What? Stop Blogging...What do you mean stop blogging?!

A week or so ago, I was reading the blog of one of my very favorite bloggers and real life friends the infamous Ladylee, when I came upon this disclaimer:

"Warning: This a long post, maybe the longest I've ever written. I do that for a reason: I know very few will read it, so I can just flow freeeeely. That's cool, because number one, I'm not a "comment whore", and number two, 99.99999% of what I write is for ME."

I was stopped cold by this statement:

"...I'm not a "comment whore"..."

and of course, me being me I found myself wondering..."AM I A COMMENT WHORE?"

I have been blogging here on blogger since November 2005, and in that time, I have written posts that seemed to inspire a huge amount of conversation and debate and others which received not a peep of a comment out of anyone; if indeed anyone actually read them at all. If I am completely honest with you and myself, I'd have to admit that on the occasions that a post I wrote generated a lot of discussion I was estatic. However, when on the other hand one of my posts appeared to have fallen upon deaf ears based on the fact that it received ZERO comments, I typically find that I am somewhat disappointed.

When I step back and ask myself "Why it is that I blog?", the answer is always the same...I blog because I love writing and I love writing whether or not others respond to what I write. Nevertheless, at the risk of revealing my egotism, I also blog because I CRAVE the feedback some of my posts receive from those of you who honor me with your comments.

These thoughts led me to another question..."Under what conditions would I STOP blogging and if I did, would I actually delete this blog?" Now this is a question I can easily answer...I cannot conceive of a situation that would cause me to stop blogging, and if I ever did, the answer to the question "Would I delete this blog?" is NOT NO BUT HELL TO THE NAWL!! Though I actually know bloggers (through blogging) who have deleted what I thought were absolutely amazing blogs, for me that would be tantamount to amputating one of my limbs myself or killing my own child and I simply could not do it. I sometimes have nightmares about Blogger going mad as it has in the past and inadvertently deleting my blog...this is one of the few things that might keep me awake at night if I weren't such an excellent sleeper ;)

Over the past year, blogging has essentially saved my life as I dealt with the ups and downs of a relationship and its end. Admittedly, there were times when I wished I had not written some of the things I've written and at times I have even considered deleting a post or two, but always the rational side of me asks myself "Why do that?" After all, what is, is and what happened, happened...deleting the post that tells the story doesn't change the fact that it ACTUALLY happened so what would be the point of deleting the post.

I am so grateful to this little blog of mine because it has given me a venue in which I could let this little light of mine shine, shine, shine and believe me, I do my best to let it SHINE!

So now I ask YOU,

• Does the fact that I am somewhat disappointed when a post I write receives no comments make me a "comment whore"?
• Do you consider yourself to be a "comment whore"?
• Would you continue to blog if you NEVER received another comment on any post you write?
• In the event that you ever decided to stop blogging would you delete your blog?

Let me hear from you if you don't mind too terribly as this is something about which I am very curious. Also, before I go, please believe me when I say that "This is NOT the "comment whore" in me trying to solicit more comments!" LOL ;)